I Went Out!

Hi Ladies!  I had a fabulous experience today that I wanted to share with you all!  With masks coming off around the country, I knew that I wouldn't have much more time to go out en femme without having to actually shave.  Today, I knew I had at least a 2 hour window and I just couldn't pass it up.  (Sorry this is kinda long, but I'm trying to be detailed if it might help others.)

I decided to go to a department store that isn't too far away.  I knew I wanted to do some makeup and I've been practicing eye shadow.  I have some magnetic lashes (the ones that click together and not the magnetic eye liner) and decided to try and put those on.  All told, I've tried to put them on 4 times including today and after about 15 minutes, I just said screw it, I'll use mascara.  (I got one pair on and just could not get the other ones on and I was taking too much time.)  I REALLY love wearing mascara and I recently bought some that was NOT waterproof.  (I had an experience with the waterproof mascara and thought I'd never get it off.)

ANYWAY, I put on my eye shadow and mascara (I use Maybelline ColosssalVolume Express Cat Eyes and really like it. The waterproof version has incredible staying power!)  I knew I'd be wearing sunglasses in the car, but going inside, I knew I'd need to wear my regular glasses, so that's why I wanted to wear makeup, plus, I really like wearing it.  It helps me feel pretty 🙂  (Personally, I think wearing sunglasses inside is an easy way to get clocked.)  So, finally, makeup is on!

Now undergarments. I put on my corset and I decided to go with my padded sports bra and A/B cup boobies today.  I was trying to blend in as much as possible and even though my forms aren't too big, I thought they might draw more attention than I wanted.  I put on my thong and kind of tucked things in and then my hip and butt shapewear.  (I really like it. It's not one of those cartoony ones. It's subtle, but it works.)  It goes from under the chest to halfway down my thighs and just kind of pulls everything in and keeps it there  🙂

I had a t-shirt picked out to wear, but when I put it on, the arms were just too short and I was afraid I'd show underarm hair. So, I changed into my trusty plain white T.  I put on some gray leggings because I can't shave my legs and need to cover them and wore (what I think is) a cute tennis skirt.  This was probably the most difficult decision for me, because I have like 10 skirts and I really like all of them, but I finally settled on the short black one.  I also have a higher waisted and longer black skirt, but just went with my first instinct and I thought it would look good with the leggings.  How girly does all that sound?  HA!  LOL!!  🙂

Through all of this getting ready, I was remarkably calm. One of my earliest posts talked about having a big sexual component to dressing, but as I was getting ready, I was just a girl getting ready to go to the store. I mean, it was exhilarating to be dressing to go in the world as a woman, but it wasn't a sexual experience (if that makes sense). That component has become less and less for me since I started this journey in December.

I have a gaiter mask that also hooks behind my ears which is nice because it stays up better, so I put that on being careful not to smear the makeup.  I put my hair up in a cute, high ponytail and wore a visor that I'd picked up during one of my thrifting excursions.  For shoes, I wore some cute gray sandals.  I only have one purse (black), so I put everything I thought I'd need in it and I was ready!

First hurdle is the neighbors. Especially the ones across the street. They always seem to be outside and if they aren't, their big front window looks right into my driveway.  Because of that, I did put on some man shorts over my skirt and wore a regular baseball cap to hide my high pony.  I also put my purse in a plastic grocery bag and grabbed a cardboard box to hold over my chest like I was carrying something.  (They aren't large breasts like this, but you can still tell that I have them.) I opened the garage door, didn't see anyone and made a b-line for my car.  Success!  No one is outside today!  That was a good break because there were a lot of people out earlier.

Out of the subdivision and I'm clear.  I come up to a stop light with no one around and lose the boring man shorts to reveal my cute skirt. Take off the ball cap and put on my visor to reveal my cute ponytail. Tara is free!!  After an uneventful, yet exciting, drive I get to the department store, I looked around and was going to park on the side of the building, but there was a kid sitting there. Confidently, I decided to park there anyway and walk by him. No worries there. We both smiled and nodded to each other. And then I had a first as a woman. A couple of young men were coming out of the store and the second one held the door open for me! I did my best girly shuffle run so as not to make him wait and thanked him and he politely said, you're welcome.  Although, I didn't get a 'ma'am', it still felt nice, as a woman, for a guy to hold a door open for me.

I'm in the store!  Holy crap!  I'm really doing this!  It was glorious!  I looked at shoes and jeans and pants and tops and dresses and sweaters. It was so surreal.  Almost like an out of body experience. I was using my best femme walk and was walking confidently through the store! Head held high! The women that were there and around me just acted like I was another female shopping with them. I saw a cardigan sweater that I REALLY liked, but it was more than I wanted to spend, so I frugally put it back.  I didn't end up buying anything, but that really wasn't the point. It was the experience and it was just fantastic.  If you've been nibbling at going out, I can't recommend this type of adventure highly enough. I will literally, never forget it.

Before this, I'd been out 3 times.  Once to a fast food drive thru wearing a dress, but never got out of the car. And twice to pick up an online breakfast orders. Each one of those trips only lasted a minute or so, but each was exciting. This was different in that I'd never gone out 100% en femme where I had makeup on and people could actually see it.  Plus, I was shopping. In the women's department. With other women. I didn't really interact with anyone directly other than some eye contact, but as far as I could tell, no one gave me a raised eye brow or the stink eye, so I think it was very successful!  (Obviously, it COULD have happened, but if it did, I didn't see it 🙂 )

I posted a pic in my public photos if you'd like to see.  I was just so excited to be out clothes shopping as 100% Tara!  I actually had more time than I thought I did, but you can never be sure of that.  Looking back, I wish I'd gone to 10 more stores!  🙂   But it's still an experience that I'll never forget!

Get out in the world, Ladies!  Live your life as you!  You won't regret it!

*kisses* tara 🙂