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Made my second trip out last night! And unlike last time, I *gasp* left the safety of my car.
I had supper at my apartment, then started the makeup process. It’s getting a little faster each time. Honestly, I don’t know how I ever did it without my lighted closeup mirror. Then, I got dressed in my casual outfit, accessorized, and grabbed my purse, which I was using for the first time.
I had another gut check moment at the door, but it was less intense this time. I opened the door and walked to my car. Last time, it was cold so I used the hood on my jacket to conceal myself a little. This time, it was 75 degrees, so there was no hiding.
I drove around for a little bit, enjoying the classic rock on the radio (fingers always crossed for AC/DC) . I needed a couple of things from the store, and I had decided that I wanted to try a short shopping trip. It was about 10pm by this time, so it seemed a little less daunting.
I parked the car, and faced another gut check. This one was more significant, but after a few minutes of back and forth with myself, I put my purse over my shoulder, stepped out of the car, and headed inside. I tried to balance looking natural with the nerves and rush of adrenaline. I was able to find a balance and walked to the back of the store to get what I needed. I was very aware of the people around me, probably much more so than they were of me. After a few minutes, I felt fairly comfortable and just enjoyed the experience. I used the self checkout and thanked the greeter as I left. As I walked out, I saw my reflection in the sliding glass doors. What a feeling to see myself out in the world! I made it back to the car and drove home with a big smile.
Something I hadn't expected was how much more feminine I felt using the purse. Unzipping it and getting my debit card to pay and car keys to unlock the doors really added another dimension to dressing. It may not be a big thing, but it surprised me in such a good way!
Positives: This was quite, quite wonderful and I enjoyed every second of it. Go you! 🙂
Negatives: I now have a desperate yearning for a purse and a lighted close-up mirror 🙁
Thank you so much for posting this.
Hugs
Ellie x
On this side of the pond I think 'purse' translates as 'handbag'.
Something fairly sizeable, anyway! 🙂
@ellyd22 It's good they don't name handbags for what you're supposed to keep in there
This is wonderful Kendra.
So much of what your written struck a chord with me, from the familiar gut check while still in the car, and the feeling of growing comfort, to the feminine feeling of using a purse. or handbag as we call them over here.
Well done you.
The genie is definitely out of the bottle now, or the car in this case, and it won’t want to go back in again.
Lovely photo by the way
Lucy x
@kendrawhite Congratulations, that's another milestone ticked off! Looking at your pictures though, I'm not surprised no one noticed you. If only we could all pass that well.
A wonderful experience you'll never forget! I bet you can't wait for the next time. Whenever it comes, I feel certain you'll do just a little bit more! I wonder what that will be...
I'm right with you on the purse, it makes such a difference. Even just remembering you've got one can be tricky.The first time I went out with one, I almost left it behind on the table as I was leaving the pub!
@jacquelinelarkspur I kept it on me at the store, but I'll have to remember to remember it on future outings.
Well done, Fiona!
Something I hadn't expected was how much more feminine I felt using the purse. Unzipping it and getting my debit card to pay and car keys to unlock the doors really added another dimension to dressing. It may not be a big thing, but it surprised me in such a good way!
Although I have something like a woman's clutch/wallet, I opted for a slightly larger crossbody bag, in a neutral gray, than what I have used over the last five years. It just wasn't big enough anymore.
Nowadays, I need to carry one or two reusable shopping / carry bags, so I use a bag to carry these bags and everything that would normally be in my drab pockets - wallet, phone, coin purse, medication if necessary, and so on. A "purse" isn't going to cut it in everyday living, now.
@harriette I'm fairly basic when it comes to things I carry with me, but I know that purses tend to attract and retain all sorts of things. My ex used to have anything a person could need in hers!
Hey Kendra, what a fabulous experience. You go girl! I agree about the purse. I've got my eye on one for my rare opportunity to dress next month xx.
This post made me smile - I recognise every little thing that you mentioned, Kendra 🙂 Well done girl, and I hope it's not long before you get the chance to do it again, and more!
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
OMG I wish I looked that good I would never worry about going out, you go girl. Lacy
I wish we could give out certificates for girls who finally get out. So proud of you Kendra.
Kendra, I am so proud of you.
One of the big takeaways I got from your post is that you found it easier to go out the second time. See the trend? It really does get easier and easier and easier each time you do it. A little bit of nervousness will probably always be there. But each time you go out, the fear factor decreases and the fun factor increases.
As for having a purse. I’ve been out in public many times, and I always have my purse with me. It contains my money, my keys, my phone, and some makeup for occasional touchups. I can’t conceive of going out without it.
I could relate to every detail you laid out Kendra. Isnt it a wonderful thrill when you arrive home. And yes a purse is so essential. Dont know how I functioned as a male without one now
Congratulations. I love reading stories like this . Very relatable and encouraging. 😀
Well done Kendra!
Alice
