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So its been 3 years ish since I told my wife about all this. I was so relieved , but after a while I was back to pretty much DADT. but that was all me as I was still ashamed and afraid to take it any further with her. I was terrified to even mention it . But I was getting alot of time by myself, so it was all good . lately Ive had alot less alone time and my head was so full of thoughts and things I wanted to say but just couldn't bring myself to. It was really messing me up. It wasn't just the need to have some River time it was also constantly feeling like I was still hiding and going over and over in my head how to approach it.
Finally Yesterday I broke silence and just said lets play dress-up together and have a girls night. Well .. she said oh that sounds like alot of fun . lets do that.!! No freaking way !! 
. So after lunch some shopping and a few cocktails to get my inhibitions down. We started early yesterday afternoon. We first went thru a bunch of her clothes to pick out some good outfits. Then we spent a while doing makeup. whatever went on me we did the same to her. Then we had supper , afterwards we went into the Mancave and turned on the disco lights and some tunes . layed out all our stuff , and proceeded to Dress. " I guess its a she shed now.!! " anyhoo , OMG its so much easier to put on a corset with help . 😉 We then spent the evening taking pictures dancing and changing outfits. She was so supportive , helpful and relaxed like it was no big thing. even went out of her way to pull me over for a kiss. Afterwards I thanked her . and she said "for what I had fun". but I told her how important it was for me and she deserved thanks. That night I started to realize the weight that was off me and today Im amazed at how quiet it is in my head. Ive been smiling all day. 
. Thank you all so much as I dont think I would have ever got up the confidence without all the support and advice from everyone. I do realize how lucky I am to have her.
For those gamers like myself I feel like I just leveled up for real!!..
... Cheers RC
Absolutely wonderful news!
I hope you're wearing a weighted belt, so you won't float away in the Pink Fog! 🥰
@gafran I felt I needed an anchor all day but now its Monday. uggh back to the grind. so im not quite floating right now as im anchored to my computer . Thank you. Its amazing how different i feel. Cheers RC
I just took delivery online on the most gorgeous pink shirt dress style just above the knee long sleeve, turn down holler in the sweetest pain. I tried it on and had to hold on to the chair to save some floating away in front of the mirror! Love pink clouds! 
@gafran thank you sweetheart. I cannot begin to explain because most of it is feeling how I enjoy full time cross dressing or just being Stephanie the other day I required to dress as a male when I went on a Visa Run between countries 12 and 1/2 hours return on a bus with about 20 other people. I was visibly uncomfortable in my mail close amazing I couldn't wait to get home get a shower and put on my house dress. The joys of being Stephanie
The girl wants out. No doubt about it.
I remember years ago when such transformation surgeries started. It was a requirement to dress as the sex you want to be everyday. Living that way 24/7 for at least a full year before the surgery would be recommended and approved.
It's much improved now with the proper therapy. Events like Keystone have seminars on the subject. Also it's listed on this site. One topic by our founder Vanessa Law asks about the differences between a Crossdresser and a Transgender. 🥰
Hey, River, thanks for posting this, as Stacie @staciebobacie says, a lovely "feel good" vibe to it.
There's nothing like sharing our dressing with a supportive partner, we are so lucky! My own lovely wife is currently cat-sitting at our daughter's house for a few days and, while I can dress pretty much as I please, I've enjoyed taking a few hours each day to pamper myself, experiment with hair and makeup and select my clothes for the evening. I do miss sharing with her though and I'll be happy to see her home.
Thank you all so much as I dont think I would have ever got up the confidence without all the support and advice from everyone.
And snap to that, thanks to the encouragement and support I've had, Allie spent two days en femme, in public, just over a week ago!
Wishing you more times like this,
Allie x
@alexina After the cuffs came off I was very surprised how comfortable I was with it all. but being by yourself is also a bit different and nice. I think a bit of both will be the recipe I need . but having absolutely no secrets is just amazing. Thank you for the kind response Cheers RC
@river Oh River, how thrilling for you. You go girl. For me, even if my wife knew about Chrissie, I couldn't picture myself dressing in front of her. I just think I'd be too embarrassed xx.
@chrisfp99 Thats what held me back for so long. Shame and Embarrassment. Ive been forcing myself to watch Drag shows with her and its also helped but at the same time Im not those girls and it kind of embarrassed me more. I thought of you before I posted this as I know your situation. Im glad you enjoyed the story I know all too well the feelings you describe. One thing I have been noticing though and its unfortunate is that when a fantasy comes true what is there to Fantasize about. its weird, feels like a part of me is gone. I need some time to process it and level out I think. Thank you for the kind response , have a great day RC
@river River, interesting what you say about fantasies. I mean there have been various facets of my life where I've managed to achieve some sort of dream, and then that's ticked off the list. The crossdressing one is difficult. I really don't know if I'd like my wife to know about it or not. There's something special and a bit naughty in having that delicious secret all to oneself xx.
@chrisfp99 You are right its hard to describe. I have used the narnia reference a few times because it sometimes feels like going into a magical world. I used to day dream about spending this time with my wife and now that I have . well I'm sleeping better but Im missing the fantasy. I need some inspiration lol.. I get you I had no choice to tell her a few years back I would probably still be hiding it. but im very glad it all happened the way it did . But it could have gone very badly as well I was fortunate. But honestly Im so glad its all out there and we are still solid. its such a relief. I was terrified. so I understand the feeling. I hope you get some time soon I think your due 🙂 XXX Cheers RC
I find cross dressing full time , delightful as it is, has become the new normal, and as such, normal is not exciting.
I sit & have coffee @ local cohhee shop with Sis girls, just normal as one of tbe girls, share girl talk, one gave me a new dress she ordered on-line that didnt fit her. I wore it for her the next day @ coffee.
Sometines they give me tips about how i dress, like they like me in long skirts and dresses to the knee, not shorter etc.
NORMAL, is so nuce,but not like when i started passing in public as femme. THAT was exciting.
Now im just stephanie.
@tubbydullard Normal. has changed so many times . just tonight normal has completely been uprooted . those exciting times are precious I get scared that when there is nothing new left. it will just be boring. Im encouraged that seems to not be the case with so many that live full time. I dont think thats for me but would be another first to just say I lived as a woman for a few days. Thank you. have a great day. RC
What a wonderful, wonderful post, River! Reading it made me feel warm and fuzzy 🙂
I'm going to be smiling about this all day, just like you.
Hugs
Ellie xxx
PS - I love that your Man Cave is now a She Shed 🙂
@ellyd22 Thank You !! Im very happy that it brightened someone's day as well as mine. The she shed had to go back to a mancave for football the next day with the guys . lol we left everything out over night and forgot and were frantically putting it all away before the crew showed up lol. We had wigs and clothes hanging everywhere. It was a sight. 
. Pheww made it just in time but all game I was still cleaning the glue off my nails . Thank you so much for your kind response have a great day RC
@river Mrs B has been nothing but supportive so I know how much this will mean to you. I hope this will be the first of many such days & I know that you will enjoy them.
X
Sasha
@sashabennett Thank You.. Its an amazing feeling We are so very lucky. not sure whats next but I know it will all be so much easier now. actually looking forward to what tomorrow brings Cheers RC
@river OooO! Sounds like you two had a real breakthrough. Hopefully there are more to come.
@harriette Thank You yes breakthru is the best way to describe it. the dam has burst. excited to see where the river leads next xxx Cheers RC
@river I'm so happy for you!!! Maybe schedule a "Dress Night" once a month or even once every other month. Whatever happens, I hope this won't be the only time this happens.
Hugs, Jill
@jillannquinn Thank You . afterwards when I thanked her she said she had fun. but she is not used to wearing makeup and she said her face was a bit itchy the next day but she said not a big deal. as she has always been allergic to some makeup but it turned out to be nothing so hopefully she wants to do it again soon. but right now im content for the first time in a very long time. which feels amazing. Have a great day RC
@river So pleased for you. It must be wonderful to have such a supportive and loving wife ☺️
@wendye47 24 years married friends for 44 years so its been a long road to get to this point. I know Im very lucky to have her. It is an amazing feeling. Thank You Cheers RC
@river Wow that sounds like a great evening. Glad she was so helpful and supportive. Hopefully it’s the start of other great days to come.
@river ypi soon will be CRAVING that high from davcing in girly dress up! It is contagious.
Contagious? Pink cloud? She shed? We gain freedom, relief to self determine how we will.live our life w/out fear, in a dress or a skirt, but we desire the happy feelings, over and over again, we have a different.LACK OF FREEDOM; now we are addjcted to feeling pretty, feeling sexy, feeling happy in femme, expanding ways to be out in public wearing our prettiest dress skirt, ,heels, wigs, make up, earrings, bras and panties
Seeing and being seen. Venture out to walk in the neighborhood, the coffee shop, the mall in femme.
Welcome sister river, you are one of us ladies now, get used to it, it owns you. I went to the sleepy dog pub last night first time in a skirt breast forms and wig. Exciting!.
Stephanie
@tubbydullard Oh that must have been miraculous. I love the pub scene. I was in Ireland for 10 days a few weeks ago and noticed some of our sisters out and about. maybe someday. as it seems the need for freedom grows each time you achieve a goal. then the goal moves . not sure where that goal has settled yet but I am sure once it does ill be aiming for it. 
Thank You. Have a great day. RC
@tubbydullard Contagious.. Addictive. habit forming.. etc. etc.. lol 
Cheers RC
@river i loved this story. And you said it yourself! My wife had to find out. Your so brave! Im really impressed! Are you two going to have more girl nights? You could suggest to make it a weekly thing?
@crazycynthia Im sure we will both play again. today happens to be a girls day but ill be the only one in makeup. she is shopping. getting me a few things. but she put on my lashes before she left 
RC
@river most happy for you! This is just a beginning though build on it! You know you want to it's in your jeans/genes !
@tubbydullard Thank You.. Ya Im pretty positive it will grow. yesterday I said Im going to be a girl tomorrow she said Ok let me know if you need anything. she is getting me a few things at the moment. but she put my lashes on before she left. So.. I think its all good in the hood.. 😉 Cheers RC
@lyndajones Thank You. Yes it was and yesterday was even better. im in a real good place. Have a great day. RC
@jessicaskye231 Thank You. we have definitely made some leaps and bounds lately. more to come and has just made me lover her more.. Cheers RC
Omg that is sooo amazing. I love the feel good nature of this. I hope it continues for you!
@staciebobacie Thank You I know for me things are now different and better and it seems for her nothing has changed which is the big fear. so one way or another there will be a continuation. may not always be where she joins in but I wont have to feel like I need to wait for her to leave or hide anymore and that's so bloody wonderful. have a great day RC
@tubbydullard Been a stressful week I just said to her Im going to be a girl tomorrow. she was like ok cool let me know what I can do. cant as for more. So blessed. Thanks you RC
@river Fantastic! I'm so glad that happened for you and that you took that step! I truly feel like this is most often the case - many of us trapping ourselves with our own fears. A little honesty and a little trust can go a long way!
Congratulations to both of you! 🙂
@melodeescarlet Thank You so much. You nailed it Honestly thats partially whats been driving me nuts the feeling of sneaking around. I may as well have been cheating as having secrets are difficult to maneuver and just feels wrong. even though she knew , I always feared she did not really understand the extent. but now that ship has sailed and were completely on the same page. its amazing. Have a great day. RC.
@river I'm so glad for you! Do remember that your ship needs to be refueled from time to time. She may need more reassuring at some later point, so be patient and you'll have a wonderful cruise together! 😉
@melodeescarlet Now I want to go on a cruise lol . on formal dinner night it says men must wear a jacket 🙁 but what if I want to wear a dress and all fancy glam. ? hmm something to ponder. 
Thank you RC
@river You could call them, describe your situation, and then ask them for their best recommendation.
My wife found out about 30 yrs ago and I couldn't bring myself to talk to her about it, so life went on as before. 15 yrs later we ended up raising her two grandsons until they graduated and moved out. When they both moved 7 hrs away the urge came back with a vengeance and I started dressing again in secrecy because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of her, until like you I finally got the nerve to talk to her, that was two yrs ago. Now I'm sitting here with her in a pink, calf length, spaghetti strap cami dress and black kitten heel sandals, wig, makeup and so happy to have found such a great partner too share my life with who loves me for who I am and not for what I wear or present as.
Lacy
@rholtman96 Spot on its so hard to have that first conversation but then to take that next step and show her. both very difficult but were so very lucky thats over. not sure whats next but so excited to find out. Have a great day RC
That's so cool @river !
I love having girly nights in with my partner. Dressing up can be so much more fun when you someone to share it with 🙂
I'm so happy for you that you have crossed that bridge to being able to be yourself with her. Here's to many more! 
🙂
@caroline2k Lol the last emoji is not to far off where we ended up. Thank You for the kind response. it was a tough bridge to get over but now that im here im kicking myself for putting it off for so long. The grass is greener on this side .I don't have any doubt it will all be easier for us both from now on. Have a great day RC
That's brilliant, River! I'm really happy for you! I hope you have many more of the same.
@jacquelinelarkspur Thank You so much. I hope so as well but regardless if we do it again together I feel like she finally knows River and that wall is down. and its such a relief. Cheers RC
How wonderful River. It's just so great to read such happy expeiences.
@ab123 Thank You. I was hoping it would bring a smile to others as well. Im so very happy that It did. Have a wonderful day.. RC
River -
I'm very happy for you, what a wonderful evening.
Like you I'm very cautious about talking with my wife about Suzanne. I usually wait for her to bring it up. There are times she will invite Suzanne to spend the day but they are very infrequent.
My birthday is this week and she planned a weekend (actually Thursday and Friday) away with shopping and massages for us. In preparation we're going for mani-pedi's tomorrow. The dog will be going on a vacation of his own so I have a feeling Suzanne will be invited over which will be nice, if not I'm going to ask if she can visit.
Thank you for giving me a boost to do that.
Hope you have some more girlfriend time with your wife.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Thank You !! . thats something Im hoping going forward My wife thinks about. that would be the next big revelation if she ever says can River come out to play ?? Ill be like.. hold on Ill go get her .lol . Happy Birthday!! and I sincerely hope Suzanne gets invited to the party. just the mani pedi and massages sound wonderful enough. but finishing off with a girls night . sounds like a perfect birthday wish. Have a great day RC
@river thank you for the birthday wishes - I am looking for ward to the pampering - I'll be posting on here about what happens - it would be nice if Suzanne gets invited to the party - hope that does happen for you one day
XOXO
Suzanne
My wife is fully supportive, and I can be Cerys as much as I like.... We don't do girlie nights in. She does occasionally do my hair, but this is very occasionally..... Many years ago we did the "interesting bedroom/fetish stuff where she would dress me up, but that was MANY years ago. It was fun, but all good things come to an end 🙁
My wife never selects my outfit, but she will advise, and tell me what works and what doesn't. I, though, often select her outfit. She admits to being too safe, and sticking with the same clothes. She sometimes need the push to try something different. I very rarely see her in a dress or a skirt.
You seem to have a great wife, one that might be open to you fully coming out, and one that will enjoy having a crossdresser as a husband. You are very lucky!
Cerys
@dazzler Thank you. I do know how lucky I am and appreciate her so much. I feel like whatever this leads to we will be fine and thats so comforting. She has always asked my advise on dressing as she sounds very similar to yours and does not feel comfortable getting all gussied up but I think this also heloed her come out of that shell a bit. Hopefully more time like this to come. Have a great day RC
That's lovely, River (nice name BTW). Any favourable interaction with a SO is always a good thing and the more you do it, the more you can do it. I'm sitting on the sofa right now dressed in a skirt, top and wig; my wife isn't here but if she came home from work early, she wouldn't bat an eyelid, that's how comfortable it can become.
Becca
PS Whenever I say things like this I feel a little guilty and sad for people who cannot do this in their own relationships 
; I guess there's always hope.
@rebeccabaxter Becca, I don't hold out much hope 😢 but thanks for your thoughts xx.
Whenever I say things like this I feel a little guilty and sad for people who cannot do this in their own relationships
Well said, Becca. So do I! I kept my secret for decades before speaking to my wife about crossdressing, I won't forget the "difficulties" that come with having to hide!
@rebeccabaxter Thank You !!! I was also very reluctant to post this as I know all too well what its like to be in hiding and I have read so many stories of unsupportive SOs I know how you feel . but even when I was not in this situation stories from others gave me encouragement and made me happy so I let it rip. It will still be weird to just dress around her when she is not participating but as you said as time passes I think things well level out to a norm. Have a Great day Cheers RC
River, that's just wonderful. What a warm and loving evening you had. Count your blessings every day. Your wife certainly sounds incredible.
Robyn
@robyn1408 Thank You. I will and do. I appreciate her so much and now so much more. I dont think she would ever understand how much she means to me. Have a great day RC
So happy for you! 🥰
So happy to hear this River! I’m sure you are flying high…😀 hoping more of us can join you someday…
Dear River,
Life, will never be as it was. You have 'flown', you have broken the 'sound barrier', you have 'reached the stars'.
God Bless You and Yours!
Sincerely and With Love,
Thea
@theapat Broken the Sound barrier!! love it. So far the main change is im so much calmer and focused. not distracted by my own thoughts which is amazing enough in itself. Thank You. Have a great day RC
Thank you. have a wonderful day !! RC
Congratulations, River! It's so refreshing and fun to hear about love and acceptance from partners. I wish everyone had that. Thank you for sharing your good fortune with us!
@justnikki Thank You ! yes I agree I wish everyone had at least that. one thing we discussed one of the times I tried to bring this up and failed was that we both grew up in a time when this would have felt impossible and my shame derives from that programming and I said to her I know you have it also. for her to go beyond that is amazing because I know how difficult it can be and depending on your parents could be so much more difficult. The future is brighter for the younger generation of us but for some there is just too much to get over, and that really makes me sad. Have a great day RC
