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The topic of this post isn’t a typo. Yes I said drab. I wanted to share a recent experience I had meeting another cd for the first time in my life. I have been dressing since childhood and as much as I’ve enjoyed it, it’s been somewhat lonely. Ive always wanted to meet another like minded person to simply chat and share experiences with. I’ve never been out in public, never met another similar person face to face. I’ve found many folks here that share my “hobby” but not many that are in the same place in life or live close enough to actually meet with in person. I did find one here on cdh that was my same age, similar family situation and obviously shared an interest in dressing. A few months back we talked about meeting up sometime dressed but the timing wasn’t right and neither of us were ready quite to go out into a social atmosphere dressed(ie restaurant or bar). I felt my window of opportunity closing, I so wanted to meet her that I suggested we meet up in drab. This wasn’t how I wanted to meet another cd for the first time but it might be the only way at the present time. I did feel like we broke some kind of cross dresser rule by meeting this way but I am so glad we did. We ended up going out for a drink and just talking for a couple of hours. I can’t describe how great it was to finally meet another dresser in person, even if we were both in guy mode. She was an awesome person and we hit it off well. Hopefully we will do it again soon and maybe even en femme at some point. Some here might feel meeting this way defeats the purpose but to me simply talking openly with another dresser even in drab was well worth the compromise. Taking selfies of myself in the mirror was getting old I must confess and walking around the mall enfemme as much as I’d like to, is no substitute to meeting a kindred spirit in the flesh. Anyway has anyone ever met another Cd this way? If you have how was it? Did you feel like you were breaking cross dresser etiquette? If you haven’t met another dresser I can’t stress enough how great a time I had and how much I suggest for you to do it(in a safe atmosphere of course).
I have met with and made friends with a CD while in drab. We got together for coffee to feel each other out before to dressing together. A good way to size up any risk factors that may pop up.
No need to fret MelanieElizabeth, you didn't break any CDer etiquette rule. Everyone has to come "out of the closet" at their own comfort level. Back in September 2018, I attended my very first CD/TG support meeting in drab; because I wanted to test the atmosphere. I was welcomed with open arms and at the next meeting I debuted fully dressed en fem.
Now that you've met this fellow "sister" and have established a repore with her, maybe the two of you can meet-up presenting as women. I wish you good fortunes and welcome to the CD public social world.
A good start nonetheless and having a cd friend to do things with is a big step. Out together is a feeling of confidence and thrill
Melanie, I have done just that on several occasions and think it is one of the best ways to meet someone that you don't know in a safe environment and have the opportunity to get to know them in a way that I'm not sure could happen if you meet dressed especially if you are not used to going out that way. I know but I am more relaxed in drab and can concentrate on chatting without fear that's what those around us are saying about us. My experiences have turned out great and on a few occasions we met several times before we met dressed. I would highly suggest this method of meeting someone you don't know. It is safe casual and can lead to a great friendship.
Renee
I have a few local friends, so far, only communicating with through CDH that I would like to get together for beer and wings. I would also meet in drab as I am also not ready to go out on public.
I think it is great you were able to do this. I hope I get the opportunity soon as well.
To me it is the person, not how they look that is important. If they are supportive and excited about the same things you are then everything later is icing on the cake. For me, it is about finding someone who is accepting of who I am in all presentations.
My scenario brain kicks in and thinks about the couple at the next table listening to the conversation.
"I have the hardest time getting good fitting bras!"
"Me To!".
Melanie, so great! There are no rules and exactly like you, i wish to meet another in drab just to talk. Somehow forge perhaps even a friendship to go hunting or fishong so we could have more time to talk.
15 years ago there was a woman in line behind me in the grocery and we started chatting. I knew she was one of us but treated her not unlike any other. Paid, left. But as i got to my car i realized i wanted to talk to her so badly. Could i fing her? No! I went back everyday for two weeks at the same time....never saw her again.
Later a went to a ladies night out. Still just underdressing. It was so fun just to sit and share storied. That was only twice and some distance away. But then i couldn't as there was a time conflict.
So yeah, would love to have that experience. And i hope to again some time. Who gets us as much as nother sister?
Melissa
Done that few times myself met this guy when was dressed with friends then next date met not being dressed. He knew of my lifestyle and accepted it at the time.
I have met other cds and tgs while in drab many times over the years. It is a nice feeling being with someone that knows your deepest secret regardless of how you are dressed.
Yours Terri
Hi Melanie,
I have met a couple CDH members for the first time in drab and I feel its a good safe way to meet the first time.
many of us are in the closet and its a safe way to meet and it takes the edge off a bit if your really in the closet.
I came on here yo hopefully meet real friends that accept me for who I am and develop life long Friend ships .
I have met many and a couple I have had the privilege to meet in person.
So many girls on here will not let their internet shield down so I know how hard it is to meet face to face.
I think you totally did the right thing.
cherish that friend ship
Hugs Patty
Hi Melanie! No, I do not think you broke any etiquette that I know of. Haven't even heard of a book on proper etiquette when meeting another CD or TG. I would give my left testicle to meet some of my sisters here! Drab shmab. For my tg sisters anyway I know you, talk to you, see you, and think of you as the female you are. I'm not going to let the fact that they - like me - are stuck in the man shell body change how I see them. I can see right through that. The big thing is being able to meet with your fellow sisters. Now, of course I would like to meet en femme but I would rather meet drab than not at all! If you do hang with each other often enough you are bound to see the drab side at some time.
Stevie
It is something that I wish would happen, a great sharing opportunity.
Debbie
I think this is a great story and it doesn’t “defeat the purpose” (if there is even such a thing) Although if there was an ‘official’ purpose it should be all about finding acceptance and making connections.
If I could meet someone similar to myself, in drab or not it would be wonderful.
Thanks for sharing.
As the other half of this, it took me a day to appreciate the significance of it: the only other person I've ever spoken to about crossdressing from my male voice is my wife, and that really that shouldn't be. Wanting so badly to meet en femme, makes meeting in en homme a step or a possibility that is easy to skip over in our minds, and easy to underestimate the importance of. There is so much insight into each other and ourselves that can come from seeing the whole person.
