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Had talk number 2 with wife about dressing… she’s the best!

29 Posts
22 Users
119 Reactions
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Posts: 122
Lady
Topic starter
(@ginger1968)
Reputable Member     Intercourse, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

So as those of you know from my recent post my wife accidentally found out about my dressing and the results were beyond my wildest expectations.  One of the things we discussed was for both of us to continue to ask questions when we think of them as well as just saying can we talk. Well anyway on Friday night I initiated a can we talk conversation (simply wonderful again)!

We talked for 2 hours! The reason for my conversation was to take her thru my complete evolution of my crossdressing from when it started to the reasons of its continuation. I told her about events in my early life that made the dressing a safe place for me. I explained as I got older and responsibilities grew and pressures from family and work made me want to feel even safer hence continuing to dress.

I explained now in my life how dressing at home is safety , comfort and many others it was just that no desire or need for anything else ( which she said she was relieved and happy to hear) I explained that I have been out dressed to coffee shops, gas stations etc. and the affirmation of being Ginger that have received from people has become very important to me. I told her that it was hard to explain without being sexist but being able to be vulnerable as women made me feel special. (As you can see I emptied my bucket)

 

She was wonderful simply wonderful. She said she understands fully and really really appreciated me sharing in detail about my journey. She said “ I’m not going anywhere and as long as you want me I plan on spending another 35 years with you. I cried she held me and said I’ll never have to worry and she loves talking for it helps her to understand and learn more. My God what did I ever do to deserve this woman!! 

We talked more over coffee yesterday I talked about the number of times I purged, the secretly order more and approximately how many thing I threw away and she got angry which scared me. I said I’m so sorry about talking about the clothes and she said I quote. I could care less about the clothes, you threw away the money silly you should have kept the clothes. We laughed and here’s the kicker, yesterday at her stern demands I was told in no certain terms that I was to spend the day online buying new clothes (8 new dresses on the way, shoes,lingerie, etc) and this morning she said you better not forget to buy yourself all new makeup as well. Suffice to say I had the best time shopping knowing I no longer have to do it in hiding any longer!! 

Any way I’m truly blessed and for those many of you who told me from the beginning that honesty was the best approach could not have been more right, thank you so much!

Unfortunetly the one downside was my wife told me the clothes are coming out of my monthly clothing budget, and I said oh well and she chuckled!

 

Thanks again everyone!

 

Hugs,

Ginger👄

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28 Replies
12 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5194

@ginger1968 

She said “I’m not going anywhere and as long as you want me I plan on spending another 35 years with you."

I know it goes without saying, but treasure this woman.

And Ginger ... treasure yourself for being so honest and courageous.

You rock.

Big hugs

Ellie x

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Lady
(@ginger1968)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Intercourse, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 122

@ellyd22 thanks Elle

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Lady
(@ginger1968)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Intercourse, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 122

@ellyd22 I just wanted to say thank you Elle for all your support you’ve been wonderful

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5194

@ginger1968 

Support is what CDH is all about, and I'm glad to have been of help along the way 🙂

It sounds like wonderful times lie ahead!

Heart

Ellie x

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Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@ginger1968 Ginger, that's wonderful news. Especially that your wife is so accepting. 

xxx

Jamie

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2150

@ginger1968 

You can thank your wife for all of us, Ginger. She is the type of spouse we all wish we had. Being out and honest with those around us can remove so much stress. Wishing both of you MUCH happiness. 

Cassie 

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 Lacy
Duchess
(@rholtman96)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Lincoln city, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 198

@ginger1968 I'll say it again, we are so lucky to have married a person who loves us for who we are and not what we wear, congrats.

Lacy

P.S. or how we present ourselves

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Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1806

@ginger1968 this is wonderful news!

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(@cdashley)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1488

@ginger1968 That’s great she is supportive hun. It does help out tons having an understanding wife.

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1098

@ginger1968 This is so wonderful to read. Hugs that this keeps going in a good direction.

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Prominent Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 327

@ginger1968 

That's fantastic, Ginger. Looks like you'll be updating your profile 😉

I'm really pleased for you.

 

Emma x

 

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Lady
(@hobby)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Northwest wi, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 83

@ginger1968 Thank you Ginger!  I somehow feel inspired to have a similar talk with my wife.  While she knows I dress its been many years since we were in that presence with each other.   Thank you for your story!

Hugs, Mikki

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Posts: 1301
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Excellent news. It is so much easier once one's SO is on board. Good times to come.

 

Becca

x

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Posts: 1784
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

You are indeed a very lucky person!

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Posts: 1709
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Ginger, this is such a wonderful story, even if it came by accident. Or possibly even more so. Of course you have left a shed load of us closetted girls deeply jealous 😂. It's not going to happen for me 😢. You go girl xx. 

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Posts: 2100
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Ginger -

How wonderful for you to have such a loving and supportive wife. 

One thing my wife and i do is going for mani-pedi's together. It makes for a fun afternoon doing something girly together even if the two of you are the only ones to know. I've gotten color a few times which is fun picking colors out for each other.

XOXO
Suzanne 

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Posts: 1224
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

I am so happy for you Ginger! I truly understand your delight at how things have gone, as my spouse now understands and accepts me as the woman I've always been. We must remember how fortunate we truly are and try to be an encouragement to all our sisters here on CDH.

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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Posts: 630
Lady
(@rhondalee)
Prominent Member     Winston-Salem, North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

This is heart-warming! What a treasure! I have surveyed over 175 crossdressers and compared it to results of others. About 25% of wives are supportive, another 50% tolerant, and the other 25% intolerant. Unfortunately, my wife was in the intolerant 25% and divorced me after over 40 years of marriage. Count your blessings!!! 

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@robyn1408)
Joined: 2 years ago

Reputable Member     Cape Cod, Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 135

@rhondalee Hi Rhonda, so sorry about your marriage, truly. Probably the worst fear many here on CDH have. Most of us desire to have one person in our lives to share and be open with and what better person than the person who we’ve committed our lives to. 
Robyn

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Lady
(@rhondalee)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Winston-Salem, North Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 630

@robyn1408

Thanks for your empathy! I would not wish this on anyone. Most situations work out for the best when secrets are revealed. However the fear of consequences of discovery ARE real. How many would parachute out of a plane knowing that their chute is guaranteed to work even 98% of the time? (OK, I realize most would not jump even if it were 100%, but you get the point.). While I am always delighted with happy endings, and most situations do indeed lead to at least tolerance, if not the level of support received in this case, I would never make a personal recommendation that someone reveal their secret if they are not prepared to accept the consequences if it is not received well. In my case, I thought my wife was at least tolerant, within limits...she would not ever want to go out with me, or to ever seenme made up, and she was ok with my going to church or to support group meetings if fully dressed. She came to accept my dressing from neck down, to a limited degree. So that was amazing, to me, and acceptable. But at some point... probably with urging from friends and a Christian counselor who knew nothing about crossdressing...she became convinced that I could and should stop my behavior and insisted I find someone who could cure me. Had this been a realistic expectation I would have done it, but the counselors we had been seeing said it was not; my wife's counelor suggested I see a counselor who specialized in treating sex addictions; he quickly determined that was not my issue, but tried to work with me anywy. We both gave up after a year or two.

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

You have fond that Unicorn we are all seeking. Keep sharing , communication and enjoying this journey together!  So happy ...and envious of you

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Posts: 602
(@heels234)
Prominent Member     Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Way to go Ginger.....YES.Please keep talking with your wife.You have a keeper there,treasure her .She needs roses and a beautiful card expressing your love and understanding.Now,on a lighter note,which room in your house gets converted to a walk in closet for the both of you?Dual vanities,dual makeup mirrors and please dont forget more shoe racks.? O the possibilities are endless.LOL hahahaha.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@ginger1968)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Intercourse, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 122

@heels234 lol hopefully one day with that closet, but I know we will get there

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Posts: 253
Lady
(@jamietaal)
Reputable Member     DC Metro Area, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

That’s amazing! Communication is everything. I’d be so lucky to have your “unfortunate downside”. 

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Posts: 209
Lady
(@lillie)
Reputable Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

So great, glad all is well.

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Posts: 607
(@caroline2k)
Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

That's fabulous @ginger1968 

I hope you find yourself as happy as I have been since I shared with my partner 🙂 X

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2 Replies
Lady
(@ginger1968)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Intercourse, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 122

@caroline2k it’s been beyond my wildest dreams I couldn’t be more happy , I’m truly blessed having such a wonderful caring compassionate understanding supportive ( I could go on) wife!

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(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 607

@ginger1968 

Haha, yes I know what you mean Ginger. I often run into excessive hyperbole when describing my own wonderful girlfriend. 😁

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