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Been a while since I had a visit from Jillian. For some strange reason though last night, she decided to visit. Now I usually, for a quiet life have to wait until my OH goes away for a couple of days or whatnot. Today was different, I was at work and thinking of her ( as sometimes do) and thought after reading to all of the helpful and encouraging stories on this site - started wondering what it would be like to “get past the front door and into the world”. I have never given it much thought as being 6ft.2 thought I would stand out like a sore thumb and surmised that it would take a careful amount of planning and courage. Here’s to the spur of the moment - carpe diem !
My OH went to bed at 8pm and seeing as I had just had a "super shave” (all over body and face) thought it might be nice to be Jillian for the night but still did not plan to go outside. So after putting on my underwear, stockings and a nice chiffon dress, surprised myself of how quickly I did my makeup. so I was painted, dressed and ready for 8.40. I went downstairs and thought “ Right, I am going out and take advantage of my situation”. It was dark and dry so I decided to go for a walk to the supermarket which was around 1 and half miles away.
Stepped out into the front drive, handbag on shoulder fully dressed (wow) - nervously looked both ways and there was no one around. Now is the time! Started walking and paying close attention to my shadow as to perfect the feminine walk. The breeze up my skirt and every so often, the glisten of my stockings gave me a rush of euphoria that I have never had before. Carried on walking and gaining more confident on every step found that I was loving this feeling.
I walked the long way around through streets and on one of them I saw 3 young girls on the same side as me. Do I cross over? or be a brave girl?
Stayed on the same side and they passed close to me and I was surprised that their conversation between themselves never paused or did not hear the ubiquitous giggle that I was expecting. Carried on and passed a few people and even got a “evening love” from a male dog walker.
I am feeling in a Zen state of happiness - no worries of life or angst, just sweet Jillian looking after me and showing me that everything is alright after all.
Get to the supermarket, quite busy for a Thursday night but then remembering that Easter is around the corner so everyone panic buying (slight exaggeration but you know what I mean). No drama, made eye contact with many folk and not once did I see any of them do their own rendition of Edvard Munch’s Scream painting.
Smiled at a few and had the same reciprocated. The crowning moment was when I was stood near a middle aged couple and as I walked away, heard the lady say “ she was tall but I like her coat”.
Walking home was like a haze, I was in such a relaxed and happy state that I have never felt before. I was sorry to get home really and was not frightened at all and in hindsight, realised I take my presence on this planet far too seriously! - It has taken me 59 years to get myself out and so glad I did and feel accomplished and validated.
I have put some picture in my gallery of how happy I looked when I got home.
Will go out again soon and hope that I never tire of it but would never have done anything like this without all of your support - Thanks x
Love Jillian xx
Thanks Lovely - I can recommend it and as i wrote - we take ourselves far too seriously in this world. Just be you - who cares?
Jillian, I'm so pleased to read this! It really rings with me because I was right there too, only a couple of short months ago. The world is now your oyster, you can go wherever you please en femme - as you wrote, just be you! Massive hugs - well done girl 🤗
Fiona xxx
Nice to hear about your evening adventure Jillian. Thanks for taking the time to write about it, it's makes for a great read. Glad it appears to have had such a positive affect with you're confidence.
Hope that the outside world get to see Jillian again soon.
Emily
Hi Jillian,
That’s an amazing story, so pleased you made it out of the door - you’ll Definately want to do it again!
It’s nice to hear such stories from a fellow UK member. I can relate to the feelings you had. Stepping out of the door is the hardest part, so we’ll done!
I’ve only done it a few times at home (in daylight too - eek!!) for fear of being seen by the neighbours, but I was careful and don’t think I was spotted! Most of my adventures out have been when travelling away from home, or out of season when at our holiday home in Wales, which I get chance a couple of times per year and venture out if I can!
I agree it’s such an exhilarating feeling, nothing quite like that rush… be warned though, it is addictive! 😉
Well done though!
hugs
Jenny x
I have to repeat what others have already said in that without this site and the lovely, supportive people on it, cross dressing for me would be a tiny part of my life that took place only in the safety of my own home, but since being here, I have increased my wardrobe, learned makeup, and got the courage to go out in public.
Jillian, you have joined the ranks of the 'ladies who go 'out'', you will now do it again and again.
Becca
xx
Marvelous, exciting, admirable and enchanting account of you breaking down the door, followed by a 1 1/2 walk x two as Jillian! Bully for you Miss Welsh 💐(USA me received that kudos a few weeks ago. Hadn't heard "bully for you" in a l o n g time)
Congratulations, Jillian! A huge step! I love hearing these kinds of stories, and I found that once I went out dressed the more I wanted. Very happy for you!
Congratulations Jillian! I am so happy for you. You look so pretty in your photos. Now that you've got the first one out of the way I can guarantee that you will want to do it on a regular basis. There's no feeling quite like walking around in public presenting as a female, it's wonderful.
Well done Jillian. It is so heartening to read that being among others here has encouraged you to 'break the seal'. Would you have done it sooner, as we all would say but the stars were aligned and you shone through - the time was right. Lovely story and thank you for sharing.
I always consider Jillian as a shy person who is tall and therefore never considered going out with 5 inch heels ( her favourite) as she is 6.2 and would look like an Empire State Human
Just as long as the monkey off your back doesn't start climbing up to the top carrying Fay Wray. 😀
Congratulations on your outing. You do realize that there's no way to "get the genie back in the bottle."
Jillian -
Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on your night out. It is wonderful to hear such stories and I agree that yours and others like it are an inspiration to us all. I am hoping for a similar experience at some point - when I don't know but it will happen some day. Hope you get to enjoy more experiences in the future.
XOXO
Suzanne
I am so happy you enjoyed your evening out. The first time is always the hardest, but now that you know it is possible it just gets easier. It is all about attitude. If you own it others will as well. Don't worry about passing, just dress and do make up to what level you choose and let society deal with their own attitudes.
Congratulations Jillian! Often, we are most fearful of ourselves. Hope your next opportunity arrives soon.
Alice