Does CDing ever make you feel alone?

Dana, thank you for posting your story. I guarantee that there are girls like us are reading it and saying thats exactly how I have felt. When I was 30 years old I went to my first CD party in 1978. I met people just like myself. It was a life changing experience. Finding out that I wasn't alone was something I remember like it was yesterday
Your wife is like my wife. I have accepted that she will nothing to do with my femme side. Over the years I have struggled with balancing this part of me in my life. We are married 50 years and have a large family. Over the years I have met some very interesting and nice people.
Thank you again for telling your story.
Yours Terri

A very touching post, Dana! I have a sympathetic smile!

My SO sees Barb in every day! Not dressed fully yet, but that is my goal and to go for coffee as fully dressed Barb with her too. That's the Holy Grail, isn't it?

I am not a "regular" guy. I get bored of head-butting with other guys for hierarchical supremacy. Some guy always wants to be "Top Dog". And it looks ridiculous on a middle-aged man. But that doesn't mean I lack power. I will stand my ground. My SO likes that.

"So, Barb, WTFITPOAT?"

I found that I can be feminine with my SO without all the clothes, especially with our conversations. It's OK to giggle and go off on a tangent and ride it! I have only one boy friend like this, an super-amazing and very learned Englishman with a PhD in god knows what. He can talk about anything and displays many feminine characteristics. In fact, I've probably picked up some of his mannerisms. It wouldn't surprise me if he has crossdressing tendencies...

I've kinda combined boy-me with Barb-me and I've never been happier!

Hang in there, Dana!

🐕 Barb

I think Terri says it. How many of us started alone. Look as it as a time to find yourself. Answer a lot of questions and establish that you are committed to pursue this life . Once you are settled, comfortable within yourself then you have the confidence to go forward. It's like a probation with no timescale.

I'll call of the troops....

Thank you Terri for sharing.  Wow…you went to a Cd party back in 1978?  There was far less acceptance back then than there is today.  You are one brave individual.

I love the fact that you and your wife have been married so long…50 years.  That takes two committed and loving people to make it that long.  That too is something to be admired.

Thank you again for sharing your story Terri

Hugs… Dana

Barb,

Thank you for sharing.  I never really thought about it that way….being Barb, in your case, without the clothes and makeup.  You make a good point and that might be what is needed to allow this to move forward. Thank You!

Hugs… Dana

Hi Bobbisue.

I am so sorry to hear your SO is gone.  But thank you for sharing your perspective.

Hopefully you will find some friends at the upcoming show you are going to.  Friends make a world of difference.  I can make the friends.  There is a friend not too far from me that am trying to find a time to meet for coffee.  Getting out of the house, as Dana or in drab, without lying to my wife is the problem and is what is holding me back.  But we take it one day at a time.

Thank you again.

Hugs… Dana

You’re awesome Angela.  Thank you for calling off the troops!  😃❤️

Hugs…. Dana.

Dear Dana,

In answer to your question about feeling alone, for me it’s yes, Yes, YES! My wife knows I cross dress but with a very limited wardrobe at this point. And she has encouraged me to wear my nighties or nightgown to bed because she says that I sleep better. We even have sex while I’m wearing a nightie. But she hasn’t seen me in my new dress and to be fair, I’m not sure I’m ready for her to see me that way.

The other issue is that her oldest son lives with us (special needs adult) and I’m definitely not ready for him to see me en femme. I think he knows but I’m not going to confirm it for him right now. But this also means that I can’t dress up unless I’m home by myself. I don’t have another girl to show me how to do my makeup, or wear a wig properly, or as you stated, go out for coffee with. I still have too much to buy before I go out anyways (glasses, shoes, wig, accessories) and those things aren’t cheap. And I have other things that need to take priority financially speaking, over getting everything Jill needs to really be a classy lady.

And I too have wondered why God gave me these feelings. Life would be easier without them, that’s for sure. But I can’t help but think that Jill makes life more interesting too.

Thankfully, the girls here make things easier to bear with their kindness and words of wisdom. They keep me from feeling completely alone and isolated which is how I used to feel years ago.

And I do hope that your wife will want to meet Dana sometime very soon. From what I can see, she’s very honest, thoughtful, and intelligent, and your wife would be a lucky woman to meet her.

Hugs, Jill

Hi Dana,

I don't feel alone because my wife and I are very close. She doesn't want to see me dressed and has health issues that keep her at home so my opportunities to dress are very limited. We have recently discussed the stress this is causing me and I asked if I could wear a nightgown to bed. She was OK with that and it has helped a lot. If she had not been ok with it I would have lived with that decision because our relationship means everything to me. Her health is not good so I realize that after 52 years of marriage I could wind up alone. All the opportunity in the world to dress won't offset the loneliness I fully expect to feel then.

Hi Dana,

I'm alone all the time when I am dressing.  I have only discovered this side of me within the last 3-4 years.

I'm terrified of what my wife of 38 yeas reaction would be. Most of our long time friends, and fammily have very traditional values as well, so I'm not ready to share anytime soon.

Though just like you said, I have questioned, I have also thanked God for the amazing feelings I have while en femme.

And then we have this wonderful community for support too!

So I guess we are not alone...

Hugs,

Lara

Hi Dana,

Yes, loneliness is part of it. Maybe God made us like this, but it's the others who have decided that they are uncomfortable with it. I wonder if in 50 or 100 years, this will be viewed as acceptable and maybe even encouraged.

I have urges to transition and have started feminizing my body, but I cannot be out to everyone around right now or there would be a lot of fallout and I'm not ready to pay that price at this time. I think that I eventually will be out.

I would love to go out and have coffee with all of you!

Hi Dana,

I think feeling lonely at times goes with the territory. I can't speak regarding an SO, I'm a widower (in the closet) , but it's reassuring to see more than a few girls here who have overcome the situation. But as you seem to be saying also, for me, as things stand, it is what it is. There again, personality wise, I'm quite comfortable in my own company, anyway.

And not forgetting CDH has made a huge difference.

Marti xxx

Hi Dana! Yes, it does.  Hugs

Hi Dana many times always feel alone in my journey. But do know have a ton of support from family friends locally and all the outstanding ladies here. May feel alone but not alone. If that make any sense.

One day hoping to have a SO But right now do have a great BF. Guess can call him my SO since we always together when possible.

Donna