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Last night, Philma and I went out local monthly drag show. I prefer to go down to Kansas City where people are, generally, more open and accepting. The drag show is one place though that I feel comfortable being myself in this ultra conservative town.
I went to one a couple months back and just kinda blended in with the large crowd. I went one step further last night though. My daughter bought me a Trans Pride pin that I wore all night. So, even though I did my best with my makeup, clothes, and accessories to be passable, I wasn’t trying to pass at all. I wanted to present as a stylish and classy trans girl. How did it turn out? It was a much different experience to say the least.
At the previous drag show, I did get a couple compliments on my outfit. But last night, the attention was almost overwhelming. So many people were complimentary about one thing or another. A few compliments were just about my overall appearance. It was such a confidence boost and really made the one negative experience not be a downer for my evening.
There was one guy that was hitting on me from the moment I walked in until the moment he left. Normally, being hit on is a compliment and, at first, it was. But just before he left, he started coming up behind me and putting his hand on my shoulder to get my attention. He said he meant no disrespect and didn’t mean to offend me. I told him that offering me drinks did neither but he needed to keep his hands to himself. Having Philma there did keep the guy at bay for a while and kept me from having to really go off on him or kick his a**. I have always understood what cisgender women have to deal with when they are in public and pushy guys like that won’t leave them alone. But that gave me a new perspective on it.
In the future, at upcoming events, I will still wear my Trans Pride pin. I probably won’t wear it for a regular shopping outing but I will take advantage of these events where it’s a more accepting environment to say that I am trans, I am proud, we are here, and get used to it.
Pictures are posted in the public and private galleries.
Sounds like an eye opener Mika. Always nice to have your wingman (wing-girl?) along.
You have come so very far since we first began following your exploits not so very long ago. Very happy for you.
Best, Clara
Thank you, Clara! Things definitely went pretty fast for me. I can’t recommend this approach for everyone. But it suits me well. I wish some of the girls that had been so encouraging back then had not left the group.
It’s a big confidence boost and comfort having a wing-girl with me. Not only are we lucky to have a cd/tg friend but we are so fortunate that we had known each other before we began this journey.
I would love the compliments and the attention. Unwanted or not. I often wondered how a use guy would feel. Having one of us girls kick their butt. Hope I never find out.
LOL. I definitely didn’t mind the attention. I just wasn’t prepared for so much of it. And honestly, I didn’t mind that guy until he started getting handsie.
The room with the show has two entrances. One is a direct entrance and the other requires one to walk through a restaurant to get in. I deliberately go through the restaurant (this time with my Trans Pride pin) because it exposes some people to a cd/tg that may not be going into the show. Exposure.
Mika,
I had to laugh, I was out dressed once years ago with a girlfriend (GG) and this guy started hitting on us both and wouldn't stop. We went to the Ladies and she said "This is what we have to put up with as women, now you know what it's like!" And it wasn't pleasant.
We went back out and the same guy started again, trying to put his hand on my butt. Now given I was not what I looked like I didn't want trouble, but my friend said "Keep you hands off of my girlfriend!" He looked surprised and said "You lezzies?" My friend replied "No, just want to be left alone!" At this point he tried to reach up and fondle her breast and she hit him HARD with a left hook, out of nowhere! It floored him, and men in the bar started to laugh at him that a girl had floored him.
Anyway, he left us alone then and I hope got the message that women are not there to be fondled and touched!
S
I have had a few instances where men approached me, one I was totally oblivious to - my "first time".
I was at a casino bar with 2 GG friends. A man approached our table and started chatting us up. It was pleasant enough, but after he left, my friends were all agog. They said he was SO hitting on me, and I never even noticed! I wanted to call him back over and ask if they were right (lol).
The other 2 times were at bars - gay bars - so I honestly don't know if these guys were hitting on Julie, or hitting on a guy in a dress. (I have always had a terrible time believing that anyone would accept me as a GG, but my dear Sister Friends have told me that I pass with flying colors)
I almost always have a companion when attending events like this but feel so flattered when guys hit on me and have learned how to handle it if not interested in him.
Hi Mika Your story brought back a memory I will never forget. I used to go out to a gay night club alone but would meet up with other trans girls at the night club. I used always tried to park as close to the club as possible where there was plenty of light. There was one night there was a guy following me from other side of the street. I could see me car. I had my keys in my hand. My brain was racing going through every motion i had to do to get into my car, start it and get away. I got to the car and heard a voice calling my name. I was so grateful it was the bouncer from the club. He told me that he noticed that guy leaving right after I did and he just did not look right so he decided to follow him. I am not into guys but i gave him a huge hug and said thank you. He was so cute when he said I am not just a good looking potted plant I work there for a reason. I replayed the incident over and over in my head on the way back to my apt. It was scary I did thank him again and offered to buy him a drink. I also asked him how he knew my name and just said, I pay attention. I told him that he was going to make some lucky girl very happy one day. Couple things I learned from that experience.1. Not all guys are horny pigs. 2. Take a cab to and from club no matter the cost. 3. Apply for a permit to carry a deadly weapon. I agree with you about when and where to wear your pin. I love what you said "I am proud and here to stay". We always have been here but just not in the light. Thank you for your post
Luv Stephanie
Simone, that is one of the best stories I have ever read here! Props to your friend and heaps of respect!
That’s so awesome, Julie. I’m so glad you shared it. You definitely bring up a great point about us girls being hit on while dressed. In my case, I have to assume he saw me as a transgender girl because I was wearing my Trans Pride pin. All the attention definitely has me curious enough to wear it off and on at different times to see if it makes people more or less inclined to compliment (or hit on) me.
A companion does make a huge difference. I did attend the previous show by myself. I didn’t have any issues but I only got a couple compliments on my outfit that time.
After this experience, it does make me curious about dealing with guys in the future. This guy was a real piece of work. He was quite a bit older and I’m no spring chicken. He even stated his age as his excuse for not keeping his hands to himself. I found that odd. But from a sociology perspective I also found that interesting.
Thank you, Stephanie, for both the personal experience and the welcome advice. We should always be vigilant and pay attention to what’s happening around us. We can’t let our guard down even if we haven’t had any close calls such as yours. I have to admit that I need to keep #1 in mind that not all men are pigs.
You handled yourself very well that night Mika. The plan for my next step was to get the bouncer.
For everyone on this thread: I’ve worked in a bar, and that is always the solution. The bar owners/employees will ALWAYS take care of a situation like this, and appreciate finding out someone is bothering you sooner than later. If you do anything violent, you will both be thrown out. If you just get the bouncer or bartender, you get to stay, and the offender gets thrown out or told to leave you alone.
However, I certainly had the urge to jab him in the eye socket with my high heel. These guys forget we’re wearing weapons on out feet! Stilettos in more than one way!
I can’t wait for our next outing. We are certainly a couple of gals not to be F-ed with. 🥰😂
That’s a good point about getting the employees involved. Next time, I’ll nip it in the bud sooner. Plus, the bouncer had already complimented my blouse so we were already good LOL.
I’m already thinking about outfits for next time. I may have to keep wearing the ankle boots because they are so comfortable. I would love to wear my stilettos but standing that long in D’Orsay pumps sounds excruciating.
