Constrained by maleness

Yes ,growing up in the 50s and 60s was very hard .We ,as males were expected to be tough and not show any emotion at all.I went to a Catholic boys only high school and my gym coach for all four years was a retired Marine Drill Instructor with 30 years in the Corps.I smiled all thru the last gym class and walked past the coach with the biggest smile he had ever seen and I never said a word to him.I DO NOT MISS HIM  or the other stuff we as males were expected to do.Thats why I am very comfortable on this site allowing my softer side to shine thru.

I grew up in the 60's and 70's. Yes, there were many challenges at home, school, society. I thought my secret would be buried forever. I am glad that I can accept and express myself, but we still have a long way to go.

Ain't that the truth sister.

I also grew up in the 50's - 60's and all the turmoil of that era. As a male there was no crying, doing boy things (playing with trucks, playing cowboys and Indians, soldier, baseball, etc) was what was expected. A regular haircut for school and a crewcut for the summer was what was expected. In my household don't even think about growing long hair (the hippie era) as it was part of the counter culture (read drugs, rock and roll music, "wierd" clothes). I had 3 younger sisters and when we were home due to a snow day and couldn't go out of the house I would play with them - Barbies, tea party, trying make up (mostly lipstick), walking in heels, etc.. It was during that time that I started trying on my mother's clothes and it felt good wearing them. I suppressed those feelings throughout my life. There were occasions in between marriages that I would try on some lingerie that was left behind but that was it. It was about 5 years ago that my dressing finally exposed itself which is a story in and of itself. Since that time I have embraced my dressing. I have come to accept my feminine side with the help of my therapist and my loving wife. At first she felt betrayed but after many conversations she has come to accept my dressing. She helps me in many ways and has become comfortable enough with Suzanne to allow her to visit on occasion. I often think how different life would have been if I had been able to express my true self but realize I can't go back and just need to enjoy what I have moving forward. 

XOX 

Suzanne

I was born in rhe late 50s, so consider myself a child of the 60s and 70s, which was actually a pretty sweet spot. I had the 60s crew cut, wore only Levi jeans for play and slacks and button down shorts to school. Then the counter culture hit, I grew shoulder length hair and not being "establishment" was the thing. Most importantly, it was a time of questioning the status quo, and accepting "others". I had a great college course on human sexuality and we discussed alternate lifestyles and had LGBT speaks and learned they are normal people who just happen to do things differently the "typical" people.

So, my early "training" was to repress all those urges, questions, wonderings, but soon was urge to do just the opposite. In hindsight, I did repress many of those feminine traits that we were suppose to not have, but soon learned to accept them in others, even if I did still supress them in myself. Now, after having dressed for some time, and allowing those feeling to come out, which just seemed easier to allow when dressed, I have found a much better balance in my life.

I was born in the late 50’s and grew up in the 60’s and early 70’s  because of the lack of available information I had little idea of what was going on with me. Outwardly I was all boy, but inward I enjoyed feeling girly and at times wished I was a girl. Somehow through society I knew what I was doing and feeling was pretty much unacceptable. And if it ever came out I would be teased and harassed mercilessly. Sissy and girly boy come to mind. I still don’t understand how I made it through those years. I knew it wasn’t accepted but I also knew it’s who I was. 
I hope it’s better for today’s youth. I know there’s more information and help available but also a large stigma and hate out there. 

Speaking only of the UK: I would not like to be a youth today. Social media pressures and bullying, gangs, carrying knives, synthetic drugs, vapes, violence. The youth of today have no fear of retribution as the police will do nothing, the parents can do nothing, even if they wanted to, and so many don't care themselves. Out of touch governments, over-stretched services, etc. etc.

I was born in 1954 and while I lived through the sixties, I didn't really care for them, I just played football or messed about with my mates. The seventies however, was a different matter, especially the music -- progressive rock, Yes, Hawkwind, Pink Floyd -- that WAS fun (in some cases it still is, although most of them are in their seventies or eighties).

The 1970s fashion?! Ah, now there was a social faux pas on a grand scale -- stacked heels, Ben Sherman shirts, flared velvet suits; doesn't bear thinking about.

Don't get me wrong, I like modern technology and up-to-date things -- this forum, for example, wouldn't exist without it. I like my modern mobile phone, my motorbike that doesn't leak oil and break down every ten minutes, my car that mostly doesn't rust. I like modern days because I have lived though one of the best and safest periods in human history, I just wouldn't want to live now as a teenager. I am now in my seventies and whatever bad is happening, or is going to happen soon in the world, it's really not going to bother me for too long.

These days, I'm just an old transvestite with no more axes to grind. I like to dress and sit in the sun, watching the world go by.

I'm another one born in the late 50's so grew up in the 60's and 70's. But I don't think I was ever tough or macho. I was more of the intellectual type. Not good at sports (and asthma didn't help), but always did well in school.

While not super long, I did start wearing my hair longer. Not for being a hippie, not for style. I have a very oily face (even today), and I discoverd that my acne always got worse the first few weeks after a hair cut. I reasoned that when the hair was longer, it would absorb some of the oils so my acne was better, and when it was cut the oils would be on my face and make the acne worse. So I would let the hair grow down to my shoulders, and cut it back to the nape of my neck. My father would complain (out of earshot) to my mother, but never to me. My mom was more tolerant of my longer hair. But I was not doing it for rebellion but to keep my acne under control.

I now know that I was born intersex, and I always had the knowledge that I was supposed to be a girl. But I was also born into constant conflict between my parents. My mother knew I was feminine and nurtured me accordingly. My father was never happy about that, insisting on male activities and expected proper results. Insisting that I be involved in every single high school sport, which I was never good at, threatening to send me to a military school to "man me up" and always trying to line me up with very masculine jobs. I was a disappointment and failed miserably meeting his expectations, and was bullied quite frequently at school because of being feminine and not a fighter.

My mother was a teacher and understood my feminine nature, and my artistic leanings. She taught me music, the various ways of painting pictures, flower arrangement, origami, pottery and we sang in a lot of community choirs.  She knew of my being attracted to femininity, and was aware I was trying on some of her clothing. Her only words to me were, "Don't ever let you father find out!"

I was fortunate that my school years were during the mid 60's to early 70's. The Vietnam decade. I was part of 'The Woodstock Generation', involved in protest marches, my hair was shoulder length, I wore patched blue jeans and tie dyed shirts. In school everyone thought I was gay because I was feminine. All my friends were girls and at that time it was cool to be able to express your emotions, so my femininity became obvious to most people.

In many ways, I never really had to "come out" as many of the people I knew were already aware that I was feminine. Keep in mind there was no terminology at that time other than 'transexual', you were just effeminate or a transvestite. 

Much later on, when I did "come out" at my workplace, as being transgender, nobody was surprised. Many of the women I work with simply said, "We always knew you were just 'one of the girls'"

hugs,

Ms. Lauren M