Notifications
Clear all

Hi girls, this is Chrissie.

19 Posts
9 Users
30 Thanks
255 Views
Posts: 405
Baroness
Topic starter
(@chrisfp99)
Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 12 months ago

Β 

Hi you lovely girls. I started writing this in an updated profile but soon realised it was going to be too long and rambling so have dropped it here. Just quite cathartic to get it all off my chest! I quite understand if you give up before half way! Completely normal childhood, no inclination to try on any of my mother's things. Standard teenager, girlfriends, alcohol and sports. Then one day in my early twenties I suddenly experienced an overwhelming desire to put on some lipstick. I can remember that moment as if it was yesterday. I've always wondered where this came from. Perhaps something on TV (appropriate acronym!). Of course I followed up on this urge. This was my first wow moment, and I soon found myself with a very modest collection of makeup and clothes, mostly cheap and rather dreadful πŸ˜‚. I didn't dress much what with work, girlfriends, sports and music (I played in a reasonably successful teenage rock band, and have continued to play in bands all my life). Maybe 20 times. Anyway I got married, dumped all my stuff and hadn't dressed for 35 years. The urge never went away. I probably didn't think about it every day, but maybe every week. I can't say the lack of dressing has blighted my life as I have a wonderful wife and two daughters. But last June my wife and daughters went abroad for 10 days (I don't fly). I'm retired and financially comfortable for the first time in my life. The pink fog descended big time. I ordered two complete outfits, heels, wig, makeup, jewellery and spent a week en femme. The outfits and other stuff was purged before the family returned. I really can't see a way to have female attire stashed in the house without the risk of my SO finding it. I also had an amazing 5 hour makeover in London. Around this time I joined this wonderful community which has been a real source of comfort and inclusion for me. I've just learned that the family are going away again next May. I've already started planning my makeover and home outfits! This will keep me completely titillated over the coming months. I've often wondered if I lived alone whether I would dress full time, and I don't think so. I'm in awe of you ladies who invest such time, effort and money in your feminine pursuits but I don't think I would want to do it full time. I'm also not ready to shave my body or alter myself physically in any other way. Maybe, just maybe, there's a scenario where I might attend a CD event, but generally I'm not thinking of being out in the world. So that's Chrissie, confused, frustrated, repressed but still a bit excited and optimistic about future opportunities to immerse myself in my feminine side.Β 
Β 
Hugs, Chrissie xx.Β 
Β 

Sent fromΒ Outlook for Android

Reply
18 Replies
7 Replies
Lady
(@jameie)
Joined: 4 months ago

Eminent Member     Terre Haute, Indiana, United States of America
Posts: 20

@chrisfp99 Living alone would increase your chances of becoming more fem definitely

Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405

@jameie Joananna, I'm sure you're right. If I were living on my own I would definitely dress more, but not full time. However I have a good marriage and family life and I'm not looking for that to change xx.

Reply
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1767

@chrisfp99 thanks for sharing your story Chrissie.Β  Beings deep in the closet and keeping yourself hidden from your family is a tough place to be. Maybe sometime down the road you will be able to explore like at a costume party (like Halloween) with your wife. Show her your feminine side.Β  Maybe this will break the ice and help you come out at least in part to her????

Β  Good luck.Β  Β  CassieΒ 

Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405
  • @loneleycd Cassie, I don't see any scenario where I could even drop a hint to my wife. I can live with it xx.Β 
Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 93000)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 121

@chrisfp99 Great story Chrissie, Β just be you and satisfy the Chrissie desire as you see fit. Β It’s different for each of us. Β Welcome to CDH by the way!

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 93000)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 121

@chrisfp99 Also, you look great!

Β 

Β 

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 10 months ago

Noble Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1738

@chrisfp99 Thanks for describing yourself, Chrissie. I gathered as much about you from your other posts.

"So that's Chrissie, confused, frustrated, repressed"

Frustrated and repressed? I can see that. Confused? Not a chance. You have both feet firmly planted on the floor. Makes it kind of difficult changing clothes, that's all.

Β 

Reply
Posts: 2300
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi Chrissie. Well same story but different outcome, the urge was always there and later in life the the ability to express the true self comes along. I am sure you would be dressing more if the opportunities came along and maybe you could make decisions to find more time. Enjoy the preparations for next year.

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405

@ab123 Angela, I'd love to find more time to explore my feminine side. We'll see. But I have six months to plan next May. It'll be so much fun! xx

Reply
Posts: 395
Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Honorable Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Chrissie,

Your story is a great illustration that there are millions of points on the gender scale and I think there are very few of us at the exact same point.Β  For myself, I would love to get rid of my body hair and get regular pedicures but I enjoy my male life and am too old and lazy to fully dress on a regular basis.Β 

Β 

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405
  • @michellemybell Michelle, you have nailed my mindset. I'm old and too lazy to dress too regularly. I mean I'm very inexperienced and it seems such a daunting thing to do. Particularly makeup, although I'm always up for giving it a go xx.Β 
Reply
Posts: 576
(@lauren114)
Prominent Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

Like you Chrissie, I repressed my feelings for a long time.Β  In reality, this became a significant source of unhappiness and stress in my life.Β  Β At the time, I'm not sure I realized this.Β  My life was just my life. As I got older, my situation changed and I was finally able to confront my gender identity head on.Β  As a result, I am a happier person and more satisfied with life.Β  My hope for you is that you have the opportunity to explore yourself more in the future and see where it leaves you.

Reply
1 Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405

@lauren114 Lauren, I'm so glad for you that you've found a happy solution. Not that sure exactly where I'm headed xx.

Reply
Posts: 1372
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Noble Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

As noted, we are all different and travel different routes in our CD journey. There is no right or wrong here just what works for you.Β 

I have very recently come to a very happy place in my journey. I am male, but I enjoy some time en femme. My wife knows this and is happy and content. I have no desire to dress full-time or transition in any way. I can wear a dress around the house if I want and do it occasionally, but not too often. I have my other little touch...some not so little like shaved legs, chest, and underarms. I occasionally wear some lipstick and underdress often (panties always, bras often) and this keeps me content.

My point is to find your balance. I am a big believer in being open with your spouse if at all possible, or at least to some degree. I honestly can not imagine hiding such a part of ourselves from the one we love. I know how difficult it is to address this, but hiding such a thing seems so much worse to me. I know I am one of the lucky ones with a supportive spouse, but I can not I.agine living my life with a person who would not want me to be me.

Reply
4 Replies
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405

@jjandme JJ, I'm certain that I can never share with my wife. Given that I will just have to take the occasional opportunities that come my way. This does make those occasions ridiculously exciting though! I'll be planning next May in a massively extended pink fog. Heck, I waited 35 years for my last opportunity, 11 months seems but a moment xx.

Reply
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1372

@chrisfp99 Good luck and have fun, I know you will, but be very careful...most often it's a matter of when, not if a spouse finds out.

Reply
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 12 months ago

Honorable Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 405

@jjandme I'm exceedingly careful, but is there a tiny part of me that sort of hopes I get found out?

Reply
Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 4 years ago

Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 2300

@chrisfp99 Being found out is one risk but then what about coming out Is that a tiny thought, introducing a new hobby for your retirement.

Reply

Β©2024 Crossdresser Heaven |Β PrivacyΒ |Β Terms of UseΒ | Link to us |Β Contact VanessaΒ |Β Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates fromΒ Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?