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So I had a funny experience awhile back that I meant to share but hadn't gotten around to until now.
I had just gotten out of my car and was headed up the sidewalk to work when I see a couple coming towards me. They had just gotten off the bus and seemed like they'd come from the poorer side of town (to put it kindly). As we got closer I could see them notice me and they seemed to say something to each other. There wasn't any way to avoid them without walking my spike heels across the grass so I just thought, "here we go ...."
The guy came up to me and asked, "sir, can I borrow your phone?" The reason he gave was really suspicious so I said no and suggested another way he could do what he needed. Then he complimented me on my outfit and started asking me who I was and where I worked. When he asked my name I gave him my male name (first only) and told him I work here at the university.
After that, the lady with him said, "what's your other name? What's your name today?" I suppose she was asking for my femme name and maybe trying to validate my outfit choices that day. It was odd but I try to think she was being kind. I just repeated my male name and said that was all she needed. As I tried to break away and continue to my building. The guy stepped in front of me and said, "there's no way those are real," I'm thinking, "hair, breasts?" But I just said "what?" And he's like, "your teeth! There's no way they're real, they're so straight and clean, they can't be real!"
I put my hand on his shoulder and gently, but firmly pushed him out of my way and said, "I really need to get to work, have a good day," as I was walking away he called after me, wanting me to look back at him. He yelled, "hey look at this!" Like he wanted to show me something but I just ignored him. In my mind I was like, "I don't even want to know."
The whole thing was super weird. I think maybe they were trying to steal my phone, or pull some kind of other conn and just have really poor social skills. I never felt like I was in danger, it wasn't scary at all, just really awkward. I suppose at first maybe they thought I'd be an easy mark ,"guy in a dress will be a sucker if we're nice to him," but maybe when they got closer and realized I was much taller than them they assumed that any guy who's six foot tall and willing to crossdress in a very conservative backwater probably isn't afraid of much and shouldn't be messed with. LOL, I'm not much of a fighter but who knows what they were thinking. Maybe they thought in heels I wouldn't be able to catch them running away with my phone ( FYI, even with the head start while I took my shoes off, there aren't many people who would get way from me). Part of me wants to hope they thought I was a woman at first and then when they realized the truth as I got closer it threw them off and they didn't know what to say or do after that.
Everyone in the department that day (and my students later in class) had a good laugh over it.
So, while I guess I don't pass that well (no surprise, lol) my teeth are nice anyway.
Well, girl you can get a pair of Louboutins for ~$1K. Perfect teeth will run you 5x-10x that! 😉
An odd encounter, but I suspect your instinct was correct (it usually is). Good to know that if I wanna swipe your phone, I'd better have a getaway car at the ready! 😉
- Lol, my phone is so cheap that if a girlfriend needed it, she could have it.
Wow, that would have rattled me a bit. I must say, you handled it well, especially considering how persistent they were. You never know what people might be up to. Lend a stranger my cell phone? Ha! That ain’t never gonna happen.
In truth, I am seldom approached by strangers (if ever?) when I am out. Like you I am tall, and let’s say athletically built, so maybe I am just scary.
Odd encounters of the strange kind get me curious, but getting out of danger or risk is my first priority. It is very peculiar why that happened. Between mental health issues, drug use, just crazy people, and just strange people, it's hard to know what people are up to. When it starts off strange, it's hard to dig in with a conversation.
On the other hand, I have had some interesting conversations when things started off with a hi or a compliment with strangers. I feel lucky in those moments to get a glimpse into something different.
@lea-jhene yeah, I really try not to be judgemental, (and usually fail.) In this case I would have been happy to talk if they had seemed interested in pursuing a normal conversation. I left a lot of what they said out of my story and just focused on the funny bits. The lady seemed to have it together more than the guy, I don't know that I could have had much of a conversation with him in any circumstance.
I don't think I pass at all, but I think I look nice enough (and live in a conservative area) so that probably people may often assume I'm just an ugly lady, but they say things to hear my reaction as a way of figuring it out. I remember one time passing someone on the stairs and just as I was just about out of site she said, "I like your dress," I said, "thanks, me too," and that was it.
I think that in my area, people are so surprised that whatever their motives or feelings about gender may be, the surprise of seeing me takes time to process and so it maybe that's why things seem weird.
Your instinct was correct, this probably wouldn't have turned out well. I would have kept on walking and politely said something like "Sorry, late for a meeting".
I'm immediately suspect of any stranger who approaches me in this way, whether I'm en femme or in drab. This is not the way a person that did not have some other motive would approach someone, and you are right perhaps they thought because you were crossdressed you would be an easy mark. You handled it very well, and perhaps were more patient than I would have been.
I'm also quite glad you never found out what he wanted to show you.
Sarah -
Sorry you had an experience like that, glad it worked out for you.
XOXO
Suzanne
Years ago, the only time that I was ever asked to use my phone was at night while I was going through a park. I don't think that my phone was even visible.
The person said that he wanted to call his mother. OK, if you say so. While I was probably fit enough to chase him for a while, there was no way that I was going to put me or my phone in any more danger, so I just said something like no and walked on.
Coincidentally, my wife was asked, recently, for her phone by an older lady while they were standing at a bus stop at a casino. She let her call our local assisted bus transport and she dragged the conversation on and on until a regular bus came and my wife had to get on it. If you can afford to go to a casino, lady, then get your own phone!
@harriette lol, maybe she could afford to come to the casino, but couldn't afford to leave it.
Reading your story red flags went up for me. You were potentially in danger from a battery, theft or worse. Be careful out there, glad you are OK. And have fun... S
Agree with Staci. Lots of red flags. I admit that I have a heightened sense of mistrust from years of living in tough neighborhoods. I would never engage in sketchy conversation with a complete stranger or allow them to hinder my movement. Always best to keep moving in situations like this. Wearing flats on the street/heels in the office isn't a bad idea either. In any event, I'm glad nothing came of it and you're okay.
/EA
Hi Sarah,
That sounds like a very odd and unsettling experience, especially with them being so persistent.
I can only imagine what he wanted you to look at.
Aurora Lynnette
