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Posts: 358
Lady
Topic starter
(@paulahere)
Honorable Member     St Thomas, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Ladies,

So events of the last few weeks have removed the last barriers for me to be out of the closet, out of the house and out in the world all the time now.

One of my biggest fears was being discovered.  That happened, by my wife, by my job, by my child.

After 3 years of knowing about Paula and Paula getting more adventurous,  brazen as she would put it, my wife has decided to leave.  The stress that caused our Daughter made her want to talk with her Ganny, my Dad's wife. So I had to come out to dad and his wife.  This felt great went done. Next was some other family members, cousins,.  This went great.  Next was my Mom, after the initial shock Mom is fully on board.

Wife has been telling people. Her freinds are supporting her.  Most are trying to get her to see a way to stay. Some are just being there for her. My family, mom dad, cousins have all reached out in support for her as well.

So last experiment, dress at work, while meeting the safety rules around Personal protective equipment, we are a metal forming and welding factory, so need to be covered.

Fist outfit was just jeans and t-shirt, with light makeup.  The HR team went to the closet of pro.otional items and got me 4 new tops to wear.

I have worn them all in to work with skinny jeans, ladies dress pants, and have changed to a more noticeable lip colour.  The neves were high, but the gender euphoria was higher.  

I had to put in a suite for an event at my Daughers university. Very nice suite, very uncomfortable being out in it.  I hope that is the last time I will be in men's clothing.

I never want to put on men's clothing ever again.  

I have asked my friends and family to start calling me Paula, every one is doing their best there, 54 years with the old name, so it is going to take time for people to.switch.

I am going to the lawyer today, en femme and will ask her to call me Paula. DENTIST ON Monday,  will be giving them my preferred name.

Going into the college personal site to change my preferred name and pronouns.   

Have changed my profile picture on my computer at my full time job.  

I have never been so happy.  I am going through a separation form a woman I have been with for 36 years that I still love with all of me, yes that is very painful. But I am still happier than before coming out to everyone I know.

Work is sending me to Knoxville TN for a week soon, and I have looked up LGBT friendly placed to eat and go out a couple of nights.  It looks like it will be a fun time.

Coming Out has been the best thing I have ever done.  I should have done this when the urges started.

The next  in decision will be is this just a social transition or am I going to take medical transitioning on.  I am not a fan of taking medicine.   The idea of taking hormones for the rest of my live does not sound like fun. The idea of removing parts of me, it think I would be OK with.  If my wife has no use for it then neither do I.  But can't get surgery without hormones.  

Looked it up last night, to get.surgery covered, I need to live as a woman for a year and be on hormones for a year, I will also need two referral letters, one from a medical Dr, and one mental health professional. 

I am in therapy now. I done seem to have much in the way of body disphoria, I do get gender euphoria from presenting as a woman. I do get Uncomfortable and look dad or angry to other while in men's clothing.

Wife want to know if I am going to medically and legally transition to woman.  All she see when she looks at me is a woman, she said then she married is no longer here.  I have told her I think about full transition,  but at this moment I don't see it. But I can't say never.

I know a long rambling post.

I wanted to share what is happening in my world.

Love and Hugs to all.

Paula

 

 

 

 

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4 Replies
1 Reply
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@paulahere 

Good for you, Paula. Hope all goes smoothly for you and you can get your goals clearly in your mind. Keep us posted on your progress, I am in a very similar situation. I am presenting as Cassie ALMOST all the time, but have some concerns about hormones and surgery. 

Cassie 

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Wow Paula how do you explain a whirlwind as it happens! Now it is time for the 'clearup'.

Firstly it is sad but fully understandable your wifes reactions, it's tough for her but at least she is getting support from the family. It is also hard for them as this isn't the person they have known for life but are going with it which is lovely. 

The whole of your rambling shows a great level of acceptance and accommodation to your needs which gives you space and stability to work out what to do next and everyone around you to get used to Paula around.

Taking the bull by the horns is never easy but the turmoil inside you wouldn't be good to keep in as that causes issues for yourself. 

What's done is done now and you are in a much happier place and maybe once the dust has settled your wife may have a better understanding. As for medical interventions that is for you to decide as you have plenty of time.

Thank you for posting this as it reads that you have released the valve and are going to live a much happier life.

My best wishes to you.

 

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Posts: 140
(@gisellereeves)
Estimable Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Paula i hope and pray everything works out for you and your family

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Posts: 2116
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Paula -

Happy for you. Thank you for sharing your story. Best of luck moving forward.

XOXO
Suzanne

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