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I started cross-dressing in a lightweight way, last September, when I had a couple of skirts. The chances of me passing as a woman in public at that time would, I guess, be around 3%, but only if I was seen by a partially blind person from 200 metres away, in the dark. I had no makeup, I had a beard, I had no wig, bad legs, bad gait, dreadful dress-sense. I used condoms full of water for breasts and my heels were so high and uncomfortable, I walked like a baby giraffe on ice.
Fast forward to today and I think I'm over 90% 'passable', with only my voice letting me down.
For the last three days, I have been Becca. I have been out to the city of Exeter and twice to Plymouth. The final time in Plymouth was on my own, today, a Saturday, in the Christmas-shopping season, and the place was absolutely packed; parking was a nightmare with queues to almost all the car parks. Fortunately, I have Schmoo, my Smart car, and I happen to know the Theatre car park has some very tiny parking bays tucked away behind support-columns; just the place for a tiny car; and there did I park.
I'll cut a long story very short. Basically I spent a few hours in the city, looking at clothes, having lunch and, on two occasions, using the ladies loos (and I had to queue up at one of them.)
I watched people surreptitiously (reflected in shop windows) as I walked to see if they stared at me. I had a couple of looks but no more than I would have got if I was in drab; just coincidentally, not curiously.
I interacted with a few people but didn't say very much and none looked at me oddly, indeed, a lady in one of the toilets, after leaving a trap towards which I headed, said to me, "there's no toilet paper in that one, darling." I thanked her (didn't need it anyway, of course).
Anyway, I got home after a few hours and reflected on my last few days as Becca, with special note for today as my wife wasn't there. I enjoyed myself immensely, I felt totally at ease and not remotely like an imposter (even though I am one; aren't we all?).
To sum up: after one year, I think I'm somewhere around 90% passable in public now as a [very] mature lady-who-lunches. Sort the voice out and I think I'll make 95%. It is a shame, but I know I'll never make 100%; there will always be a suspicion that I'm male no matter what I do because of my height or something I'll miss at the wrong time.
However, 90% is good enough. I can look like a woman, I can do makeup (better than many women), I dress better, my walk is pretty good, as is how I carry my arms, move my hair and generally perform in public.
For me, it's good to be a cross-dresser.
Becca
xx
I’m curious Becca, are you working on sorting that voice? If so, how do you practice?
You’re right about the 90%. It’s good enough. As has been discussed on several forums of late, the GG’s aren’t trying as hard as they used to. It’s all about comfort so that gives us girls a bit of a head start on looking “average girly” these days IMHO.
I can’t recall the last time I noticed a GG all dressed up with a dress on. Probably at the airport last time flying. And I know that we girls are definitely using more makeup than them. The girls I see the most, the ones in the “retirement bracket” have all but abandoned any serious makeup usage.
On one hand, it’s good because it’s easier if you’re trying to blend. But on the other hand, we tend to like more of the girly stuff. To where we overdo it and look too dressed up and too made up.
But all in all, yes, it’s good to be a crossdresser 🥰
GP
It’s good for me to be a crossdresser too Becca. We are the lucky ones.
Becca,
You have made great progress in one year. You should be proud, doing this is not easy. Thanks for keeping us updated on your progress. All the best.
Fiona
I think we are particularly bad at math(s). If you were at 90%, then 1 in 10 would have known. If you were at 95%, it's 1 in 20. But from your description of no strange looks, if you didn't interact with people, I don't think 1 in 20 read you.
Because people are so engrossed in their own little bubbles, I think we pass at a higher rate than we believe.
Becca -
Thank you for sharing your day out experience. It is heart warming to read such accounts. You are an inspiration to us all. Personally I don't go out dressed but do dabble a bit - I wear earrings 24/7, will wear panties (i.e. underdress), wear knee high stockings and female ankle boots while in drab, have my fingernails painted in a clear gel with a pink tinge. I've received compliments on my earrings and manicure a few times which are lovely to receive. I would love to do more, and hope to some day, however, per an agreement with my wife my dressing stays in the house. She is being more open about letting part of Suzanne out from time to time so there is hope.
Enjoy your time out and about.
XOXO
Suzanne
Becca
What a great story. You should be so proud of what you have done and how far you have come. As far as my experience goes if you are only getting a second look from the odd person every now and then you are totally passing. If anyone has any doubts that you might be a guy you will always be getting second and third looks.
These days it seems a bit anything goes with what GG's wear and do these days so while many may dress in jeans and T shirt without makeup. At least here in Australia (not sure about the UK or US) there are still enough GG's who wear makeup, skirts and dresses that I don't look out of place. Having said that I am a real sucker for a pair of tailored slacks.
Speed of light, meteoric is the progress you have made in a year as chronicled by you.
I use my home made hip and booty pads which are placed in a rather large knicker which can be slipped on and held in place all day. Bespoke and washable they have been a revelation to me. Along with silicone enhancers in a correct fitting and sized bra the base is set.
Dressing is like make up, enhancing the features that are important to blend into the frame and highlight the overall appearance with an appropriate coverage. Hair and make up to your style are the finishing touches. There may be some flaws but if the overall impression is to appear as any other female.
I have often said that the busier the place the less notice you will get going about your day and say that from experience. People look around at other people but is the reason what you are imagining?
The issue of the voice is one that affects many of us and can be an Achilles heel. However if the image a person sees is one of a woman then maybe they will guess but in brief encounters their brain has accepted a female and they are programmed to deal with as such.
Yes my voice isn't perfect, I do try but it isn't the be all and end all. You do your best and you'll be surprised as it doesn't seem to matter. I have worked with women and have female friends who have never known my male self. Now down the road we sit and talk womens things, shop and share experiences, it's second nature. It is the same at work or groups I am involved in.
I agree 100% is a very high bar but getting anywhere near that is an achievement Becca, so happy that you are so far up the scale and documenting your rise is an inspiration to others.
Becca - well done however one thing with which I do not agree is the use of a ladies loo if you have a penis (I am making an assumption and if wrong I apologise). I have talked to a number of women about this and if they have one objection to us it is with the use of lavatories.
I expect an outcry of disagreement but ask that those who disagree with me do agree that I am able to do so.
thank you for your reply Becca. I think you are being a little extreme in saying that you would have to stand at a urinal, there are closets in men's lavatories and you could have complete privacy. Yes using the disabled facility is a reasonable alternative. With regard to using the ladies you are looking at it from a male viewpoint I suggest you talk to some women and ask their views. As if me if you have read any of my posts you will know that I am only about 30% passable but when I reach passibility (is that a word?) I shall use the disabled and if not a closet in the men's although I do have the advantage of having a very retentive bladder!!!
I suggest we leave it to others to comment, maybe the women I know are the exception and maybe your view is correct - I don't know
Interesting thread, and sounds like a great experience.
I've only stepped out twice, in London and Berlin. The first time, it was terrific but scary! I think I really thought that I'd be chased by a mob. But people have their own lives to get on with. I walked around for about ten minutes, and found no-one cared.
The second time, far less scary. I did some relaxed window shopping. Hoping to have a chance in a few weeks to go out again.
I found makeup was important in achieving enough confidence. I don't rate myself at all for passing. I'm just handling makeup well enough for it to make myself feel better.
I've never found a source that really explained how to apply eyeliner - that was a big struggle, but maybe it just requires lots of practice. I really think if there was a simple guide somewhere online, it would help people a lot. On the other hand, it strikes me that there's just a lot to get to know.