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The past few months I have been trying to build my courage to come out to my parents. I have been trying to find opportunities to tell them when I was visiting them. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents and they always have been loving and kind to me. They are open minded, yet I am not sure about how they think about crossdressing or transgenders. So every time I set out to tell them, I ended up with going home without sharing my secret.
Today I finally build the courage. So I took my car and drove to them on a surprise visit. When I arrived they were indeed suprised to see me and asked me how I was. Without giving it too much thought I said I wanted to tell them something. My mom was in the kitchen, and my dad in the living room, so I had to wait a bit. She started to ask whether it was about our children, my work, I said I had to share something about me.
When we sat down I started my story. When I told them I am trans, my mom jumped up and gave me a hug. My dad reacted surprised but cool. They both were so sweet and asked why I had kept it for so long, that it must have been a burden for me to keep it a secret for all my life. I am so happy I told them, because they are more than supportive. We talked for hours, as they started to ask me questions. My mom kept hugging me, visibily moved with my lifetime struggle. My dad told me how he did not understand, but how he accepts and supports me. It almost felt it was not a big deal for them, in a positive way. And that they are more worried about me feeling ok and that I get supported.
My dad explained me he would find it hard to learn if I would want to transition in future, as he would feel he would lose his son and has to get to know a new person. I told him how I am trying to find a balance between my male and femme side.
This day has been such a relieve, I never would dreamt that my parents would be so understanding and supportive. Worrying more about the fact I had to keep this a secret and being on my own with this for all my life. I know I am fortunate with such a loving reaction and their support. It has been one of the hardest things I have done in my life and I am glad I did. Their support is amazing, but more importantly knowing their feelings and being able to talk about the full me has lifted a weight of my shoulders.
When I left, my mom hugged me again and said "now I have a daughter as well". This one sentence, their unconditional love, is so amazing and gives me so much strength and confidence. I just can't thank them enough for being here for me.
hugs, Liv
Lifted that burden off your shoulders its like breathing again care free. Proud of you. 😌
Hi Liv. I am sooo happy for you...I know that took real courage. I think a lot of us who worry what others might think find that their worry has been for nothing. Yes, that does not happen in a lot of cases. In these days...the kids and lots of adults are subjected to "information" and are not ignorant of this type of behavior. I say to girls.....when you are ready in your mind.....do what you must do....don't keep things bottled up. I pray that you are well received.
Dame Veronica
I told my mom, and sister, they are both very supportive.
Hi Liv,
Well done, I know it must have been very hard to summon up the courage to talk to your parents, and I'm so pleased for you that you have had a positive result. Sadly I never had the chance to talk to my Mum about my crossdressing, I'm pretty sure she knew but we never discussed it, I would like to think she would have supported me in a similar way to your parents have. It must be a great relief and I sure every one here at CDH is pleased for you, I know I certainly am.
Andrea
@Rochelle, I am so glad you have support from your mother and sister. M
y mom told me now it made sense. She had found me as a youngster at the attic with her clothes. I had told her it was in preparation for carnival. I can't remember, but she had told me then she would always support me. I think I had blocked this experience out of shame.
Liv,
wow such courage, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in terms of openness and understanding. 🙂 thank you so much for sharing your story, I’m delighted for you that they were so supportive!
Dani
Well done Liv, I applaud your courage, and am so pleased for you getting such a supportive response from your parents. It is never easy to keep secrets from those closest to us, you must feel like a load has been lifted off your shoulders.
Bianca
Dear Liv,
I think I heard you mention this some time ago but just happened to stumble upon a reply today.
I know we have discussed the topic since I started coming out to family and colleagues, and I am so happy for you to finally have taken the step with such wonderful responses. Their care for your wellbeing though not totally understanding the reasons are so much similar to the reactions of my own parent's. I know it must have felt fantastic to recieve such confirmation of the unconditional love and support every parent should have for their children.
Love, Marianne
Thank you @Marianne, they are so wonderful. My father has been reading a lot and almost knows more about CD and TG than I do.
hugs and love, Liv
I am glad I came out to my daughter and son-in-law a couple weeks ago, it ended up averting a real disaster. My daughter and family live in a mobile home on my property and occasionally one of them will come to my door and knock once then open the door and enter. Yesterday I received a new dress I purchased online and just had to try it on as soon as I opened it. As soon as I was dressed, I had the dress my wig and ear rings when my son-in-law walked in the back door. Although he knew about it this was the first time he had actually seen me dressed. He was a little embarrassed but it was a lot better than it would have been if I had not came out, at least they had some time to prepare for the sight. This is exactly the reason I decided to come out when I did, I knew in the back of my mind that an accidental exposure was sure to come eventually.
My wife knows, she's ok with it, but does not wish to interact with my female persona except on Halloween when I'm dressed as a fictional character such as a Disney princess. She also said she'd be ok with us going to dinner as Anna and Elsa on our next Disney Cruise. We've commonly dressed as characters on Disney cruises. She's been Ariel and I've been Eric. I've also dressed as Jack Sparrow and Gaston. Our next cruise will the first one I'll be expressing my feminine side as Elsa. Since I've kept my desire to crossdress hidden for 32 years, that character fits me! My blood relatives do not know that I crossdress, and may never know.
Lucky you Christine, getting a chance to be Elsa, out in public.
As she sang, Let it go
It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free
Wow LIV my personal hero! And a happy ending too. Wow!! So happy for you that's amazing. 👍🏽🤗❤️😘
P
That is so awesome Liv. Makes me smile to hear this kind of story. You Have wonderful Loving parents.
