Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Early shopping excursions

14 Posts
11 Users
28 Reactions
213 Views
Posts: 56
Lady
Topic starter
(@patricia1970)
Estimable Member     San Ramon, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

Before the days of the internet, it was really hard for the closeted MTF crossdresser to actually build up a wardrobe.  When I lived at home, I used to steal my sister’s clothes, but she eventually moved out, and just like any other crossdresser, I used to purge because the fear of getting caught was too much to bear; however, the urge to crossdress never went away, so that meant only one thing, I had to go shopping, in person, if I wanted to fill the need.   In the end, the urge to fulfill my crossdressing desires overcame the fear of being discovered.

Sometimes, when I felt the urge to crossdress, I would drive around looking for that perfect out of the way shop where I could go in and buy something without being discovered.  I eventually found this small women’s clothing shop, off the beaten path, that also had a small lingerie section right by the door, and at that time in my crossdressing journey, that is what I was after.  It took me a while, but eventually I built up the courage to actually go into the store (when I knew the shop was empty).  I was immediately approached by the store owner, and as a man walking into a women’s clothing store, I had to use the “I am looking to buy something for my girlfriend” line.  I remember being so nervous, and my throat was so dry, I could barely even speak.  I just wanted to get in and out as quickly as I could, so I grabbed the first bra and panty set off the rack that I came to and was ready to just go with that, but the store owner stopped me, asked me what size is she (something I was totally unprepared to answer),   and began talking different styles and fabrics, etc.  Eventually we settled on a red satin bra and matching panties.  It must have been obvious what I was REALLY up to because when I got home, I tried on the bra, it actually fit reasonably well, and so did the panties.  In hindsight, I suspect, when I couldn’t answer ANY of the shop owner's questions, and was in such a hurry to get out of there, the shop owner knew I was really shopping for myself and picked out a size she thought would fit me because, it actually did. 

At the time, I lived in apartment with two roommates, and we were all welders, machinists and auto mechanics.  Because I had to keep up the manly persona, and couldn’t afford to get discovered, I purged often, yet, ended up returning to that same shop frequently.  I was always so nervous and would wait around until I knew the shop was empty and the coast was clear before entering.  Then one time, when I was inside the shop, browsing the lingerie on the rack, another customer walked in.  In a panic, I ran out of the shop because I was so afraid of being discovered.  Again, I waited around until the coast was clear and reluctantly returned, the shop owner, in her heavily accented Asian voice, told me “Don’t worry, it’s OK, I remember you, you want underwear.”  Don’t ask me why or how, and although I didn’t buy one, that was the first time started looking at dresses.  It must have been the reassurance from the shop owner.   I kind of suggested I wanted to shop after closing time (so I could do it in private), but I don’t think she really understood what I was asking because she responded with something along the lines of “OK, go ahead and pick out anything you like.”

Because the fear of getting discovered was so strong, and now this shop owner definitely knew what I was up to, I did not return to that shop until years later, and when I did, I was hoping the shop owner still remembered me.  Unfortunately, she did not.  In hindsight, I now know it would have been to my advantage that she knew.  There have been other times where I walked into Victoria’s Secret, and straight out told the sales girl that I was shopping for myself (much later into my crossing journey), and she was really helpful and encouraging.  Another time, I walked into a Maidenform store, told the sales girl the same thing, she even offered me a bra fitting.  I didn’t take her up on it, but I wish I had.  I am still very reluctant to shop in person, shopping online anonymously is so much easier, but I do find shopping in person is a much more rewarding experience. 

Has anyone else had a similar experience?  What was your fear level the first time you went shopping in person? 

Reply
13 Replies
4 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1829

@patricia1970 My preference is to shop in person.

I'm at the stage  when I will tell the sales person it is for me, it just helps with sizing, choosing an item which will work and in smaller independent shops, trying an item on.

Having the confidence to do it makes a difference to being able to buy what you want. If they ask, I am willing to show them what I look like en-femme and generally get positive feedback.

I have to buy shoes online which is a bit of a chance on fitting, but most of my clothes I bought after seeing first hand.

Reply
(@patricia1970)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     San Ramon, California, United States of America
Posts: 56

@annaredhead I agree.  Once you get past the fear of admitting you are shopping for yourself, it is a much better experience, and shopping in person is much better because you know what you're getting.  I have also found on the very few occasions when I have done that, the sales associates I have delt with were really friendly and helpful.  On the other hand, I don't know how many times I bought something online, then was disappointed when it arrived because it was not the right fabric, size wasn't right, etc.  However, when shopping in person I have also never gone into the fitting rooms to try on a dress, or any other articles of female clothing for that matter.  Now that I am thinking about it, seems like it would be worth trying because I have come home with dresses that don't fit after shopping in person, and under those circumstances, I am a lot more reluctant to return an ill fitting piece of female clothing after buying it in person.  Again, I guess it is all about getting past that fear of admitting you are shopping for yourself.

Reply
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1829

@patricia1970 I do try dresses on. Not in a chain store, but no problem in a boutique. There are several that know me in drab, but also know the Anna look which makes them easy to talk to and they are fine with me trying outfits on.

 

Reply
Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 603

@patricia1970 visualize a bath towel on a rack dripping on the floor like a waterfalls. I was the towel.

Reply
Posts: 175
Lady
(@kimdl94)
Reputable Member     Blearmill, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 9 months ago

As a child I was fascinated by the lingerie section of the various catalogs we received and on weekday afternoons often saw commercials for a locally owned corset shop.   I assume the name dated way back.   

Fast forward a few years and I’m a freshman in college walking through the downtown area.  Looking ahead I saw the familiar sign from the corset shop commercials.   It was like a magnet and i stood near the front door looking in the display windows, trying to muster the courage to go inside.  

I didn’t out of fear.   Fear that I might be considered some kind of perv.   Fear that I would be welcomed and my life drastically changed.   Looking back, I still regret not taking that step inside.

Reply
Posts: 517
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I've always loved to shop, in my younger years it would be with girlfriends but I'd be looking for myself. Now I have no problem shopping by myself for myself. As a matter of fact just got home shopping for a night gown, no luck though.

Sherri

Reply
1 Reply
Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@blondsherri and, like all of us, I know you’ll keep on trying.

Reply
Posts: 3439
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

It was so different in the dark ages and I was much the same on shopping trips with my mother. I dreamed of being able to buy things for myself and even when a bit older couldn't bring myself to do it. Thankfully there were the catalogues where an item could be bought and delivered. Now I can shop 'til I drop.

Reply
Posts: 67
Duchess Annual
(@rayna)
Estimable Member     Leominster, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

 I would venture into department stores and try to find something when nobody else was close by. Total search-and-destroy tactics. I avoided any sales people and would wait until there wasn't a lone at the register. 

Checking out was the worst. If I was buying a dress, the cashiers would always hold it up high before folding it and putting it in the bag. And I got more than my share of suspicious looks and comments. And it always  seemed like the process was taking too long, allowing time for more people to gather on line. I do wished I could have done mail order but my loving circumstances made that impossible. 

 I did purge once or twice, but since I got rid of stuff that was either out of style or didn't fit me to begin with, it wasn't a great loss. 

 A while back, I made a friend through another website and she actually took me shopping one day. She had me trying on wigs in a wig store in front of the women working there. She also introduced me to Savers where she picked out a couple of things for me to buy. I shop there frequently now, and they have self checkout so it's a whole lot less stressful. The other people in the store don't seem to take much notice of what I'm buying, and the help doesn't either. 

 With self checkout, shopping for my girl stuff is much easier that it was back in the day. I haven't done any real shopping in a place where you have to deal with the sales people, but I'm hearing more about such places that are CD friendly. 

And yes, I shop online too. 

I just wish it had been this easy when I was younger.

Rayna 

 

Reply
Posts: 56
Lady
Topic starter
(@patricia1970)
Estimable Member     San Ramon, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

After I was "discovered" by the shop owner I described, that was when I started venturing out into malls and department stores.  I always tried to do it during off hours to avoid the suspicious looks, but I did get my fair share of those too.  

Never tried the self checkout...yet.  The thought has crossed my mind though. Smile Face  

Reply
Posts: 4016
Lady
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

We can obfuscate while shopping the same as we can when dressing. 😉

Bring a shopping list on paper with you. Refer to it as if you need to follow someone's instructions.

Reply
Posts: 220
Baroness
(@dianas1960)
Reputable Member     South Central, Indiana, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

About 8 years ago when I first started always traveling for business enfemme I was wearing a "good quality" costume store wig.  I wanted a proper wig and found a wig store along the way but 100's of miles from my home. I waited in the parking lot for hours till the store was empty before entering.  The person working the store was fairly new and when I confessed the wig was for me she did not balk at all.  She did say I was her first crossdresser though.  We tried on dozens of wigs looking for the one that made me look my best.  I ended up ordering a wig from her as while they had a style I liked they did not have the color in stock.  I was so happy with my experience I left my first google review as Diana.  Look for the "The Wig Shoppe" in Brentwood TN in google maps.  PS the picture of me in the review was done on a Face App.

Reply
Posts: 1334
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Male me hates shopping. I go into town for new clothes and it's a couple of T shirts, pair of jeans some socks and that's it, let's get out of here, I'm bored. But when Becca goes shopping, it's a whole new ball game: jewellery shops, perfume, clothes, shoes; the list goes on.

Going back to the time before the internet, my mother used to have catalogues like Littlewoods and I would peruse the underwear sections as a youth looking at the scantily-clad models there, although it was only for sexual gratification, I didn't really have any desire to wear the items until much later on; much, much later on.

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!