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If it's any consolation, we all get cold feet at times.
I'm free to live as Cerys for everything other than work (my choice), I've gone weeks on end as Cerys.
The other day, I was out and about and I decided to stop for a coffee. I saw a nearby coffee shop, pulled into the car park. I got out of my car, and walked in through the door. It was rammed.
I instantly felt that every eye was on me. I felt seriously self conscious. Normally there would not be a problem. This time, I turned tail and went back to the car. I have never don this before.
Lately, Cerys has taken a bit of a back seat for various reasons. Maybe this was the reason.
We all get the jitters. Don't worry about it. Next time, hold your head high. Be you and go in. Dam(n) what anyone thinks. Be who you want to be!
Cerys
Thank you, Cerys. I think I can imagine how you felt on walking into that coffee shop. I can't imagine me walking into one any time soon, but, as others have said, one step at a time.
I'm glad you're getting your Cerys back on. We all need to take a break now and then.
Jacqueline, I've been holding back on a response to this thread, as I'm worried I may come across as a bit judgemental. Please be assured that is certainly not the case,but I'd just like to share my perspective.
I loved your multi part posts of your trip to Leeds, and I'm sorry you didn't manage to get out to the pub locally. But I'm just amazed that you'd have the courage to make yourself look lovely and go out when your wife is just out for the evening. How do you know she won't be back early?
This would just cause me so much stress it would spoil the whole experience. I don't want a rush job. I need time to relax into being Chrissie. Also, where do you keep your stash? I'm absolutely certain my wife would find it. That's why my approach has to be to only dress when my wife is away. I don't keep any clothes at home and will buy complete outfits when she's away. Next opportunity in June when I have 10 days. I'll then get rid of everything. In the past I've literally taken everything down the dump, but I also have a makeover booked, and I'm wondering if Cindy at Boys Will Be Girls might consider a discount if I donate everything to her. After all it'll all be bigger sizes which would be handy for her. I'm 6' 00" and 190 lbs. Dress size 18. 42B bra. Only a size 8 shoe size though.
It's not ideal and a bit frustrating but this is the way I've chosen, and what a rush I'll have choosing some outfits, and then having 10 days completely en femme. Just my two penn'orth.
Oh, I might add that with my size I don't ever see myself going out in public. Maybe, just maybe to a CD convention, but that doesn't seem to be a thing in the UK.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Chrissie, it doesn't come across as judgemental at all. I believe I know you better than to think that.
Your first question, how do I know my wife won't be back early, is a very good and reasonable one. I suppose my answer is to say that I don't know, but I can be fairly confident she won't.
She doesn't go out with her friends often, only about once every month or two, but from long experience I can be as sure as I can be that she'll return home at around 10pm. So it proved the other night. They'd booked at a restaurant for 7pm, by which time I was dressed. I knew I wouldn't have long, and after my trip out (even taking the time I would have spent in the pub into account) I had redrabbed a good hour before she arrived home.
I have had the odd close call, mind. A few weeks ago I dressed for the afternoon while my wife was at work. While I was redrabbing (I'd removed my makeup and clothing but hadn't put them away) my daughter's car pulled onto the drive. This was totally unexpected. It turned out she was paying a flying visit to use the bathroom! The point is, I could have remained dressed for at least another hour prior to my wife's return, but something made me redrab early, which was just as well.
As for where I keep my stash; it's currently in a holdall on the floor of my wardrobe. Like most of us, I've purged several times, when discovery has seemed imminent. It's always a painful experience.
@jacquelinelarkspur Can you link your phone mapping program with your wife's? I have to do that to find my wife when we are out and she wanders off all of the time. Google wants to request continuing the linkage every so often, so it wouldn't be safe to do this secretly.
I don't have to hide from her, so that isn't a problem, and our daughter won't just drop by.
