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Good morning ladies,
Well I have read about this before and now I’m living it. My wife who has been amazing I thought wanted to talk last night. She now informed me that she doesn’t think she can stay with me after 26 years of marriage as she thinks i may be trans and want to dress 24/7 other then work. I’ve told her many times that this isn’t the case. Yes I’m dressing and going out more as suggested by my counsellor but still in the perimeters of our agreement. She apologized for not letting me know sooner as she has been thinking about it for a bit now. I always ask her if she is ok with things and the answer is always yes. She still asks if Ashley would clean the house for her , and she hasn’t seen Ashley for a while. I totally understand that this whole thing can be hard on her but I do and have followed the guidelines. I was taken back by this comment of leaving as I’m finally at terms with myself as a crossdresser after all the years of guilt and shame. Numerous counselling sessions who all mention it’s part of who I am and to embrace it. She said she still wants me to be happy but doesn’t see herself living with a “woman” 24/7. I and I think most would agree I can’t just stop crossdressing after all these years and as of late going out in public and feeling very comfortable doing so. When she asked if I could guarantee I wouldn’t go full time we all know there are no guarantees in life other then death and taxes. I told her yes Ashley is a huge part of me but I can’t see into the future. She agreed and said that worries her. Any ideas or experiences with this happening? As I mentioned a few posts ago I’ve recently come out to her sister in law ( her sister ) and she loves Ashley. She said she loves her sister but also mentioned she can be selfish at times. She thinks I should talk about why it’s ok to be Ashley to clean or do the laundry and explain to her that once we are empty nesters I won’t dress 24/7. If it seems like I dress every time kids are away shouldn’t mean I’ll dress everyday when there gone for good but rather I’m taking advantage of them not home to be able to dress stress free. We have always been close and I appreciate her being there for me. Now she doesn’t want to see us split but has said she wants to still be in my life if it did go that way. I’m at a loss and very upset with this whole thing but do understand her feeling. I guess time will tell the out come. Thanks for listening ladies.
A very confused,
Ashley❤️
Hi Ashley I wish you luck in your situation. It sounds heart breaking. I wish I could offer you some advice but I haven't had to go though anything like it so don't know what you could do. I hope you are able to work something out.
Love Trish
Hi Ashley
Sorry to hear of the dilemma you find yourself in, going from 'I totally understand to I cannot do this anymore must be heart breaking for you. But all I can do is wish you the very best of luck in the difficult decisions you and your wife have to make.
Samantha x
Thanks Trish, I hope so as well.
hugs
Ashley
So sorry Ashley.
Maybe it will take nothing more than a little less Ashley.
I've been a CDH member for two years and there are so many cases of a supportive spouse becoming unaccepting about dressing.
One of the key points in our profiles is the SO "knowing". There are so many bad outcomes.
I think my wife "knows" somewhat, but we are in a "don't ask/don't tell" mode.
I know that I do not want a girl and girl relationship with my wife. I have a feminine side which I want to nourish, but that is for me and the emotional peace that womanhood brings to me.
Ashley, would you like to chat in a PM format.
Diane
Hi Ashley.
I am sorry to hear of your wife's change of heart.😥 I am far from an expert so don't think of this as more than a suggestion. Have you tried JOINT counseling? If your counselor is supportive and encouraging you to dress more, maybe they can reasure your wife that the fact you have respected boundaries up to now is a good indicator that you will repect them in the future. Sometimes an objective third party can help work out what appears to be impasses in a relationship. Big hugs!🤗🤗
Hey Ashley;
I'm sorry to hear this news of a new struggle to navigate through. I cannot imagine how hard this is on both you and your wife. I wish the best outcome for you and your relationship.
Hugs Amelia 🎀
Hi Ashley. I am so sorry to hear about your bad news. It puts you in such a bad position. I know for myself the more I try not to dress the harder it is not to dress. I hope you can find some middle ground with her. I know how stressful it can be. Good luck. Hugs.
I’m so sorry to hear this and you’re right we can’t just stop dressing, it’s not a light switch but I hope it does work out Thank you for sharing.
Sorry for your situation, Sweetie, but I have to disagree. Once you know/decide who you are, then you CAN make promises for the future. When I realized I am a hetero MTF Cross Dresser and not wanting to fully become a woman, I could ease my wife's fears (somewhat) about losing her husband. You need to understand (as fully as anyone can) who you are and what your journey is, THEN you can move forward.
Thank you Paula.
Thank you Michelle, I hope so as I know I can’t completely stop but I have stayed to our past agreements on what she is good with so it is very hard for me to hear this now that I’ve gained the confidence and acceptance of myself.
Yes I think it is as I’ve asked what will be good with her but she hasn’t given me an answer.
Thanks so much.
Thank you Gen. 🤗
