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This post is less about friendly places and is more about web forums that can end up being toxic.
It is pretty sad that members of any forum like ours could be anything but supportive. While we are all obviously unique and beautiful in our own ways, many of us share very similar stories and what makes a support group so helpful, is being able to talk to others who can offer support based on their own experiences and for whom you can give similar support. I've been here for two weeks now and can't imagine not chatting with some of the amazing friends who I have met.
On a sad contrary, this past weekend I stumbled upon a similar forum which I quickly signed up for. I figure there's no such thing as too much support. I used the same introductory post which I used here and got quite a few friendly replies and a private message from a member who lives nearby. Yesterday, I decided to share another post that I had made here on there as well, about my marital problems. While a few members offered some kind words and support, it quickly seemed to turn around and most of the replies, instead of offering advice, instead pinpointed several of my comments and I am now being ranted to about how I was obviously too immature to get married and that I can't blame my wife for all of my personal problems. One post seemed to imply that I am only using the idea of crossdressing as a crutch to hide from the problems in my personal life. It took a lot of determination to not tell these users where they can shove their opinions.
That being said, to anybody who has never been there for support, I highly suggest never signing up for Crossdressers dot com. Not only are the members not helpful, they apparently have very strict forum rules as well. They have some forums that are locked until you finish a probationary period where you post at least 10 times (not including your introduction post or replies to those who comment on it) in 30 days. Apparently if you don't post regularly, you can be locked out as well. I can't even edit my profile for some reason, when I try, it tells me that I do not have rights to click that link (wtf). While I do kind of like that they have message boards that are seperated between groups (CD, TS, MtF, FtM, etc.) and some groups are open to all, apparently you're not welcome to post anywhere. I made a post in the transexual group and I was sent an email that the post was deleted because I am a crossdresser and not a transexual. It seems that the leaders of this website have lost sight of the fact that we are all experiencing similar problems, no matter how different our sexuality, gender or overall way of life might be. I will most certainly be deleting my membership from this page.
Crystal forums will only ever be as good as the members who use them. Sometimes sites try to separate membership into various gender/sexuality-based groups but the inherent problem with that is they then become restrictive, as you discovered.
We try to be careful with who we welcome as members at CDH and those who become abusive or offensive are given marching orders. We aim to be a true support site.
Maybe CDH is all you need at the moment.
Hi Crystal,
I, too, only came here a couple of weeks ago. I have resisted joining groups for the fear of exactly what happened to you. I had a bad experience with a group not related to cross dressing. I am glad that I took the plunge here though. So far everyone has been kind and supportive
Jillian
Hi Crystal
I have nothing but support from this group the girls are all so friendly I did join another site but found that all the help wanted was either sexual relationships or other things I am so glad that I found this site
Hugs Andrea
Same results but different forum I think (may have been the same one? was a long time ago).
I reached out and initially I was welcomed but soon the knives came out and because I wasnt going to become a woman or live as one I was criticized for wasting their time. Unfortunately I had stumbled across a Trans site that was CD friendly...to a point. As long as you lived as a woman you were fine but if you were just a guy in a dress then you got hell.
I ran and never looked again. Talk about negative stereo type reinforcement of individuals. I wanted support but instead got called a weirdo because I wasnt hard core enough...LOL
But now Im here!
I've had a similar experience on another "support" site. They claim to be all inclusive for everyone regardless of where you are on your journey, but cross dressers are for the most part ignored. I even read on one post that I was "only a crossdresser" . Always though I was a person, but.....
Yes I discovered long ago that serious transexuals want nothing to do with us, It does come out in these sites that claim to be open to cds but arent really. They dont see us as the girls we see ourselves. Too bad but thanks for this site
I've found this forum awhile back and really think that its great.
All of the girls are so supportive and friendly.
I started off as a cross dresser and have been evolving into a transgender woman .
The support has been great as far as me being a man dressing as a woman as well as moving into the possibility of becoming a woman full time either by dressing as full time or going through the transition process.
Bravo !
Two thumbs up.
I’m a long time member on that site, and yes, the admins there can be curt and petty. Would not surprise me if one saw this post and banned me.
that being said, most of the members are very nice, but a few bad eggs want to judge every single comment negatively instead of supportively.
it is the largest site of its kind (as far as I know), and there is a LOT of information there. I still visit it often, and like it.
Just like in real life, I just try to slough off the rudeness and just listen to the non-judgemental members, moderators, and admins.
But unfortunately, I am not surprised one bit by your experience.
this site seems much more chill by comparison, and I love that!
I'm on there too, but I don't post often like I use to when I first started cross dressing. My posts have been edited up the wazoo.
Hi Crystal,
I too am a member at that site and even re joined as I left that site in 2011. But it is different now compared to 7 years ago. I haven’t had a serious problem there yet but it is quite a bit more sanitized almost like a clean room environment. Before I left that site it was getting some bad apples and others looking for sex. I actually have only logged in there 3 times since I re joined. I love it here!!!! This is a more pleasant format and the girls are fabulous 😁! Very friendly and amazingly accepting and supportive. Now if I can only find my anti biotch cream to send them........rummages around in purse......bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Love you all💗! TTFN💋👠
Danielle
Funny, I just visited that board and left a message of support for a member that received unjust comments to her post.
It is a very active board, and I have been visiting and posting there for years. But it sucks when even the admins troll members with inscrutable rules and policies.
I just love CDH, though! Hope the chat things gets straightened out soon.
