Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
My wife has been surprising, I have stated we have had and up and down series with my CD. Right now, she is very hot on it. We talked, awhile back, we went shopping and when we were done, I asked what did you get me. She walked back into the store and came out with a new outfit for me, ever since she has been very open in buying new outfits for me. A week ago, we had a dress up day. It was great, we talked a lot about dressing and going out dressed somewhere, but not where we live. With all of the out fits she has purchased, I would love to dress every day, and I think about it a lot. She just purchased another outfit for me, and I said I need a pair of shoes to go with it. Three days later a new pair of shoes arrived.
As I stated earlier, in this post we talked, and we are coming up on our 25th and she wants to do something special. Any help here would be appreciated, talked of Italy, never been there. So, I really do not know much about where to go. Also, during the talk about what she has purchased for me. I really want to go out, since the outfits look really nice, and I do not just want to wear them just at home. I said something about Keystone and maybe we could go, and I could get my thing on. I think she was kind f open to it. Hoping it is a possibility; it would be a first time.
Wanted to ask all, what is your take on all of this? I love what is happing, but should I be careful, for it seems like it is open season, and I would like to make the best of it.
@lillie Hey Lynn, look I'm by no means an expert. Lovely to hear the progress you've made, but I've read a lot of posts about SO acceptance and I've seen stories where the SO can wax and wane. I think the key, and you see it here over and over, is not to rush things. Slow and steady wins the race. Just make sure she's comfortable with every new development. Maintain the dialogue. Emphasise your gratitude for her support. I wish you luck hun. And I'm nowhere near your progress 😂 xx.
@chrisfp99 Yes, I know what you are saying. Thank you for your support. I do love where this is going.
Lynne
My wife has been surprising, I have stated we have had and up and down series with my CD. Right now, she is very hot on it. We talked, awhile back, we went shopping and when we were done, I asked what did you get me. She walked back into the store and came out with a new outfit for me, ever since she has been very open in buying new outfits for me. A week ago, we had a dress up day. It was great, we talked a lot about dressing and going out dressed somewhere, but not where we live. With all of the out fits she has purchased, I would love to dress every day, and I think about it a lot. She just purchased another outfit for me, and I said I need a pair of shoes to go with it. Three days later a new pair of shoes arrived.
As I stated earlier, in this post we talked, and we are coming up on our 25th and she wants to do something special. Any help here would be appreciated, talked of Italy, never been there. So, I really do not know much about where to go. Also, during the talk about what she has purchased for me. I really want to go out, since the outfits look really nice, and I do not just want to wear them just at home. I said something about Keystone and maybe we could go, and I could get my thing on. I think she was kind f open to it. Hoping it is a possibility; it would be a first time.
Wanted to ask all, what is your take on all of this? I love what is happing, but should I be careful, for it seems like it is open season, and I would like to make the best of it.
It is like Melodee says , you have to move the things slow and calm, this up and down I have read most of the times are common in our SO, so take the time and always keep her on first place for everything.
And If I would have to pick an option to enjoy both, I would say Keystone or Italy, depends on who is going to enjoy the most.
On Keystone I think you will be like a fish in the river, I don't know if there are more activities for fun in couple, and in Italy both will enjoy the trip.
You.now have to ponder which one is the right one for both.
Kisses
Odeth
@lillie Hi, I am very new to this, as my SO has recently progressed in their journey, I have always known they have tried on various items either in private or in our bedroom together and when I'm out or away. Lately they have done fuller makeovers and more often and got more into shoes cloths etc. My partner has always had a fem presence online but recently we went out to a party where they could be dressed and with others who were dressed.
I'm sorry to ramble but that is the background to my point here, I fully support and love them, that will never change but and it's a big one this part of them can be incredibly selfish and time consuming and expensive, it sometimes feels like I get lost in it all, the things I like that turn me on. Yes I get jealous. Some of this is still a me problem, but the CD must always bear in mind while caught in their pink fog that partners struggle with their own emotions. xx
@daizymay Thank you so much Daisy. It's incredibly helpful having the views of an SO and I admire your bravery in joining us. I think if a couple are trying to take the man's dressing on board then of course there must be compromises. We should always put our wives' needs and wishes at the forefront of things. We are always at risk of being completely overwhelmed by our feminine side, particularly if our dressing has only just been revealed and we think we have a green light. I so hope you can manage to find a balance. Thank you once again.
Chrissie.
Hi my dear Daisy May
I am absolutely agree in your statement, we cannot be so selfish and wait just having fun and let aside our SO's (I always prefer say wives), the cases of friends mine here at CDH, always there are rules and boundaries they have to respect
In my particular case I don't have the blessing of my wife, so I have to do my crossdressing only in private and a few hours at week.
And if she accepting me , I would suggest a rules to have all in control, like Chrissie wrote in another post.
Right now, to make less expensive the "hobby"I bought some makeup but I share with her, she thinks it is for her , but I'm also using it. when it runs out , I buy it with no doubt.
Anything she need I will buy it, because I thinking buy for both, the same happen with the clothes, if she need something I don't hesitate in buy it, sooner or later I will try on me these clothes I bought for her.
At the end , like you say, it is not just my pleasure, it is about to have my wife happy and complying my role as a husband.
Kisses
Odeth
@lujan2099 That is lovely of you to be so considerate, I'm sorry your dressing has to be so private. Honestly my worries about it are not to do with the cost in monetary terms, but the emotional ones what if my SO's journey leads them in a direction I cannot go.
@daizymay I do think most of us crossdressers are just “part time” girls but there are exceptions. You gotta be you too, and decide what you can accept and how much from your SO.
Personally, if I saw anything on the horizon to upset the apple cart in my relationship, Grace would get jettisoned immediately. I mean seriously, I’m playing dress up here. I’m not going to endanger my happiness with my wife over something so small. Yeah, it’s fun, it’s new, it’s exciting. But if she couldn’t cope then it’s unnecessary. It has to be win/win for both of us or it doesn’t work.
Fortunately for me, it is. There are so many unseen benefits from this. I now have another hobby (that isn’t sports) - to keep me out of her hair. We are definitely not a “cling to each other” couple. We’ve always maintained separate identities and interests….everything doesn’t have to be shared. That said, now we can hit the thrift stores together. More stuff to buy! Yay! I can utilize her expertise in all things feminine. Wives can be great mentors in all this.
My advice is go slow. Discover what you both like or can agree on. If it’s a bridge too far for you - then it’s decision time. Good luck to you two😊
GP
I understand and I feel so sorry when this occur, it is sad to not having in consideration what oir wives feel about it.
If my wife in one moment agree in I do with her blessing, but she said I have to do it when she is not at home and don't want to see me dressed in that way, If this conditions assure her emotional stability, I would do it with no problem, now she doesn't know , I feel happy with that by the moment. But all the issues related with crossdressing in home has to be solved in a wisely manner and and I would be happy to work with her in the solutions.
@daizymay Thanks for this Daisy…I love comments on here from SOs. I fit right into the category of nothing for years and then 0 to 60 in a couple months. I can tend to go a bit overboard at times with myself.
You are TOTALLY correct in saying this CD thing is selfish, time consuming and expensive, depending on how your SO is approaching it all. As I take photos of myself I cannot help but think what a vanity project our crossdressing is. It’s all about us! I agree and your comment is a good reminder for us to just dial it down a bit. For most of us this is just a hobby. I can see wives getting jealous and can’t say I blame you either. Tell your SO to slow his roll when he starts to get too crazy for you. Bring him back down to earth if he can’t do it himself. We can definitely be idiots about this - as we are with a lot of our other hobbies as well.
Every strong marriage is a combination of “give and take” Sometimes a partner will start to take too much so the other one needs to gently remind them, hey, it’s not all about you.
And “girls” as Melodee said, pass up a few opportunies in order to show your wife you’re still the cool dude she married. Balance is ever so important in this circumstance.
GP
Well Lynne,
There's alot to unwrap here. It's great that you're SO is giving you the nessary support.
As others have stated. Slow and steady is a good way to proceed.
In my opinion I think an event such as Keystone would be a great experience for the both of you. My first ever event was this August in Atlanta. Seeing all those wonderful girls like me. I met a few with their SOs. That's a powerful message of support. Plus their were seminars for SOs.
Well that's my 2 cents worth. I hope for your continuous support and understanding.
Fran 🥰
we went shopping and when we were done, I asked what did you get me.
This aspect of your relationship is what stands out to me, as it is very unusual compared to most CDH crossdressers or mine. I don't know the details behind this, so I apologise if I am being blunt here.
Maybe some of your "ups and downs" are related to how much pressure is on your partner. You could address this partly if you would make some of your own crossdressing decisions and purchases. Any relationship that is meant to survive should involve sharing and compromise.
@harrietteharrietteharriette the statement was made if fun. We had talked about it before. So there was no pressure.? My wife is number one. We are very open and two weekends ago we had a great play day
@lillie OK, I could only comment based on what you gave us.
As for Italy, the best time to visit Italy is during the spring (April-May) or early fall (September-October) when the weather is pleasant, the prices are low and the crowds are thin. So long as that matches your anniversary, go for it!
@lillie As for Italy, Venice, Florence and Rome for a few days each is a great Italy 101 trip. There is a lot of history to see in each and you will be amazed. I will guarantee that you will want to go back.
Next.....
It sounds like you are really in a great place with your SO. It must be amazing to have someone who is not only accepting but actively engaged. The best suggestion for the time being is to take it slow with her and let her more or less set the pace. Usually when a SO flips to being non-accepting is cases of too much too soon. It might be best to allow the situation to evolve slowly over time and while you may not get to where you want to be right away, you will get there someday in the not too distant future. In the meantime, enjoy all of it.
Lauren, thank you for your response. I have been looking at trips and have seen these places mentioned. Did not know if there are some must see that are off the beaten path and different places to stay, or better to go with a group the first time.
Yes, it has been more fun dressing, while my wife has been actively involved. I have let her set the pace. I have asked her to let me know when I can come out for the night. I have said that she could let me know, by setting out an outfit for me, when I get home from working for the day. It has not happened yet, but still hopping.
Lynne
@lillie Certainly you know your wife best - is she prone to large swings when it comes to things? Hot one day/week/month, cold the next? If so, then I'd wait it out and see. If not, then perhaps she's just acclimating over time and the cold spells should be less frequent/severe.
Also, a couple of suggestions I'd give at this point:
- Ensure you're being 100% open. If there something you're doing or want to do, tell her, don't make her ask - get out in front of it. If you want her to treat this like no big deal, then you need to as well.
- Pass up an opportunity - if something comes along or you think you'd just like a dressing day, maybe take the opportunity to do something else with her instead. It will likely mean a lot to her to see that CDing isn't prioritized over her.
You want to reassure her that this is something that can exist while your marriage remains solid, so look for chances to do that for as long as possible.
Good luck! 🙂
@melodeescarlet My wife is not into large swings. We have had our times, and she is more open since the last meltdown. The one thing I have always done is make her number 1. She is the love of my life. She calls the shots to when I dress, I have said if it is ok to dress today lay out an outfit for me when I come home, I do get to do a little extra on NFL game day for my team
Lynne
Lynne,
So Glad you have her support and participation. Run with it as long she is comfortable and good with sharing those experiences with you. Many CD's would love to have a SO like that!
