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So today I was at Barns & Noble getting some books fully dressed and made up, slacks, pull over blouse, long cardigan and cute wedge strap on sandals. I had nothing but positive interactions with the staff while they helped me find several books and nobody in the store seemed to notice anything amiss with the tall lady shopping. Even had a pleasant chat with one of the ladies helping me…. And then I left.
So here is where I found out what “real” women have to deal with. As I was walking across the parking lot three rather scruffy looking men started calling out to me and making comments. Although these comments had no indications they were dealing with anything other than a single woman in the parking lot their directness was a little disconcerting. I ignored them and walked on away at which point one of them yelled out “stuck up cu*t” and a few more things I wasn’t listening to. I have been going out dressed for close to 30 years and this was the first time I was ever uncomfortable or worried.
Sadly my thoughts after leaving and making sure I wasn’t followed was that this is what “real” women have to deal with all the time. I have always had a great respect for the fact women must be more careful than men, but I guess I got a taste of feeling like a “real” woman today. Ladies be careful out there but don’t let the idiots keep you locked up, women deal with this every day so watch out for them when your out in man drag, you never know where the next idiot will strike.
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Unfortunately that is part of being a woman. Despite MeToo, feminism, women's rights, ERA, and everything else, women are still too often seen as nothing more than objects of desire and treated accordingly. I can't tell you how many times I have had way too direct encounters and comments like that. Some men even seem to think that when they say those things to women they are complimenting them!
Cynthia I hope no woman has ever felt I spoke to her in that fashion, but you are correct. I have had comments, cat calls and come ons, but nothing ever this degrading and trashy.
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That's terrible, Carolyne!! I hate to hear that happened to you, but it does make us realize what GG's have to go through a lot and that is VERY unfortunate. Why can't people just be nice to each other? I just don't get it!
*kisses* tara 🙂
I had this very same discussion with a GG friend just last weekend. I mentioned how I feel "safer" out in public if I believed I pass as a GG. I shared that I worry about being seen as "a guy in a dress" and the consequences that can bring about. She then told me of the fears SHE has when out, needing to keep her keyes in hand when she's crossing a parking lot, wondering if she needs to cross the street when a man is approaching her on the sidewalk. This opened my eyes to a whole new set of difficulties.
I usually sign off my blog with this phrase - which seems more appropriate in this context.
Stay Safe And Pretty, Sweeties.
Julie I have always heard all those things they tell women about keys out, stay in lighted areas, avoid encounters in remote areas…. I try to keep those things in the back of my mind when out and about, but after this I will definitely try a little more to keep them front and center and be teaching my daughter a little more aggressively about all these things. I used to think my wifey was over doing it with her but not now. I guess I may have just become an over protective “mom” as well.
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They are what they are, sad men who's lives have led to them hanging around in parking lots entertaining themselves by cat calling women. Thankfully it wasn't furthered. We have to think about our safety when out alone, where we park, safe areas and always having a cell phone with us. It is a rare event for women but it is still in their minds. In my early days of going out alone I did get some 'is it or isn't it moments but there was no consequence to it. I have only had one direct incident similar to Carolyne's but it was in a street with a few other people about and I told the miscreant to pack it in and he did.
Don't let isolated incidents like this stop you going out, just exercise caution.
Angela I have to agree, don’t let them ruin it for you and keep you from going out. After all these years of going out without any incidents it was just quite a shock. I guess I just need to up my “Spidey Girl” senses and be more prepared for dealing with men.
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Hi Carolyne sorry had to deal with that Know sometimes deal with it too but usually just keep walking. Do need to have some kind protection if something would turn for the worse. Carry this small stun gun in my purse does put out enough current to break the attack off. Best if had someone with you if going to places with no lighting or no one around. Been few times where lead them to believe interested and they got scared and ran off.
Above all know your surroundings whereever you are. Like the quickest way to get away.
Be careful out there ladies. Sometimes it a jungle but don't let it stop you from doing what want to do.
Another thing maybe take a class or something to learn how to defend self from would be attackers.
Donna
Donna all great ideas and information. As for self defense I was quite proficient many years ago but as I have worked to slim my figure and lose weight I have noticed it has definitely effected my strength and power. Guess learning some defensive techniques more geared for those of slighter build and strength would be a good idea. Big strong man techniques dont work for more feminine body structure.
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You're awfully generous, Carolyne. You referred to those human specimens as "idiots".
Why not tell it like it is - worthless pieces of sh_t.
Many of our sisters are way too brazen about their public appearances. A woman alone is always vulnerable; a CD/TG woman alone is especially vulnerable.
Be CAREFUL.
Diane
Believe me since being on HRT my male strength has almost gone still able to do my Job and all with some heavy lifting but been asking for help too. My self been taking little bit of Karate at yellow belt now still able to take down a guy in class that twice the build. Plus many tech to make someone fall quick and pass out enough to get away. for min.
Doing all this so can survive and protect myself once transition to woman will have the knowlege and the strength think to succeed in the world.
Donna
Diane all I can say is, your right, unfortunately about everything.
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Carolyne, I'm going to send you a PM.
Diane
Caroline, glad it turned out ok for you. Experiencing and understanding the fear and precautions women must take gives all of us a better opportunity to raise awareness amongst men when we can. Thank you for bringing this up and all of the good advice from the replies.
