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It’s been 3 months since my Christmas Day dressed with my wife. For those of you who don’t know the story, my sister snapped a selfie photo her and me dressed as Candace ( Charlie s Angel pose). I framed and gave to my wife for Christmas and she chuckled. When she was showering Christmas morning I decided to get dressed up in my outfit I wore in the picture. When she got out of shower she looked startled but somewhat accepting. Anyway for 5 glorious hours I stayed dressed, we had coffee opened presents watched the Yule log it was wonderful. I didn’t want to open up on the holiday so I just let it be but most of you over the last several months have tried encouraging me to tell her since she most likely knows already. Of course the coward in me continues to hold back and in the meantime the angst and hurt grows. I know I need to have the talk soon but I’m just a wimp at this point who really needs strong encouragement advice and a push my from girlfriends here at CDH.
Hugs and Kisses
Candace
I have to think that she knows and is just waiting for you to open up. She evidently is somewhat accepting if you spent five hours dressed in her presence and that is “opening up” to the fullest extent. Why torture yourself? It sounds like you have a wonderful wife that is loving and accepting. I am sure that she has questions so prepare your answers before the “TALK”! If she was totally against you dressing, your little Christmas surprise would have been a disaster. Have a honest and open discussion with your loving wife and you may be pleasantly surprised. My wife and I REALLY enjoy my girly time...... Stephanie
Gen/Candace,
”Writing it down” is very good advice I think. I’m terrible at in person confrontation, and it’s very easy for me to “lose my place” in the flood of emotion so that it becomes a back and forth finger pointing exercise wherein I can’t remember some of the important points I want to make. If you write it down, at least you’ll have a “touchstone” in case peace talks break down! 😂 Then you can tell her, “hey, maybe this is a little too raw emotionally for us to work through in this sitting. So let’s take a break, and i’ll Ask you to read my CDing ‘manifesto’ ( 😝 ) and then we can circle back once you’ve digested my thoughts and feelings on the matter.”
Good luck, and I’ll be praying for you. I admire the fact that you want to work this through with your wife.
God bless,
Steph
i completely understand! I'm trying to find the right time to tell my SO. We buy panties together (on sales, she asks me if there is anything I want), and knows I shave completely smooth. But that's it. My friends here tell me she already knows. I'm not so sure, but, maybe. Find that right moment, quiet, calmly...tell her I guess. I'm looking to hear how it goes
Seriously? She buys you panties and you THINK she MIGHT know? Be open - have the talk. It will feel SO much better, Sweetie.
What works for me is setting a date. "I WILL do this or that on THIS day". Havig the, all be it self imposed, deadline really helps me get the job done, whatever it is. My SO has known since before we got married (I wouldn't let her get into it without ALL the info) She hasn't been 100% supportive, but she knows and goes between joining in and letting it happen out of her sight. But there have been moments where I have had to ask her to join me on a Girls Night Out and the like. So having that deadline really helped me to get the talk started.
Hope this helps, Sweetie.
How about this Candace? “Honey, remember Christmas? I really enjoyed that. I’d like to do that again. What do you think? Love you Dear.”
Best to both of you,
Clara
Yes Steph! I hate confrontation and always forget the points I want to make in the heat of the moment.
Hi Candace,
I'm sorry to hear your situation is still not resolved. You have come out to your wife, and she did not reject Candace...but you will not feel that she has accepted Candace, either, until you have The Talk and learn how much acceptance she is giving. She should be told that Candace is a part of you which you must express, but not in a way which will upset her. How much is too much? You need to know.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Oh Lisa thanks my biggest challenge is getting ting those two sentences out... Can we talk? I like to dress in women’s clothes !
I really believe she knows but I’m so so very nervous!!
Ugh!!
Candace
Oh Clara I love the idea it’s so simple yet for me I am so very very nervous!
I know the sooner I get this out the better both her and I will be , it’s just a matter of me mustering up the courage .
Ugh!
Candace
Julie
i have always been a goals driven person so I love the idea of setting a time table for myself I can only hope when the time comes I can muster up the courage to do it !!
I know this is a few months away but I am going on notice that I setting 7/1 as the end date for the conversation!!
Thanks
Candace
Good luck to you as well Jasmine!!
Steph
You are so right how many wives would walk out of the shower on Christmas morning to find her husband dressed as a woman sitting on the couch and not freak out... a caring loving woman such as mine!!
I’m just so darn nervous . Do you think another attempt to dress up and then have the talk as Candace would help?
Hi Candace . I think you are in a good spot. After your time together Christmas morning I think you know she isn’t going to totally freak. She has seen you that way already it’s not going to blind side her. I would be surprised if she doesn’t already suspect you like to cd. She’s probably waiting for you to say something to her about it. She’s might be as nervous about it as you. Just try to be honest and gentle with her and besides you don’t want her to find your stash of clothes on her own(if you have any) then she will likely se it as a betrayal. Then you will have to have a really awkward conversation.
