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Morning ladies,
Over the years we have all gone through many emotions about our desire to wear clothes that are seen as “ woman’s”. Are they really woman’s clothes? Who ever got the job to say what was for men and women? What started as I wonder what those would feel like to wear. I wonder why I want to try on those cute panties . Why do I love the way these pantyhose feel on me. Is it the fact that we like the look of them on women? Is that the fact the materials are soft and colourful compared to what mom put out for us to wear. Then over time we find ourselves wanting to try more items on. My out on some lipstick only to wipe it right off. The next thing you know you’re wearing it all. Panties, a stuffed bra, pantyhose , a slip and maybe a dress or skirt and top. We start to collect more and more things to wear when alone and then the guilt and shame kicks in. How many of us said to themselves “ I’m never going to dress like this again.” I must be weird, I must be the only boy doing this. Purge time comes and it all goes out to the trash. Only to find that the urge to do so comes back with an even stronger desire to do it . Do I want to be a woman, I’m a gay , why do I like doing this and so drawn to wear woman’s clothes. I’m a man but I love wearing these items and acting like a woman. I know myself I always enjoyed seeing a woman dressed nice. Pantyhose , heels , dresses and skirts. Is it the fact I like seeing a well dressed woman because of the look or rather because I want to be wearing them. Do I start wearing them because I don’t get to see it enough so I resort to wearing them myself ? Is it the fact that I love the way I feel when I’m wearing them? Always so many questions going through our heads. Then you take the step towards dressing fully as a woman many times and start to need/ want more. Maybe I’ll sneak out to the car and go for a drive. Then the next few times maybe I’ll park and get out and go for a walk. Maybe I’ll just go into the store to grab something quick. Maybe I’ll go to a drive thru and grab a coffee. Next thing you know your out shopping, trying on clothes and shoes. Having lunch at a restaurant. Growing each and everyday as the woman inside you and starting to not worry what others may think. Then comes another “ maybe I should stop “ What if someone I know sees me?
I have gone through asking myself do I want to be a woman for real? Do I just love the clothes? Now at my age and after years of loving every minute of my feminine side and having lots of ups and downs about it I really sat down to think about it. Yes I’m one of the luckier girls who has a wife/ SO who took it pretty well when I originally came out to her and has grown with me on my journey with seeing things different then from the start. Never wanting me to leave the house to now encouraging me to go out , meet other girls, go shopping while fully dressed. I’ve been out fully dressed many times now and do enjoy it a lot. In saying that I’ve mentioned in posts and replies to others that I now dress in my skinny jeans/ jeggings, women’s tops, at first light makeup which has now become pretty much full makeup , a nice perfume, woman’s shoes and boots while I’m still presenting as a man ( no wig or forms) . I really enjoy this as it just feels like I’m supposed to be wearing these clothes and such. Do I want to be a woman or do I just enjoy dressing like one. Or is it a matter of if I’m wearing them , they are my clothes and not looked as woman’s. I’m not sure why I feel so confident with no worry of seeing someone I know just cause I’m not in a wig and breastforms. But still looking feminine and smelling pretty. This is me and it took many years of emotional struggles to get here but still wondering …. Do I want to be a woman or just happy dressing Iike one. Love to hear what others think about this being a woman or just dressing like one.
I don't think it's been a desire "to wear clothes seen as women's" for me. It's always that I've wanted to be seen as a woman. I envied the young girls my age for all the pretty clothes they wore and how they looked and acted. More so when puberty hit and all the girls began to develop and I didn't (not that way).
The questions were there. Why me? Why do this? Why do I feel this way? The questions are still there but seem less important now. I'm still on the fence as to am I this or that. Not sure I will ever be able to answer that, but it's never been just about the clothes.
Ashley that was a thoughtful posting.
In a perfect world i would transition ( even though soon to be 70 yrs old)
Each day my feminine urges increase but family has to come first.
Maybe in the next life?
I’ve been on and off cross dressing mostly because I felt guilty, I’m confused don’t know if I’m embarrassing the idea of being gay or if I should transition and risk to lose everything:(
This is definitely a question I have asked myself time and again and I am still not completely sure of the answer. I do fully believe it is more than just the clothes, but I am not sure how much more. When I go out dressed up, I want to be seen and treated as a woman but I suppose there is a possibility that is more to justify the clothes. I think a lot of my more recent thoughts and feelings do push me towards the wanting to be a woman, at least some of the time, than it is about the clothes though.
It is important to me that I feel "right" as Natalie but I also feel "right" in boy mode. Neither is wrong and the female clothes coupled with the female presentation are right to me.
There is another interesting thought I have had: would it feel right to go out in boy mode but dressed in a skirt or dress? Right now, that answer is no. However, on the other side of things, would it feel right to go out in sweats and a hoodie in girl mode? And to this I think the answer is yes. Which leads me to believe that this is more than just the clothes for me.
Absolute lovely post thanks for sharing as myself I’m just a closet dresser that enjoys transitioning into a women for awhile to then take it off and be my normal self some have desire to be 24/7 and I give them lots of credit that’s truly amazing to be honest with yourself and enjoy life as your fullest indeed maybe one day I will adventure out till then I just enjoy the time in the closet where no judgement follows
Thanks for sharing these thoughts! I think that this topic is a core issue of what cross dressing and transgender is all about.
Some say “clothes make the man” but it’s really what inside that counts. clothing in a sense is an outward expression of an inner feeling (with the added benefit of shielding us from the elements!).
So we can say I suppose “clothes make the woman” but being female is a lot more than just a skirt and heels. for me, when I dress up female I feel different, even though in my case it’s the same person. But a key is that we all may feel differently when doing it. And that is just fine!
A younger me just liked the idea of women’s clothes. As many of you expressed, there was a natural draw to feminine clothing. Loved the pretty looks, the colors, the feel - you name it.
but over time that grew to wanting to be a woman (at least temporarily). Im ok doing this part time. Others may only do it at home. And others want to do it permanently.
regardless we are all sisters.
Since I first came to the realisation that the desire to dress as a female was going to be part of my life I have struggled with what it is that I want. Once I got over the self-loathing and confusion of youth, only fleetingly did I ever consider that I might want to actually be a woman.
I derive pleasure and comfort from dressing in the clothing and creating the feminine version of myself, and whilst I would love a pair of boobs of my own (and a bit of work on the face wouldn't go amiss!), I have no desire to fully transition. Obviously it has become more than just dressing up for sexual gratification, though it is still undeniably an absolute buzz. I still feel the 'electricity' when I dress, but it has become - largely through being out to my SO - a way of life; I dress all day, most days, enjoying the feeling of being dressed in a way I have always dreamt of, with a person I love and who loves me unreservedly.
I do refer to myself a s a 'she' when I am dressed and like being referred to in feminine terms just as I do my best to appear as 'girly' as is physically possible, but I don't consider myself to be a woman.
I dress and live full time because it is the way I can live life as the real me.
I want to be a woman. I had exactly that clear realisation last July, which is why I decided to stay living as Fiona. I didn't really understand until then, why I was dressing - only that I was greatly enjoying it, and it didn't feel at all wrong.
While I wasn't knowingly uncomfortable in my male self, and I'd never previously felt like I should have been born a girl, I realise now that I've actually felt more closely aligned with femininity for some time. I'm so much happier in myself like this.
I also know that I'll never actually be a physical woman, whatever my future might or might not hold in terms of surgery or hormones. Where the balance lies, remains to be seen 🙂
so many great insights, thank you all. Like many, for me too, I finally figured out I wanted to feel like a woman. Part of me wishes I was born as one. Once i completed my look, being in a sexy dress, jewelry, wig, panties, painted toenails and put on a pair of sexy, hot heels I felt my feminism running through my whole being. It felt so right, and I felt more sexy than I ever had in my life. Sometimes it feels like I am 2 people, but I can't say no to the fem part, and feel truly free, sexy and natural, when dressed. I fought it for years, denying it mentally, shoving it deep down. But, once we accept it, it can be SO SO liberating. Luv you all! - tammi