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Hi everyone, I have only recently joined with this group as a new member and slowly navigated my way around. I guess looking for friendship of like minded folk so below is my first post.
This is a true story with a lovely ending.
Many years back my mother often told me as a young boy that she wanted a girl, this was after the loss of my oldest sister before I was born and I was the 3rd child.
Overtime my mother’s comments no matter how innocent they may of been to her at the time, upset my young mind psychy and I have been crossdressing on and off for many years. Often months in between episodes and always in secret.
Now many years later and now retired, I decided to be open and truthful with my lovely wife who I have kept this all from. After researching how to bridge this conversation I decided to not to apologies but be open and honest about who I am.
Well as the story goes, this did not go down well. Oh dear. I was left sleeping by myself that night and in the morning our relationship was still very frosty, something worse than you would find at the polar caps. I was getting the non talking too, cold treatment would be an understatement.
As the day wore on I followed her into the bedroom where she was lying down visibly upset and after a brief discussion she was in tears. I was Bible bashed as crossdressing was sinful etc etc. Eventually we did console ourselves and we did get back on talking terms. But I was still in a lonely place and there was no way forward for me.
It was just after lunch the same day and we were both tired as neither of us got much sleep the night before. But we were now back on talking terms I said to my wife I was going to have a lie down.
About 15 minutes later my lovely wife came into the bedroom and laid down beside me. We spoke a bit more and she was able to ask me a number of questions about my Crossdressing to which I answered her honestly. We even kissed and shared a moment of intimacy.
My lovely wife informed me she still has to get her mind around all of this but offered me some of her clothes as she no longer wears them.
The next morning she had a previously arranged appointment and upon her leaving she left me some female clothing to try on. My Goodness I was so appreciative of her compassion and her empathy. At first I felt like my world had just ended and now I am no longer in a lonely place.
lots of kindness to everyone, I hope your day becomes brighter
Gwen
(Gwen495)
Welcome Qwen,
Nice of you to share your experience with coming out to your wife, I like the happy ending! 🤗
Kate
Hi Gwen,
Thank-you for sharing your good news story with all.
Alice
Gwen -
Thank you for sharing your story.
My story is similar in that when I first told my wife she was upset and we slept in separate rooms for a few days. She did come around to accept me dressing as something I could do when she wasn't home. She gave me some of her clothes that she no longer wore which I appreciated. As time went on and after many discussions we are a point where she will invite Suzanne to spend the day, we go for mani-pedi's together (she helps me pick the color for my toes) as well as shopping together.
I hope your journey continues in a positive way. Enjoy and remember to give her a gift (flowers work wonders) along the way.
XOXO
Suzanne
A lovely account Gwen - so glad it all worked out for you. My wife went through a period of adjustment too. Things were tense for a while but gradually improved. Now she is not only accepting but participatory up to a point.We now realize that in our 40+ years together we have had any number of challenges and rough spots, but my crossdressing has proved not to be one of them. I hope the same for you.
Kris
What a great story. It just goes to show that although something can be a shock at first, when you think about it there’s usually an upside to the situation. Your wife giving you her discards made me smile. And so quickly too. Saved her a trip to the thrift shops!
Bottom line is that when you do a deep dive into crossdressing anyone has to conclude its pretty darn harmless. The pros outweigh the cons by far.
GP
The only real problem with crossdressing is most people do not understand it, and we fear what we don't understand. Once most people become educated about it, it ceases to be a major issue.
Here I am only talking about dressing, not the broader issue of transitioning, which is an issue for some, but certainly not all crossdressers. As my wife puts it, "They are just clothes." One of the biggest issues always seems to be the "bible". I believe there are exactly two brief, and very tangential mentions, and yet it has been built into this major issue. The bible also says not to eat pork, and yet many religious people do. I do not mention this to make this a religious discussion, which is not allowed, but only to point out where a major misinfomation about dressing comes from. We simply need to let the world know that dressing is not a moral issue and that it is just a way of expression and inner peace. Once people are informed about such things the easier it is to accept.
Gwen,
First of all, thank you for sharing that lovely story. Just take it slow and keep the lines of communication open and you should be fine.
Secondly, welcome to CDH. You will find it a very welcoming and supportive place so enjoy your time here.
Fiona
A lovely story Gwen. There are so many reasons why we dress but it's when the need comes back what will happen. Your tale is an honest way to do this and then have that moment of reckoning then a show of acceptance. Of course this is early days and there maybe more conversations but at least it has started well.
I hope it continues so that it becomes the new normal to strengthen your bond and new horizons together.