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A female friend of mine has known about Anna for some time. She knows me very well, but until today had never seen a picture of Anna. Plucking up courage, I showed her. She was very complimentary about my look, makeup, hair and also commented on how much smarter Anna dresses than drab me.
I've been wanting to show her a photo for some time and am glad to have finally done so and feel it's a weight off my mind. She has asked to see more photos. I'm still not ready to meet her as Anna, but this is a step forward.
Is this similar to anyone else's experience?
Hugs,
Anna
I've been out to my sister for a year now. We go shopping for clothes together and she's been incredibly supportive ever since I had 'the conversation' with her:
She's seen me in skirts and dresses when I've tried clothes on in stores. She's given me hand-me-downs. She's bought me perfume. However, she'd never seen me fully dressed.
I had a makeover and photoshoot at Femme Side Studios in Leicester on 23rd July. I'd told my sister about that in advance, and promised to text her some of the photographs. On the day that I did so, I warned her that they were coming and asked if she still wanted to see them. After all, they were something that she could never unsee.
She texted back 'Bring it on'.
I pressed *Send*.
Then there was three hours of complete silence.
During those three hours I was dying a thousand deaths.
I was imagining the worst. It's one thing telling someone that you crossdress, and that you're trans, but showing them pictures of yourself fully dressed is a whole different ball game. Here were photographs of her little brother, the person she'd known all her life. Photographs in which he was wearing a wig and makeup, a dress and heels.
What if it all had simply been too much and pushed her over the edge?
What if she'd just been being polite all along ... but now, confronted by the truth, she'd rejected me?
What if she'd been so shocked that she'd fainted and hit her head, and was even now lying unconscious on the living room floor?
What if ...
Then, when the three hours was up, I got a text.
'Sorry about the delay. Only seeing the photos now. Took the dog for a walk and then sat down to watch a film. It was really good. You look lovely. So glad you're happy'.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Thanks Ellie, I don't even want to think about how to approach my family yet. I just don't imagine any acceptance, unfortunately. Today was a good day and a step forward though.
Anna x
It sounds as though your friend will be very receptive to Anna.
Feel your way. You'll know if and when the time is right 🙂
Family is a whole different matter 🙁
My middle sister is wholly supportive, and in fact couldn't be happier. Telling her about me has brought us even closer together.
I came out fully to my Mum last August, but while she's supportive she's also 86. I've dressed 50:50 around her, she bought me women's clothes for my birthday and a couple of weeks ago she coloured my hair ... but I don't want to force the issue by suddenly turning up at her door in all my finery. She's done me the honour of accepting me for who I am, and I have to repay that by not pushing things too far.
My older sister and her husband are extremely transphobic. If she ever finds out I'm trans then fine, I'll deal with it. I'm a big girl. But I'm certainly not going to set out to tell her.
And Dad? He's 90 now, and has been separated from Mum for almost 50 years. He wasn't even in my life for around 30 of those. He left us when I was 12 and I didn't see him for the whole of that time. He can remember in great detail what happened on a day-to-day basis when he was evacuated during the war, but he can't remember what happened five minutes ago. I don't see any particular benefit in telling him about Ellie. It would only upset him.
I've had to pick and choose who I tell, but I'm very happy with the choices that I've made 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 My parents are slightly older than yours. I don't have a clue what they might think, but don't feel ready to risk it. My brother - no way do I think he would accept. My sister - maybe.
Hugs,
Anna x
I tied myself up in knots about telling my Mum 🙁
So … I just told my Mum – Personal Crossdressing Stories – Crossdresser Heaven Forums
I've just read back through this and relived every moment of the anxiety 🙁
Ellie x
@ellyd22 I've thought about how to broach the subject but don't feel remotely ready yet. I live the other end of the country from my family and have done since my early 20s, but even so....
Anna x
Put simply ... if it doesn't feel right, don't do it 🙂
Why rock the boat if you don't need to?
Life is complicated enough.
Wow, I remember the night you told me you’d done this. I was suffering from sympathetic stress for you until I found out how wonderfully well it went xxx
OMG! Three hours of torture and she's out for a walk! 😱 Just as well she's a brilliant sister then 😊♥️.
Allie x
She texted back 'Bring it on'.
I pressed *Send*.
Then there was three hours of complete silence.
During those three hours I was dying a thousand deaths.
No $h*t! I'd be concerned, too!
Glad it was a nothingburger.
@ellyd22 The term "nothingburger" was first coined in the 1950s by Hollywood gossip columnist Louella Parsons. It has a more modern usage in American politics.
I didn't realize until now that it was one word.
*Ellie Googles 'Nothingburger' while studiously avoiding all political references*
This sounds like an experience I just had. I showed photos too. Amazingly we both survived 🤣
Liz
A lovely story, Anna. I'm so pleased it worked out so well for you. I suspect that your friend will be very curious to see you as Anna and, judging by her reaction to your photos, she'll be very supportive. But you are quite right to not rush it. You'll know when the time comes.
My family and friends have seen photos of me dressed, but they were all from fancy dress parties and the like.
@annaredhead Anna, you just will never know until it happens, if it happens. I am out to my whole family and present as Cassie all the time. When we get together with my 4 brothers usually my presentation is never brought up. We just have our normal conversations as if this is the way it has always been. I will admit that often at family gatherings I often get with my sister-in-laws and discuss our nails and fashion.
I just came out as trans at work. It wasn't a surprise to most of the women I work with. Many of them asked to see photos. So I figured why not. I showed them some photos from a makeover for a recent trans event I attended. I got lots of OMGs and compliments. A few gals asked if I would come to work with a more feminine look. I told them I probably wouldn't.
I already dress like most of the women I work with. Which is very casually. I don't feel a need to make big changes in my appearance. What will change is how I interact. People will get to see who I really am. That will be plenty!
/LK
Hi Anna,
I'm sure this coming together happens in many ways. I really can understand nerves you might have. But it's looking promising for you.
I'm a reserved little soul (really!) , still very private. But I've managed just recently to tell a small bunch of decades-long friends and my two daughters - they are dotted over the place, so when we meet up we stop over at each others homes.
That's it. I've told them. I've shown them the odd (?) photo (and pointed out they were from makeovers and not by my own hand) , and inevitably with some conversation - I made a point of doing it in person.
My ongoing logic for the way forward is that it's taken forever and a day to work this decision through in my head. The least I can do is to give them some time to get their own heads around it.
So, I'm not overloading on them , it's just that they now know that if they come visiting, they shouldn't be surprised to come across Emma.
Last weekend a friend came down and we went to a gig. When we got home, I pulled out a skirt and top, no big effort, and we continued with our evening. That's the first time.
Tomorrow, friends in the same village are coming over for a meal. Not stopping over, but they'll see a bit of Emma too.
eM x
@annaredhead That so nice to Hear Anna...it's so lovely that one we care for, treats us with such respect! Moi - when I 1st dressed for my lady she joined in by hugely adding to my wardrobe, helped me with my make-up and my 1st 5" heels, I was 18 and I can't fully tell you how I did feel. Then she offered her clothes, as they fit. Just that this was more than heaven. We all deserve the respect and such we need to offer ourselves. We deserve to be able like genetic women, to experience all there in the male world is without a hypocrisy of equality. A lovely moment, thanks for sharing it. <3 Kyra
This is wonderful Anna.
I’ve not had the chance to reveal this side of me to anyone outside of the lovely ladies here, but I hope to be able to one day.
I’m sure you’ll know when it’s the right time for her to meet Anna in person
@annaredhead quite similar, although I came out in person to two friends on the same day. both were quite surprised, but I like to think genuinely complimentary. My favorite comment from a friend was “you’re the same person, just with much nicer clothes”.
@annaredhead I’ve shown pictures of myself dressed to a number of people (Strangers ironically, lol ) I actually showed the lady who does my eyeglasses what they look like on Stevie. A couple of my friends have seen me dressed in pics and they say I look lovely. But most of them, probably never will.
I think you look lovely Anna. Your outfits are very sharp and I definitely wouldn’t be afraid to show pics off. Of course, there are certain people I won’t show those kind of pictures to because I already know what the response would be. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean.
As far as anyone meeting me dressed, that hasn’t happened, except for my partner, and my son has seen me dressed around the house, but not completely made up. I would love for my mom to see me completely made up, but she just doesn’t want to go there and I understand that. Maybe one day but I doubt it will happen. She is still very supportive and I’m grateful for that though.
I’ve went out several times at night, but didn’t run into anyone I knew. Probably best for now anyways lol I’m happy for you!
@juststevie Thank you, that is really kind of you.
I actually find it easier to show a photo to a stranger, so the owners of a makeup show, a couple of boutiques that I shop in, it helps get an idea of what to buy or what would work. In a shop, doing that I've found the shopping experience is really positive
Anna x
@annaredhead This is exactly my situation and it’s always been women. I’ve showed the photos to. So far anyways ❤️
I have never shown photos of myself to friends, apart from in this group, but every female friend and acquaintance I have told and then presented myself to has been very accepting.
Lynne
What a lovely experience Anna! Very validating. Well chuffed for you girl. Absolutely no one knows about Chrissie, except you gorgeous lot xx.
Ah grasshopper, the seed shall not burst until the elephant stands on it
We're going to find a way to make it happen. Smart girls at your service. *the plotting begins*
Liz
@chrisfp99 @lizk @ellyd22 @finallyfiona
I like Fiona's idea, I can see the headlines,
"Gang of crossdressing kidnappers snatch victim from....."
Well, I'm hardly going to give away the location am I?
Allie x
As I started coming out to everyone, it got to the point where I looked forward to telling people about Fiona. It felt sooo good to let everyone finally see the real me and yes I almost always showed them a variety of photos of me.
That's a happy story Anna and nice to have a friend who accepts.
My first way of telling people was to show photographs as an ice breaker. It wasn't long after that the people shown were happy to see me and bring the photo to life. It made things so much easier to progress with that support around me. I hope the same happens for you Anna.
For a true friend it does not matter how you dress, or you you are...true friendship transsends all that.
I do hope you get to show her Anna in person. It is a very rewarding experience to come out to someone special. As I have told the story her before, I came out to my cousin who I have always had a great relationship with. I was not the leadt worried about her reaction and she was so sweet when I showed her my special portfolio of pictures. The next day I dressed en femme so she could see my femme side in person and she loved my look. It was very rewarding and just reinforced our already great relationship.
For a true friend it does not matter how you dress, or who you are...true friendship transcends all that.
This.
That's excellent news. The butterfly begins to unfold her wings. I'll be meeting you in Plymouth soon enough.
Becca
Anna, congratulations on this step on your coming-out journey 🙂 The length and duration of the journey is down to you of course, but it's lovely that your friend is so accepting of Anna and that she likes your look so much. Like JJ said, true friends are friends with the person inside, not just the presentation.
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
