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I became aware of a desire to be a woman about 18 months ago just after my 64th birthday. It hit me like a pink hurricane and I was consumed by this thought. I did not recall feeling this way during my childhood, teen years or other age. I was scared.
After some soul searching and research, I decided to have a cross dressing makeover done guessing, maybe hoping I wanted to cross dress. I had never tried it before that I can remember so I bought some underwear tried under dressing. Somehow I plucked up the courage to schedule the makeover realizing that I was going to be dressed as a woman, have pictures taken in front of people I had never met.
After I had selected outfits, accessories, shoes and wigs; I got dressed in my first outfit. As I walked past a mirror and saw Miranda for the first time; I knew I was a trans woman. I can't explain how it felt beyond it felt perfect.
For the last year, I have been working hard to convince myself that I did not and could not feel that way. I had the fairly common doubts:
I would have known younger
I didn't hate my body
I'm not trans enough
I couldn't pass
I don't know how to act feminine and on and on
I have come to learn that mine is a typical journey and most everyone has doubts.
I've found some wonderful resources especially videos on the internet that have helped me work through this.
Although I knew, I couldn't accept it and struggled with coming out to myself.
I've finally accepted that I will have doubts and I AM A Transgender Woman.
As of now I'm not planning on coming out to anyone else let alone transition. I will continue to ask whether I should and my answer may change over time and exploration. There are days when I just ache to a woman
I am afraid of coming out to wife, family and friends. I'm fairly confident that wife and children will be supportive, but I don't know if the y can be accepting. Unsure of my sister, my only close family. I will lose most of my friends, at least my male friends. Coming out is not just about me, it will affect everyone I love. I'm not sure my wife should lose her life partner, my children their father, my sister her brother and my friends their buddy. I know this doesn't have to be true, but I still need to come to terms with that.
Thank you for listening, writing this has been very emotional.
Miranda
Miranda,
Glad you realized what has been inside of you for so ling. Now I woudl now rush out and tell the world... no need to.You for sure need to haev conversations with your wife, she will go through many emotions and have many questions. You need to tell her you you are still the same person, just now you want to dress as a female x amount of times. She will want to know, are you gay? do you want to transition do you want to go out in public? Before you start conversation, you need to answer these and many other possible questions she may have.
I would hold off on telling the kids, as it does not impact them or any of your friends unless you will transition or want to include them in your public dressing. Your sister may be understanding and acceptable. But she does not have to be with you like your wife will.
Go slow and be fully transparent with your wife .
Good Luck!
Mirandi i could not have said it better, btw i am also 64
That is a really compelling story as it truly inspires me to dress like a crossdresser out in public meeting men despite all the woman who may say something else in me dressing like a woman. I am completely empowered in dressing up as a woman and finding men or woman to date for once as opposed to going out as guy. Ever since I considered becoming and dressing up as a woman, I've never been happier. One of my goals is to outdo the girls I see at the bars and dress much, much sexier than them to start tempting guys in hooking up with me as not only do I love sexy, but I love outdoing women as a guy dressed in sexy clothing. Especially those hot college girls 😉 guess I have quite the challenge!
Miranda
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your journey thus far. Acceptance of yourself is a big deal. From there, it is OK to take it slow. No need to tell everyone. Especially if you being trans has no effect on your relationship with them. If you being trans has an effect on the relationship, it is fine to break it slow and only when you are comfortable. Also, a big step for me (and know that I am no expert) was being comfortable with myself. Please know that it is OK to be slow in being comfortable with yourself.
-Hugs
Tiff
