Hi girls I have a question

I made a major mistake in my early twenties.  There was a girl that would of accepted Charlene, but my pride said no as she was not the most attractive.  She and I were the same height and could of shared clothing.  I would of been really happy if I just made the write decision.  I don't think I would of transitioned with hormones and even SRS, but, I would be dressing and living most of the time as a woman.  I could of had a walk in closet full of clothes and heels if I just made the write decision.  We really do pay for our passed decisions.

Andrea, you said it as it was coming out of my mouth.  If I could go back 35 years, I'm sure I would be living as I feel, a woman. I guess I was ignorant because I didn't even know about gender issues.  I just knew I didn't feel right.  Now it is too late to do anything, but dressing does make me feel right. I just wish, I could talk to my wife about it.  She wouldn't understand or support it in any way.  I'm happy this site is here so I don't feel quite so alone.

XXOO Jaime

There are many things I would do differently of course.  Maybe that's because I'm older and have had time to make more mistakes.  Probably the biggest thing I can point to is like the others who commented I would have sought out counseling earlier.  I can't say that I would be living as a woman now if I had because I don't think that is where my true self fully resides.  I'm more on the gender fluid spectrum.  I would have lived my life more honestly, not hiding things from my wife for so long.  I could have saved a lot of pain and turmoil.  Perhaps by being more open and honest earlier I could have been happier earlier as well.

Hi!

I'm pretty sure that I would have sought to transition at an early age if I had known about the possibilities back then.

I , would have transitioned earlier in life if I all the things in life! However , I can't at this age so I dress and an enjoy it with others. As I dressed at a very early age and started my sexual exploration of sexual issues . So, I try to find others who are like me and thanks for CDH and the friends here who have the same issues.

If traveling back in time were possible, I would absolutely have done anything to be the true me, Rochelle. I would, without hesitation start HRT, and SRS. I should have followed my heart, when I could've afforded to.

I suppose having children would be an issue?

Oh my what would I do differently then if I knew what I know now there are so many things it is difficult to name them. I definitely would never have purged as I have several times because now I know that my situation is never going away. It will never change so my best response is to accept the fact that I am transgendered and enjoy it! 😊

One thing I would have done is not purged. The feeling I have may have ups and downs but will never go away.

I thoroughly enjoy dressing as and being a woman. I did not start until age 57 when I went to a costume party as Charley's Aunt. Once I dressed as a woman wearing a beautiful hoop skirt, makeup, silk pantelettes, wig and jewelry, I was sold immediately. I wish that I would have started much earlier in life.  The urgings were coming at an early age but I repressed them. Big mistake.

I will try to answer your question. A transgender woman naturally​ desires to physically identity as a female therefore we want to dress up so that our outward appearance matches our gender identity. In a lot of cases, transgirls have physical bodies that are extremely masculine and it's nearly impossible to be passable even with HRT and surgery. After all we are physically and biologically male and no amount of hormones and surgery will change that fact of nature. All that HRT and SRS will accomplish is to help you to appear more female, feel more female but it will not change you into a female. Not being passable does not change your gender identity. Your gender is hardwired in your brain . And if your physical body does not match your gender identity serious problems can arise such as severe GID and deep depression. What alternatives do you have if you cannot financially afford or not medically eligible for HRT and surgery? There is no one size fits all solution for solving this problem. But I can suggest alternatives. 1. Embrace your gender identity no matter your outward appearance. Use your feminity as a positive asset. Use your feminine sense of style to project your feminity through your male appearance. Change your wardrobe to become more beautiful as a man, add unisex or feminine jewelry such as earrings, bracelets, necklaces, accessories​. Also wear a little bit of makeup to enhance your natural face you will find that your inner girl will love this part and you may have to hold her back a little or she may end up turning you into a diva queen which will not work because your goal is to balance the feminine with the masculine.  You find that your female side will really get into making you into a handsome and beautiful man who embraces both feminine and masculine qualities  You are incorporating both your feminine identity with your male exterior to create a beautiful and confident transexual  person. And most of all you will feel natural and in balance with yourself without the stress of worrying if you're passable Instead people will see your feminity shine through your male exterior and they will love it. You will look good while still being true to your  gender identity And if you want to set aside time to crossdress by all means do it and have fun.  All  of us girls have to spend some time wearing a sexy dress and heels. What I suggest works for me and maybe it will work for you. The only way to know is try doing it.

I hope that this has been helpful.

severere GID and depression and this will require therapy.

If I could go back 30 some odd years I would beg my mother to find a better therapist who did not look upon CD/TG issues as deviations from the norm and try to "fix" me.

On a lighter note I would have taken more time to learn better makeup skills.

Maybe make some friends in the cosmetology department at school, those girls had mad skills.

To all of the girls out there now, if you learn nothing else from us who have been there done that please seek help as quickly as possible and do not be afraid to say to the professional "you are not for me" then go find one who you are comfortable with.

Be COMPLETELY open and honest with who ever you choose, do not hold anything back.

Even if you know you would never act on urges, thoughts or ideas (sexually or otherwise) that pop into your head, let the professional know you are having them so if there ever comes a day you need help they will be ready.

It will help you greatly in the long run, and it will be a very long run but we will all be there along the way to cheer you on all the way to the finish.

Don't become one of us who grew up with regrets and feel it is too late.

Don't settle for content when you have the chance to be happy.

If I could travel back in time, I don't know what I would have changed, maybe nothing, maybe everything?
I'm pretty happy with who I am today, and I'm sure that if I had made different choices in my life, I would have ended up just fine, wherever I ended up.

The ability for a male to transgender to female and have children is a LOT CLOSER than any of us could think. Female reproductive systems have been transferred to males successfully but pregnancy remains elusive..........give these Dr. Frankenstiens a little more time. It is possible to fix the sexual identities in animals, in vitro, as it were. It is unknown if this is ongoing in secret labs.   Lady Victoria Graunwolf

The ability for a male to transgender to female and have children is a LOT CLOSER than any of us could think. Female reproductive systems have been transferred to males successfully but pregnancy remains elusive……….give these Dr. Frankenstiens a little more time. It is possible to fix the sexual identities in animals, in vitro, as it were. It is unknown if this is ongoing in secret labs. Lady Victoria Graunwolf

This (and the moral Dilemma around it) are a LOT farther off that you seem to anticipate.
It is far more likely that you could extract stem cells from a male, grow the female reproductive organs in a lab environment, and then transfer those biochemical components into the male donor body (avoiding tissue rejection issues)  - BUT you would run into incredible problems with The Bio-Chemistry of the donor.
Nano bots crispR/crispX  may make it possible to implant blockers and triggers inside a person to rewrite "identify" them as the other sex, and when combined with the previously mentioned technology, a male being "naturally" impregnated, would be theoretically possible.... BUT, we are likely still decades away from this being developed, and we have no idea what complications will erupt from this.
It is far more likely that the combination of nano bots and stem cell research would extend human life to as much as 1000 years per person before 'natural death' (Imagine living that long "in the wrong sex body" - ouch!