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Hello,
It has been several months since I've posted something. Between travel, family and other commitments, and some drama, I've been both metaphorically closeted and literally have my things stowed in a closet at this time. There has been no room for "me" time due to fairly limited privacy. I haven't been able to shave my body for weeks / months and feel gross. I miss painted nails and lipstick. I feel stressed and want to dress; I'm not sure if the urge to dress is greater when I'm stressed, or if I'm stressed because I can't dress right now. Sorry for rant, but this is my one outlet where I feel safe sharing my thoughts, and some of you may be dealing with the same frustrations. Hopefully this too shall pass. Thanks for understanding
@cassiesccd Definitely for me its the cure for stress. there is very little that completely relaxes me and it takes very little to get the stress and anxiety going again after many days of relaxing in a beautiful place I can finally start to be calm. but with river Its gone immediately. all stress and anxiety gone in a matter of minutes once im all dressed up. so hard to describe and so nice to know everyone here gets it 
RC
@cassiesccd I can totally understand. I am in the process of trying to sell my house so all my clothes are packed away. It’s difficult as my wife and I live in a small town and are well known so, even if dressed, I cannot go out here. Not many out of town trips these days. But I survive. When we move, it will be to a major metropolitan area and Steffie May get out again!❤️
@cassiesccd for me I think it is a bit of both. The proverbial snowball effect.
1. Life stress
2. No Trisha time= more stress
Repeat 1 then 2 ..........
Now ironically since Keystone I really have not had any serious drive for Trisha time. It was my 1st time there and it was amazing. The interaction with so many like me was so nice. Now I must say alot of my attire is fem ish. Jeans unders socks are a daily.
I do hope you get your me time soon.
Trisha
I feel for you, Cassandra. I haven't been closeted, but I've let my body hair get out of control, for a while, too, because of time constraints and not wanting to annoy my wife. Gross is right.
In spite of that, because of the way that I dress, I have been able to maintain the same amount of dressing as normal, though.
Yesterday, I wandered through a big mall that has a bunch of stores with end of season sales going on and went into a real Clarks store with a twofer deal. In their clearance section, I thoroughly searched for large sizes and was surprised to find three size 12 wide pairs. They were all comfortable enough to settle on two of them.
I couldn't help myself and took advantage of an opportunity to keep doing things to make my dressing better. Maybe you will get similar opportunities during your temporary drought. 🥰
Casandra -
Sorry to hear about your situation, hopefully it will resolve soon.
I am limited as to my opportunities to dress but do try to maintain my femme self. I keep myself shave from the neck down all the time with the exception of my legs. My legs I keep the upper part of my thighs shaved all year the lower thigh and calf area I let grow out during short season as to avoid questions and not embarrass my wife (she is okay with my dressing but has concerns about comments from others - I respect her wishes when it comes to dressing). The same with color on my toes - in the winter I wear color but during sandal season I don't. My fingers I wear a clear with a pink tinge which she is okay with and nothing has ever been said. My ears are pierced and I wear earrings 24/7. Most of the time it is studs or small hoops but when at home I will wear my dangling ones which I prefer (very femme having earrings bouncing on your neck).
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue I wear shorts most of the year. I've had a couple of people who have clearly spotted that I have shaved legs. I have never heard anyone comment on it. I run and I do have a glance round at the start of a race. There seem to be plenty of guys with smooth legs
Anna x
Casandra, you have my sympathy and understanding. My opportunities to dress are almost non-existent (I think once in 36 years counts as rare). I don't feel stressed by my situation as I'm a very laid back character but I do find it incredibly frustrating, and think about it constantly. To compensate I've had two makeovers relatively recently which were just delicious.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
My opportunities to dress are almost non-existent (I think once in 36 years counts as rare).
Survey says? Yup, I agree.
Chrissie, I don't know your circumstances, so I could be offering impossible advice. Finding space to have some makeovers is great, but I honestly think you still deserve and should insist on some more 'me time' in your life.
eM x
@emmat Emma, thanks for your support. I definitely deserve some Chrissie time. Look, I've told my story here a few times. Dabbled for a couple of years in my early twenties. Then got married and purged everything. 35 years without dressing. It was always on my mind but I've had a good marriage, two gorgeous daughters. I wouldn't say it has blighted my life but then again it never went away. Then in June 2023 the family went abroad for 10 days and I bought a couple of outfits, wig, heels, jewellery, makeup, the whole works and spent a week en femme. Then purged the lot before they came home. Had my first makeover too.
Then May just gone the family went away again and I had great plans but life got in the way. Still made it to my second makeover. I don't know where to go from here. A quick fumbled couple of hours wouldn't do it for me. And the missus would definitely find my stash if I had one. Coming out would be instant divorce and I'm not prepared to put my daughters and wider family through that. Maybe I can store some girly stuff off site and the occasional opportunity may present itself. Incredibly frustrating. You've hit a raw nerve Emma. Would so love just a bit of girly Chrissie time 😢.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Hi, Cassandra.
I, too, feel for you. Although I'm free to dress as I please most of the time, summertime, big windows and visibility from outside notwithstanding, there have been times when I've felt the same way. I've long held the belief that being dressed in the clothes I love does de-stress me and, while I don't feel stressed when, for one reason or another, I can't dress nicely, I do get a bit "antsy"!
You are correct though, there's no better place to unload than here among your understanding sisters. Feel free to do that as much as you need😊.
And, of course, you are also right when you say that this too shall pass. With some haste, I hope.
Allie x
I find that the little, stealth ways of dressing help when I do not get to dress more fully. I am often traveling to visit family and don't dress to any great extent, but I always have a few little things to keep.me happy. I wear only panties even around others where I might be seen, like backcountry ski trips where we are in a yurt or cabin, I just switch to plain and simply panties and leave the lace at home.
I often wear a bra, and I can do that anytime I choose, and I.almost always have a clear, or a very light pink nail polish on. I also women's jean if I wear long pants, but I am mostly in shorts thanks to wear I live. Most important of all, I have a.mostly hair feee body no matter where I.am or who I am with. I haven't had hairy legs for 30+ years. I have since removed chest and underarm hair and nobody notices or cares
@jjandme My (young adult) son who knows nothing about this side of me, said to me a few years ago about someone he had met "he shaves his legs, its weird". I suggested that may be the guy he had met was a cyclist and that a lot of guys at the gym shaved their bodies but he wasn't persuaded, he still thought it was weird.
I also know that I notice men with shaved legs so I'm always a bit frustrated at this time of year because I know I will want to wear shorts and just need some leg hair. I compromise with "thinning out" the hair, leaving enough to not stand out but removing enough that it isn't too dysphoric for me.
@butteryeffect We are all wntitled to our opinions, even your son. More men shave these days, so it is getting less weird and social acceptable. In all my years of shaved legs I have had minimal comments...it just isn't an issue.
When I first started have my legs waxed the technician asked if I were a swimmer. I told her I do swim, and cycle, buy mostly I just like smooth legs. She was of course fine with it, and now knows I also wax because I dress as well, but that was not the reason I first started shaving.
If you want to shave your legs, just do it...your son may think its weird, but then I think men wirh leg hair look weird and smooth legs look so muxh better.
I do shave my legs, I did it this morning, and would be particularly hirsute on the legs if I didn't shave. I'm pretty sure my father did not shave his legs and yet he had no hair on his legs at all. I would say therefore that the lack of hair on a man's legs can not be considered weird any more than a man who has little to no hair on his head (my father was bald as well, ever since his early 20's apparently; he had an extraordinarily hairy back and chest though).
As an aside, I might add that although I probably have a very nearly full head of hair, I cannot be sure as I've shaved my head for over 25 years now (great for wig-wearing, nothing to tuck out of the way).
Yes, I share your thoughts and struggles re:crossdressing, not easy for sure.
The desire to crossdress continues to increase dramatically, as does the joy and stress reduction.
A remarkable journey for us all, wishing you the best...
My sympathies and its good to have a rant sometimes, hope you get some "you" time soon. I too have wondered about the stress thing, is the stress increased due to not being able to dress or does the stress make the desire to dress stronger. I suspect elements of both, the irritation at having to conform to societies "rules" must create stress and like any desire the more it is denied the stronger the urge becomes.
When I get stressed my brain tells me to get girly. The first thing I want to do is cuddle up in a long nightie and read a book or watch an old movie but I rarely get the opportunity to do that so this can make me more stressed. It’s a vicious cycle. All I do is handle it the best I can. I’ll wear what ever feminine items I can get away with and persevere. Talking to some of my favorite girlfriends here at CDH helps so much too. A glass of wine also helps!
💋💋💋
This is the place to rant and get it out if there is nowhere else. We feel for you, keep focused on those important things that make life tick and look to when you can regain control and Cassie time.
