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Hi everyone,
So, I've only recently had a sort of reawakening of those CD feelings after a couple decades of dormancy. I started my reawakening by joining CDH (which has been wonderful so far), but today I took some first cautious baby steps.
I think this will be a familiar story for a lot of the ladies, but it was an exciting first for me. I went out today and bought panties! I have some rules for myself regarding CDing and one of them is that I WILL NOT use my wife's things. So, if I'm going to explore my feminine side, I will need my own stuff.
While my wife was out at work and my kid was at a play-date, I took the chance to visit the local Target (snazzy, right?). I knew in my head that no one care's who's shopping for what, but it took some time for me to work up the bravery to visit the intimates section. I had done a little homework, so I knew what sizes to shoot for. Once I had gathered the courage to venture into the feminine undergarmets section, I scanned the offerings and settled on a pack of hipster briefs. To be honest, the fact that they claimed to help with muffin-tops was also a plus.
I briefly scanned over the bras, but I couldn't bring myself to reach out and start inspecting tags. I made my way to the registers (hooray for self-checkout) and made my purchase.
As I headed back to my car, I felt giddy about my purchase, but something stuck in the back of my mind. What if the size wasn't quite right? And can I really be satisfied with just a set of panties? It only took a few moments before I decided to hit the nearby Walmart for a second purchase; I couldn't bring myself to go back immediately to the same store because I'm silly that way.
Anyway, feeling a little (but only a little) more bold, I went to the Walmart underwear section. I picked up a pack of high-cut Hanes briefs and pondered the bra situation. Fit was always going to be an issue, but I ran across something that felt right: the sports bra section. Stretchy nylon can do a lot to compensate for bad measurements. My eyes quickly landed on a cute Avia sports bra with a zip front. I knew what I was going to get.
A quick trip through self-checkout and I was back at my car with my spoils.
Back at home, I quickly unpackaged my purchases and laid them out in front of the mirror. I took a shower in preparation for trying on my new undies. While I showered, I shaved places I thought I could get away with. As I'm quite closeted and my family doesn't know, I'm still a bit limited in what parts of my body I think I can shave without causing too much suspicion. Since I have sparse chest hair, I've been making a point of shaving my chest (and nipples; what the heck is with nipple hair?) because it looks scraggly and weird. Also, I shave (not necessarily completely, but at least reducing the amount of hair in) my armpits. The official reason is odor-prevention. Finally, I shaved between my cheeks because who's checking (but me!)
So, after a shower and shave, I tried on my new goodies in front of the mirror. On an absolute scale, I probably looked ridiculous, but I felt great! I couldn't take my eyes off myself as I posed and tried various poses and panties. I even took some pictures that I quietly squirreled away (I'm not ready to share yet.) I have to say I loved it and I still feel a little tingly writing about it now. It's kind of like feeling the vibrations of a little bell I rang inside myself.
That was a lot of words to describe an event that's probably pretty mundane, but if you made it all the way to the end of this, thank you for reading. I'm happy to be here on CDH.
Hearts,
Lisa
There’s nothing mundane about the journey of discovering the woman inside you. Baby steps are the best way to go. Well done you!
Wise move about not wearing your wife's clothes. That will surely pay dividends when or if you have "the talk".
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I think that's a great point!
After all, who am I doing this for? Myself, of course!
BTW Target seems very accepting of the LGBQT-community, remember a few years back they established a policy that patrons can use the bathroom for the gender with which they most closely identify.
I was so excited when I began buying my own pantyhose. Then I decided I needed nicer and shorter shorts to wear with my pantyhose. I was so excited to purchase and wear short girl's shorts. But I had to have better shoes. It was so exciting buying and wearing my first platform wedges.
And the excitement went on. My short dresses and skirts, my bras, my panties, my matching bra and panty sets, my sexy stilettos, my wigs and makeup. It was so great adding these items to my dressing.
I started wearing pantyhose with pumps and a shirt that looked like a short dress at 4. At 18 I was dressing fully fem and going out partying with other CD's and admirers. I went a long way with a bunch of baby steps along the way over a lot of years.
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^^^This. Baby steps mean many things:
- positive forward movement
- gaining confidence even if just for those first few moments
- getting experience being you
- steps that make the ground underneath your feet more solid
Where does it take you from here? Breathe first. Take in the moment you just cleared and recognize that sometimes we don't need the whole map drawn for us. What you did was huge and that's not telling you what you need to hear ... each step - is a step towards something. Way to go!
Hello Lisa; Thank you for sharing your story and welcome back to the fem world. Buying new panties is always a thrill, especially if you haven't got any in a while(decades according to you). Nothing wrong with shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. Their prices are cheaper and their self check-out is a plus. Those stores are where I started panty and bra shopping. Even though I've expanded my shopping options, I still check every so often for anything I might like.