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I ask myself if I am a real CD. I started young, around 8 or 9. Off and on thru high school then the Navy. Got married and with all her things laying around. I started to really get into it. But I never put on a wig or did makeup as you all seem to do. I played with heels, bras, panties, skirts, dresses, nylons and garter belts. Enjoying it all. Even going out driving around dressed that way. But never completely. My wife found out and accepted my dressing to a point. No makeup or wig and not letting anyone else know. She even brought me my first pair of heels and bra. She would give me her hand me downs of panties and skirts. I always wanted to dress completely but did not want to rock the boat. She has said she does not mind if I meet others and go to any meeting I can find. No luck doing that yet. I would love to go out dressed but where can you go dressed as a man in a dress? No makeup or wig. Am I really a crossdresser or just a man in a dress?
Hi, Paula.
I thought about replying with an apposite quotation from Sartre. Or beginning with a flippant but witty response but how could I improve on Diana's @dianas1960 advice?
We all are at different levels in our dressing. I would say that a man that just likes to wear panties is a cross-dresser. There are fortunately no rules. You can be whoever you want to be. Just enjoy and try not to get to wrapped up on labels.
There's your perfect answer, Paula. "Just enjoy"
Allie x
I ask myself if I am a real CD.
...
Am I really a crossdresser or just a man in a dress?
Does it matter?
Crossdressers are not a monotone mass all looking the same. Case in point? I don't wear wigs or make-up, dresses or heels in public. My face looks masculine with short hair and a moustache. What can I say? When at home and I wear dresses and skirts, yes, I am a man in a dress. It is what it is.
However, I crossdress 100% in women's clothes every day, even when abroad. Yes, I compromise.
@liketo00 We come in all varieties. Some prefer one simple piece of female clothing while others like myself always dress fully. We are all crossdressers by definition.
Labels are simply a way to identify things. It's part of language. Don't stress yourself over whether you are this or that because you aren't exactly like someone else. Be yourself.
@liketo00 the simple answer, I think, is yes.
We all started as a guy in a dress and progressed to different levels. I have had times in my when I could fully transform into Joan. At other times be just John in a frock. Always I’ve loved the experience. 
My dressing journey like many others. Came in stages. Under dressing, then a dress. Wig,makeup, shoes and accessories. Each step led to bolder steps.
Going out dressed. Led to goring to events and meeting other CD/Trans girls.
For me it full feminine. Then I feel my girly best!
As others point out CDing is not a one size fits all. Different expressions and experiences etc.
I hope you find that happy place, and can enjoy being yourself with others.
Fran 🥰
@liketo00 - I wouldn't worry about the label - sounds like you've figured out you're a man though. You just do what you like. There will be a few raised eyebrows but you're not hurting anyone.
@liketo00 You have the backing (sort of ) from your wife so you have advantage on a lot of us. I have no backing or worse if she found out, but I always go full make up and all when I can dress. You are one of us. I spoke to someone recently and she described us as the trans community. I had never thought of myself as that, but actually I suppose I am.
Hi Paula. Not sure why your wife is against the makeup and the wig. (Maybe she's worried about expenses? The really good stuff for either is not cheap.) It sounds to me like you're out in front of her (I'm not there yet at all), and as a condition she sets the rules.
In any case, we're not one big monolithic bunch, and nobody will officially label you as a CDer. If you're happy with expressing this side of you through dressing in any way, then.. congratulations, you're one of us!
(One of us, one of us, gaba gaba...)
@shannonhyde interesting comment about makeup and wigs. My wife is exactly the same, everything else is okay but the final transformation is a no no unless we are going to a fancy dress party and I’m going as Joan. Pity that doesn’t happen often enough.
We all are at different levels in our dressing. I would say that a man that just likes to wear panties is a cross-dresser. There are fortunately no rules. You can be whoever you want to be. Just enjoy and try not to get to wrapped up on labels.
Yes to both, if A) you are a man, and B) you wear some type of women's clothes.
Hi Paula!
Thank you for sharing your story.
I just want to say: don’t worry too much about categorizing yourself. You don’t need to fit into a specific box to be valid or real.
If dressing brings you joy, comfort, or a sense of you, then that’s enough. Crossdressing doesn’t have to look a certain way or follow a checklist. There’s no requirement for wigs or makeup unless you want them. Everyone’s expression is different, and beautiful in its own way.
It sounds like you’ve already come so far, and it’s clear that this is a meaningful part of who you are. So just be yourself, however that looks today or tomorrow.
Mia
But I never put on a wig or did makeup as you all seem to do.
HI Paula. I have been cross dressing for 65 years, and while I went through a period in the 80's when I shaved my face and wore a wig and make up, I didn't do that again until a little over a year ago. I always thought of myself as a cross dresser during that entire time.
I figure nobody on this site is going to get in my face whether I am a cross dresser or a man in a dress. No point in me worrying about it.
Jules
We don't follow any rules. Diversity is beautiful.
The only thing that matters is how you feel about the way you dress. Passing is overrated. If you feel good, it's OK. Labels barely serve as a limited reference. I don't talk much about crossdressing anymore. One moment I'm dressed as a woman, the next moment I'm dressed as a man. Only to dress as a woman again later. I am simply who I am. That's how I love myself, and that's how I'm happy. Nothing else matters.
Gisela
From all of the other responses to your question, there isn't much I can add - except to say "however it is that you see yourself - we love 'ya!
XO Shawna
Hello Paula. If there was a box to put all crossdressers in , it would need many different compartments to fit us all in… so let’s just tear down the box and be us. I’m not passable , no wigs, but I love to dress. Underdressing brings me great joy and relieves stress I find. So I’m going to just keep on being me, and you should be you!
If you’re a male who loves women’s clothes then you’re a Crossdresser… whether you look like a man in a dress or can pass as the real thing, we all share the same passion
When I wake up I'm Colette , when I have my first blast of espresso and I sit cross legged at the table I'm Colette when I get dressed , in drab or en femme I'm Colette . When I worked I was Colette. It was and is always more than me wearing a dress . I know who I am and as Natalie has said it's a passion. I suppose if we have one of those rate your crossdressing charts from one ( putting on clothes and that's it) to 10 (clothes are the expression of the feminine me) I would be 10. Sorry to be simplistic about it!
@collettexx Simplicity has its own complexity, Colette. You've spoken a profound truth. Regardless of how I'm dressed, I'll be Gisela as long as I breathe. That's undeniable.
Gisela
You are somebody that dresses differently to other men. Some men have different hobbies than other men. To avoid confusion and to clarify the thing they are doing names were applied so crossdressing became what those who wear womens clothes is crossdressing as the general term. There are other terms such as the other you suggest so you label yourself as you wish and just enjoy it.
Paula, I consider myself a crossdresser. I am married to a wonderful semi accepting gal and we have agreed to “limits” when it comes to cross dressing. Basically no wig or makeup.
I’m OK with that, have longer hair and lots of gals go without makeup.
Some would say that I am just a guy in a dress and that’s fine with me.
I just enjoy the dressing experience and go with it.
Follow your heart. Staci
Paula,
To be simple, you are you. I say be proud to be you.
I do understand from where you are coming. As part of my journey, I tried wearing a wig and makeup. I thought it was something that waa required. However, it never felt right to me. While I do see an allure for makeup, the wig always made me feel like I was hiding who I was. It was only after I threw away the wig and just embraced being me that I felt like I was moving forward.
Today, I dress as I please whether that be in masculine or feminine attire. And usually that is more feminine attire than masculine attire. I love who I am, and I do not hide it. There is little doubt that I am a man. My hair is military short and I sport a neatly trimmed goatee and mustache. I will only sparingly use makeup aside from nail polish, and then only on the rare occasion that I am clean shaven. I think that makeup just clashes with my facial hair. That, however, does not stop me from openly dressing how I wish. I will frequently conduct my business, both personal and professional, wearing feminine attire. In the summer months, I am probably wearing dress or skirt more often than anything else.
I hope this helps in your journey. You are not alone. Feel free to reach out if you want more detail or have any questions.
MacKenzie Alexandra
