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Going out, but in « secret »

6 Posts
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Posts: 14
Lady
Topic starter
(@sweetchloe)
Eminent Member     Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

I am at a stage where I feel confident enough about myself to go out en femme. My wife knows about the crossdressing but she doesn’t want to see me en femme, and my (young) kids obviously don’t know. In fact, no one knows about my CDing except for sales associates at 2 stores and a makeup artist I am seeing.

Chloe needs to go out, see the world and show that she exists ! But I am thinking about the logistics and I am puzzled. First : I need a location where I could change clothes back to drab and especially remove makeup, which takes a considerable amount of time. Second : While I feel great about going out shopping en femme alone (and thank god for face masks), going to a restaurant, bar, karaoke, etc alone I am not too sure. Safety concerns, and sharing a lunch with myself is kinda boring. Hence, who do you go out with when no one knows? How do I meet people like us? (Let me remind you that I am married with young kids, so going out in drab with friends can even be a challenge at times).

If my wife goes back to the office this Fall instead of working from home, I envision that any activity between 9 to 5 could be done, so that I would have  the house to myself to go back home, change myself and remove makeup before the kids and wife get home. Shopping between 9 to 5 is great : shopping malls are much less crowded. Or lunch by myself: the feeling of going out en femme, whatever activity is certainly awesome. But certainly no bars for dancing or karaoke...

Any help here would be appreciated, on outing ideas, logistics, meeting people, etc.

Chloé

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5 Replies
Posts: 157
Lady
(@kokomo)
Estimable Member     Hamilton, Auckland, New Zealand
Joined: 5 years ago

Hey Chloe, It appears we are in the same situation. I too have young kids so my dressing is limited to evenings then they are asleep or when they are away during School Holidays. That time during the Holidays is normally for  3- 7 days away so those are my chances to get dressed for longer periods and have been over the last couple of terms my chance to put on my brave panties and head out in the public.

My walk about each time has been to a town not far away from where I live and has only been for a walk through their local park, which has been mostly empty when I was there. If I had any skills with make up I might consider going to more public locations but this is as far as my public outings has gone.

I envy you looking to go further with your time in the public domain. Is there a reason you cannot leave and return home dressed. I assume it would be easier to remove make up at home?

Sarah

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Posts: 1194
(@qtestephy)
Noble Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Chloe A good place to start is here in CDH  Trangender Friendly Places Near Me I know most crossdressers do not feel they a represented under the LGBTQ Flag but we are there by default. Most trans people started their journey with cross dressing but decided it just was not enough to make them happy. Since being transgender is now politically popular then look under transgender places near the city you currently live. Long before the internet I found a private club that had a place that you could dress at the club and leave your clothes and make up there until the next time you visited the club. Trying to think back I found this place by visiting a store that sold clothes for cross dressers. I was talking with the sales girl and she referred me to a pamphlet for this club looking for members I would have to believe all that communication takes place over the internet through social media. I live by a theory I found very useful SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND

Luv Stephanie

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Posts: 1264
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

So excited for you Chloe.

Try to get as organised as possible the night before, make a list if you want, what Chloe needs to get ready to go out is ten times more complicated than going out in male mode!

Pick an outfit the night before and stick to it. The times I have changed my outfit six times🤣🤣🤣and wasted an hour of my precious Bianca outdoors time!

Be confident, chin up chest out, make casual eye contact, smile, and try to relax!

Be on watch for possible awkward situations and take action to avoid them, eg cross the road away from a bunch of teenage boys who may be out to look big to their buddies by insulting others.

Try not to worry, you are doing nobody any harm or breaking the law. If you are brave enough  interact with sales assistants, they have always treated me with respect, some are curious, some are thrilled and full of praise.

Have a fabulous time❤️

❤️Bianca

 

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Posts: 14
Lady
Topic starter
(@sweetchloe)
Eminent Member     Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

She does not want to see me en femme. We both don't want the kids to see either. Yes it would be so much simpler to change and remove makeup at home, but it would only be possible if the house is empty.

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Posts: 157
Lady
(@kokomo)
Estimable Member     Hamilton, Auckland, New Zealand
Joined: 5 years ago

That makes sense, it is the same here. My kids are too young to understand and if it was to become public then there is the possibility of them being bullied at School because of my Crossdressing. This is something that is always at the back of my mind.

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