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Cold Feet

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Posts: 1497
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Topic starter
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

This evening my wife is out with friends, so an ideal opportunity to grab a little Jacqueline time.

My wife having left the house early, I was dressed by 6.30pm. A patterned black pencil skirt, close fitting maroon jumper, and, for a change, black 15 denier tights instead of my usual nudes. I was pleased with them, and will probably wear them more often. On the down side, I made a bit of a mess with applying my lippy, and had to faff about for ages trying to repair it to a halfway satisfactory standard. 

My main plan for the evening was to borrow one of my wife's coats and drive to a nearby pub for a quick glass of white wine, then back home again and get redrabbed. I can never be totally confident about how long my wife will stay out, and as she doesn't know about my crossdressing (I think), I don't want to risk being caught.

The pub I had in mind is a fairly classy one, five minutes drive from my house. It's generally not too busy, so was ideal for my visit. This being an "ordinary" pub rather than a safe gay bar, I didn't want it to be crowded with "ordinary" people.

I drove to the pub and into the car park, and was dismayed to see quite a lot of cars there. Far more than I'd expected from the recce I'd carried out recently. I could also see quite a lot of people in the pub through every window. I may have muttered a curse.

I pulled up in a parking space, switched off the engine and sat for a minute or two, wondering if I could pluck up the courage to go into the pub. I'm sorry to say that my courage deserted me. It was simply too much of a challenge for me to face so many people on my own.

Beating a retreat, I drove to another pub which is also close to my home. This one is more often busy, and so it proved tonight. The car park was full, and I was very disappointed. 

So I drove back home. As I reversed the car onto my drive, my next door neighbour chose that moment to arrive home from whatever he'd been doing. I remained in the car until he'd gone inside, but it's almost certain he would have been aware that I was in my car. Whether or not he realised I was en femme, I don't know. I can only hope he wasn't.

Back in the safety of my home I poured myself a consolation glass of gin and tonic, drank it slowly, then redrabbed. Not the roaring success of a night I'd hoped for, but at least I'd clocked up another one and a half hours girl time. And as I type this, ladies, I'm quietly berating myself for not having the guts to get out of my car and go into that pub. I know I'd have attracted some stares, but ultimately no one would have given a flying fig.

Maybe next time.

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83 Replies
23 Replies
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2192

@jacquelinelarkspur Commiserations, Jacqueline, I think if I was going to do something like that, it would have to be in a neighboring country 😲 ha ha

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@alexina 

Thanks, Alexina. It was so much easier when I was in Leeds last week (a whole 7 days ago!). I think that the level of courage required to do what I wanted to do tonight is directly proportional to the distance from home multiplied by the time available.

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2192

@jacquelinelarkspur Ha ha! I tip my Ascot bonnet to you, Jacqueline, a braver girl than I x

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1458

@jacquelinelarkspur Maybe not everything comes at once hon 🤗   You're already a braver girl than so many of us, and having set yourself free for the first time in ages last week, I'm sure you won't let yourself be shut back in the closet for long.  Fingers crossed for you that the next time is nowhere near so long in coming 🙂

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@finallyfiona 

Thank you, Fiona. I don't really feel particularly brave, especially when I compare what I do to the activities of quite a few of the fearless ladies here.

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 313

@jacquelinelarkspur 

Don't worry about it. Just go again.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@dovemtn2016 

Oh, I will. It's just a matter of time, and opportunity.

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@jacquelinelarkspur I think we have all been there.   Sometimes I still hesitate to go into busy stores and restaurants.  But sometimes I just go for it.  Just relax, sometime soon the desire to go in will outweigh your fear.

Cassie 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@loneleycd 

Thanks, Cassie. I know you're right. It's sheer desire that prompts us to take the next step, whatever that may be at the time, whether it's dressing at home, peeping out of the door, running down to the bin and back, taking a walk round the block...

The list is endless!

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@jacquelinelarkspur We all have our limitations, so take it one step at a time. I don't drink, so I don't have a lot to say directly about pubs. Finding a safe one may be in order, if you must go to one. Is smoking allowed in pubs there? That smell will be on your clothes.

Malls are easy to handle because most people are busy into themselves and why they are there. However, young people or gramma's are eagled-eyed, if they are bored and start people watching. Your only concern may be a bunch of teenagers. Act as if you belong there, and own it. If necessary, pick a mall that you don't frequent very often.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@harriette 

Thanks, Harriette.

The two pubs I visited are ones I know to be "safe" inasmuch as they don't attract the rowdier element of society. They're also on the rural outskirts of the town I live in, which gives an air of seclusion. And they're both just a few minutes drive from my home, which was important because my time was limited by my having to redrab before my wife got home. I figured I'd have maybe 20 to 30 minutes in the pub.

Smoking is illegal in all public places and workplaces in the UK. Some pubs have beer gardens or outside areas where you can smoke. I don't smoke.

There are two shopping malls nearby. One's out of town, the other's in a busy city centre. The out of town one is huge, easy to reach and easy to park at. The problem is me. I know I'd feel conspicuous, intimidated and open to the distinct possibility of ridicule by members of the public, especially the younger set.

As you say, one step at a time.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@jacquelinelarkspur As I recounted here once before, I had to wear a new purchase of high heeled sandals through a posh mall, once, because of blisters (long story, I survived them). I had to walk to the opposite side of the mall, to buy some moleskin in a drug store, so that I could walk home. I walked past a few teenagers who snickered, but that was it. Bare feet or heels? I chose my new shoes which didn't hurt me.

Another CDH member here recently described being harassed by some teenagers in a Walmart store. Don't expect this kind of treatment. Be ready for it, but don't fear it. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. The more prepared you are, the better it will all work out. I have had stares and the snickers, but that's it. While annoying, no harm done. Most people in malls don't even see you, let alone react. They can't see the forest for the trees.

The more en femme you dress, though, the more stares may be directed your way, but even then, depending on your talents, you may still just blend in. I did the man in a skirt thing in that mall once. Yes, it was stressful for a while, but no harm done. Will I do that again? I will let you know when it happens.

Experiment, to find your own limits. Once you broaden your outings, you will figure things out.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@harriette 

Thank you, Harriette. I greatly appreciate your comments and experience.

A few years ago I was at the local shopping mall (the Metrocentre in Gateshead, UK), and happened to spot a MTF walking by. I say MTF because I don't want to assume they were a CD or fully trans. I wanted to talk to them, but I was with my wife at the time, so the chance was lost.

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(@katherineboesemann)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa
Posts: 192

@jacquelinelarkspur 

Beautifully told. I've been there a few times, too.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@katherineboesemann 

Thank you, Katherine. It's not easy, is it. Especially in a suspicious and judgemental society.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 93975)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 50

@jacquelinelarkspur 

You should take a reading on your pulse as you sit in your car with the adrenaline flowing.

i never did but I remember thinking something inside me might explode with the excitement.

That’s always a part of the thrill. Perhaps it’s the most addictive part.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@trudi 

Interestingly, I know that my heart wasn't thumping. I was at ease with myself while sitting in the car. I felt more disappointed and irritated with myself than anything!

You're right about the addiction part, though.

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Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

@jacquelinelarkspur I can relate so well to those feelings. It's happened to me countless times.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@pattyphose 

Thanks, Patty. I think it's these little setbacks that give us the strength to persevere, and the determination to extend our boundaries, be it ever so slightly each time.

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Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

@jacquelinelarkspur Even though I had dreamed and fantasized for years abut being femme and wearing pantyhose and showing my legs in public, way more often then not, my nerve abandoned me in spite of how much I wanted to do it.

But, over time, I got a little bolder and more confident. I guess we either give up or just keep at it.

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@jacquelinelarkspur 

Well, at the moment I wouldn't have the nerve to do ANY of that ... so you're a heroine in my eyes for even getting as far as two pub car parks 🙂

I've been out multiple times in 50:50 mode now, but not yet fully en femme in public other than on long drives.

The first time I do that 'properly' will be following my makeover in July. It may well play out that the first time I'm ever in a PUB en femme is in your company on a future occasion in Leeds ...

Ellie x

 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 

I actually got out of the car at the second one. Then two women left the pub and headed steaight towards me (or, to be precise, towards their cars), so I got back in double quick. Not easy in a pencil skirt...

I look forward to that potential meeting in Leeds. Or anywhere, for that matter.

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@jacquelinelarkspur We'll make it happen 🙂

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Posts: 50
Guest
(@Anonymous 93975)
Trusted Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Less exciting and daring I picked a LBD, some heels and a ladies denim jacket. Took upstairs with the intention of storing but excitement got the better of me. So while partner was downstairs I put them on along with nude tights. No wig, no make up, no bag. So mirror sited to show from neck down and a little wiggle. Really pleased with results. All dressed but nowhere to go.

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2192

@melaniejames Precious moments 😊

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@melaniejames 

Less daring, Melanie? Ooh, I don't know about that! If your SO doesn't know about your dressing, then to try on a LBD and tight while she's sitting downstairs is something I wouldn't dare to do in a month of Sundays!

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Posts: 50
Guest
(@Anonymous 93975)
Trusted Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Strange yet no way I could what you did both today and on your recent trip. I had every confidence in my concealing speed....I think.

No way I could venture out dressed in these mean streets and a local pub. Nah. You got me beat on that.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@melaniejames 

You could, believe me. Check out Canal Street. I know it's your home town, but if you're able to get there, you'd be absolutely fine.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 93975)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 50

@jacquelinelarkspur LFF feels a better option as I know Canal Street.  Might see you there.

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Posts: 65
Lady
(@esmewthrwx)
Estimable Member     Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

You dressed and drove to TWO pubs and then drove home where a neighbor might have seen. You, my friend, are so incredibly courageous. It's more than I've ever done.

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Posts: 1497
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Thanks, Esme. I suppose it all boils down to what you think you can get away with at the time, weighing up the situation. Then, sitting in that pub car park surrounded by a couple of dozen cars, the prospect of going in was just too much for me. Now, with the second glass of gin and tonic by my side, I'm wishing I'd just gone and done it.

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@jacquelinelarkspur

Now, with the second glass of gin and tonic by my side, I'm wishing I'd just gone and done it.

I've just posted you a third glass of gin and tonic.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 

[Jacqueline waits impatiently for the postman]

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@jacquelinelarkspur

If he comes staggering towards the house you may be disappointed 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@lucyb112 

I hope it's not Barry. 

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@jacquelinelarkspur 😂😂

Well he was obviously keen, so you never know 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@lucyb112 

Yuck.

I'm not that kind of girl.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@jacquelinelarkspur Glad to hear it young lady 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@lucyb112 @jacquelinelarkspur 

Especially if you see him sucking the envelope. 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 

Ewww

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@jacquelinelarkspur  @ellyd22 

Double Ewww 🤢

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Posts: 1293
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Jacqueline, oh the “holy grail” of a crossdresser to be yourself out and about with the purpose of blending in… I have been in your shoes (or heels) where I sat out a mall in my car dressed with skinny pants blouse wig, makeup, and girly flats. It was a busy day and my insecurities got the best of me and I “aborted” Leonara’s visit to the mall.
Where I live, a friend to the cg/tg community sponsors a night out at a pub once a month. With the encouragement of ladies who I met through CDH, Leonara finally made her debut, albeit under very friendly cg/tg friends… i must say it was an exhilarating experience to be with like minded ladies… Jacqueline, i hope another opportunity comes your way. Be confident girl you are lovely.      Warmest regards,  Leonara

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@leonara 

Thank you, Leonara, I truly appreciate your support.

I have no problem going for a night out at LGBTQ+ bars. They are safe and inclusive, and I know 100% that I'll be accepted. Other environments are another kettle of fish. I can't see myself walking into a shopping mall anytime soon (or at all, for that matter), though I know that many ladies here do just that all the time. For me it's down to fear of discovery and shortage of time.

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Posts: 3437
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Don't fret Jaqueline, cold feet is something many have suffered. You got out the house and scoped a few pubs which is a great deal to many readers. I am sure that there will be a few 'dry' runs before you pluck up the courage.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ab123 

Thank you, Angela. It's all about pushing the envelope, isn't it. You can only go so fast, otherwise you'll rip it.

Not sure that analogy entirely works the way it did in my head, but you get the idea!

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Posts: 1067
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

No one can do a thing before they're ready, Jacqueline. You will find what you need when you need it. 🙂

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@melodeescarlet 

Thanks Melodee. It's just a bit frustrating when opportunities to dress are relatively few and far between. I often find myself thinking about the next one.

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Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1067

@jacquelinelarkspur And I would think that eventually there will be enough frustration on the other side of the scale to offset the anxiety, and one day you'll say "eff this" and walk in, consequences be damned. I believe it works this way for most of us. Some get there sooner, some later, but you're smart and capable and, above all, you know yourself best!

My line is open if you ever want to chat about it 🙂

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Posts: 72
(@michellegirl)
Estimable Member     Northern Michigan , Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I was the same way. Now I go to Macy's and shop. So much fun, and oh so exciting! My wife knows I dress, she makes sure she gives me time once a month to go out. Love to dress 👗  up.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@michellegirl 

Thanks, Michelle. Ah, that's the thing, see. My wife doesn't know I dress. At least I think she doesn't. I sometimes suspect she may have an inkling. She knows I've done it in the past, but prefers to pretend it didn't/doesn't happen at all.

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Posts: 1325
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Personally, I'd forget going to pubs on my first outing, especially if I were alone. Even as a man in drab I was never happy going into strange (to me) pubs on my own as the clientele could not be assessed through a pub window. If I were you, I would head for a cafe, rather than a pub, in a town, during daylight if you can -- much more relaxed, I would have thought.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@rebeccabaxter 

Thanks for the advice, Rebecca. I'll certainly bear it in mind should the opportunity arise. 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@rebeccabaxter Especially if one has to drive to get there, plus I am sure that there are more coffee shops close by than pubs.

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Posts: 1005
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

I’ve sat in a car park fretting about whether to get out or not.

I don’t think I’d have left the car in that situation. 

There’s also been a number of times that I’ve wandered around the house fully dressed as Lucy trying to pluck up the courage to get out of the house.

Some days it just doesn’t feel right lovely 

 

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Posts: 2074
Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Jacqueline,

There's always a next time, I've still got to have my first time, 

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

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17 Replies
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@rozalyne 

Thanks, Rozalyn. Yes, that next time is always tantalising. Sometimes it's difficult to think of anything else!

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2074

@jacquelinelarkspur

Yes i know, I think of putting a dress on all the time, I'm still trying to get my wife to have a week away on her own so i can get some Roz time,

She used to have a week away in September but when we had the lock downs that had to stop, I know it's a long way off but I'm off down to Kent for August bank holiday on my own so i was thinking about visiting boys to girls in London for a makeover, I'll just have to see what happens,

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@rozalyne 

Covid brought working from home, which proved to be a boon for closeted crossdressers, me included. 

I'm looking forward to hearing about your August Bank Holiday. And, oh, how I'd love to have a proper makeover!

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2074

@jacquelinelarkspur 

I'm looking forward to bank holiday myself, I've got to book it, I'm supposed to be going to a military show over the weekend but i might go down on the Tuesday or the Wednesday, then i can go on the Thursday to boys to girls salon and have my makeover, I suppose going to a military show is not lady like but it's something I'm interested in, I like a lady in uniform i wish i was one, 

I shall keep all the girls posted and upload some photos to CDH if and when it happens,

Hugs Rozalyn X 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@jacquelinelarkspur We should try and coordinate a makeover together one day. Maybe we'd get reduced rates if there were two of us 🙂

@lucyb112 could make it three.

And afterwards we could hit the town 🙂

There's a dressing service in Brighton with a B&B that caters for just that; stay at their B&B overnight, makeover at 10 am, lunch out, back for relaxation and outfit changes/photography, get a little more glammed up in the late afternoon ready for an evening out, meal in Brighton, escorted visits to safe pubs and clubs, back to the B&B in the small hours then depart the next morning after a late breakfast.

I'm quite attracted by that whole package ... and WILL be doing it one day, even if it's on my own.

Explaining a couple of days absence to your wife could be tricky though ...

Maybe there's something closer to you that offers something similar?

Leicester Ladies (still a long way from Gateshead) do makeovers/event/excursions ... or we could ask Alice and Grai what's possible in Leeds?

Ellie x

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2074

@ellyd22 

Hi Ellie, can i come too, my wife has said if i want to have a holiday away on my own that's ok with her, 

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@rozalyne @jacquelinelarkspur @lucyb112 

OK, you're in.

If we can get enough girls interested we can hire a minibus 🙂 

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2074

@ellyd22 

If we get enough girls interested we could hire a coach, lol X 

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1728

I've often said here that I would never go out en femme. But if there was a chance of getting together with you crazy women in a safe environment I might be tempted. It would be a hoot. It would be lovely to put a female face to all the names here! xx.

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1458

@chrisfp99 I'd be well up for that too 🙂  (Caveat: as long as I'd had The Talk with the OH first, so as not to have to lie about what I was doing.)

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@finallyfiona 

That's fair enough. I've had The Talk. Several times. They've never gone well, so what is is and what are are.

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@chrisfp99 

I'd love that. Don't know if and when I'll have another chance, though.

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@ellyd22 That would be sooo lovely! 

I do look at the Leicester Website now and again. If the opportunity ever arises I’ll be there.
In the meantime I await your trip there with interest 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5213

@lucyb112 Tracey at Femme Side has been recommended to me by SO MANY members now. I hope I'm not building up my hopes too highly ... I am REALLY looking forward to this  🙂

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@ellyd22 

Well, that would be a dream. Explaining the absence... definitely tricky.

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1728

Rozalyn, I can highly recommend Boys Will Be Girls xx.

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Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Joined: 3 years ago

Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 2074

@chrisfp99 

Thanks very much Chrissie, I shall keep all the girls posted on the events of my adventure,

Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗

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Posts: 7828
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jacqueline, 

No reason to be negative about your outing.  You left the house and had a great drive to two pubs.  Some CD’s would be so nervous and not get out the front door.  But you overcame the anxiety and ventured out.  If you’re nervous about being made perhaps a trip to the next town where you don’t know the people who frequent that establishment. May be a good plan the next time your wife is out.

Alice

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1 Reply
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@aliceunderwire 

Thanks for the advice, Alice. Yes, timing is absolutely everything, and I don't get enough of it!

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Posts: 2108
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Jacqueline -

Bravo for you - you made it out of the house, took a drive, sat in 2 parking lots at pubs and when you got home had to wait for the neighbor to go in before you did. That's a lot more than what I've done. The closest I've come to being out in public is - 1- dressing for msome of my therapy appointments (I change at her office) and 2 - going to a support group meeting and changing when I got there. As much as I would love to go out dressed I don't see it happening any time soon. Hope you get a chance to go out again sooon.

XOXO
Suzanne

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1 Reply
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@cdsue 

Thank you so much, Suzanne. I guess my disappointment at not following through with my plan had a lot to do with the success of my trip to Leeds exactly a week before. I wanted to recapture some of that euphoria. But the prospect of entering a non-LGBTQ+ pub just proved too daunting.

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Posts: 485
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

It's definitely an accomplishment to go out en femme even if you didn't go into the pub. I go out a fair bit, but almost always with my wife. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been out en femme solo, usually at the grocery store. Solo is so much harder! Even out with my wife, we stick to safe spaces like gay bars or our local haunt. We're out to have a fun time, so we stay within my comfort zone (she is much more willing to go anywhere with me than I am myself). Good for you for getting out there! It's so rewarding and it just gets easier. These days I don't think twice about walking down the driveway in a skirt in broad daylight! 

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