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I'm mature in age (65 now) and very happily married with two grown up children and four grandchildren.
I became aware of my desire to dress feminine when I was in my teenage years, at first I could only dream and wish with no opportunity to actually experience my desire. Later when dating “my to be wife” she would ocasionally apply makeup to me for a laugh, but for me this was such a thrill to finally see my face made up. Sometime later we were away and I managed to borrow secretly a skirt and top, this was the first time that I had ever seen myself dressed. It was so exciting. We later married and access to some of her things and cast off's was my method of dressing. The internet when it arrived and shopping on ebay and shops became the norm to buy my own which I kept hidden in a locked case in the garage. I've had several purges over the years as we all do, but not anymore if the red mist arrives I simply just lock it all away.
I've never had the courage to leave the house as we are overlooked too much by the neighbours, but we did have a crossdressed murder mystery which was a huge thrill, I had a long black sparkly halter neck dress with a split skirt on, full make up the works.
Some years ago my wife returned from an evening out with her friends and kept asking what I had been doing all night, I said watching TV. But she kept asking as if she knew something (but she didn't), so eventually I blurted out "I dress up and enjoy the evening enfem". It took an age for the dust to die down, we all know the questions. But eventually I got my chances again and I dress infrequently by myself when my wife is out for the night, I have been able to remain dressed on her return and some night are good and some aren’t. She's aware I like to dress, but prefers not to encourage it but oftern talks about it. She says I have good taste in dresses.
I fully shave/eppilate and store my makeup in her drawer, she oftern says what have you put in their now! My dresses etc are stored in a wardrobe in a spare bedroom not hidden. But if we go away for extended time away I always move them to a locked case in the garage again.
@elaines I can't imagine waiting till I got married to try cross-dressing, the thrill must have been amazing! it sounds like your relationship with your wife isn't ideal but it is still healthy and compromises can be made. I'm proud of you girl and you ever want a friend to talk too I'm here 🙂
@britneyjolts Yes at that time in years ago and also the area I lived in it would have been very difficult.
But the dreaming was wonderful just wish at that age it could have happened. THings are quite different today.
@elaines Snap again! I just joined cdh today and I'm stunned how many of us share near identical stories. I had a purge a few years ago and tbh, hadn't given much thought to dressing until a couple of months ago. One of my closest friends got a terminal diagnosis and, during one chat, told me not to leave it till it's too late to do what you want. That made up my mind to stop the guilt and shame and get myself glammed up! I of course went a bit mad buying online so I now have about 20% of my wardrobe rail holding my femme stuff and one drawer for my undies. We live on our own now so it should be safe 👀
Keep enjoying!
@elaines Kind of sounds like my wife. She knows I dress and sometimes we get to do it together. I still feel she is not always on board. Just last week she purged the closet, called me in and said take what you want. I think you would really like the jeans but cannot wear outside the house.
It is narrow street, but I will take it. Good luck
Lynne
Hi Elaine,
I'm a mature crossdresser too,
But I'm totally stuck in the closet, my wife has no idea I'm a crossdresser, I'm not sure if i will come out to her as she says she doesn't understand why some men want to dress up like women, most of my womens clothes are my wife's cast off's we are both roughly the same size so when she puts things in a bag for the charity shop i go through it and keep what i like,
I sometimes wish i had the courage to come out of the closet and tell my wife this is who i am, someone who likes wearing dresses 👗 X
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
@rozalyne Hi Rozalyn
The reason that I didn't come out to my Mum until this summer was because of very similar comments that she'd made over the years. I've since found out (from talking to her at length, now that she knows about me) that ALL of those opinions stemmed from a single experience that she had over 20 years ago.
Mum is 86 in two weeks time. When she was in her mid 60s she went on a package tour to Thailand. As part of that, the tour company took her to a performance in Bangkok. She enjoyed it immensely; being the complete innocent that she is she had no idea that she was actually watching Ladyboys. All would have been well, except that as the tour party was leaving the theatre they encountered the performers outside, now in boy mode but still in full makeup. Several were kissing. Mum didn't like that AT ALL, and it coloured all of her subsequent references to crossdressers over the years. It turns out that for some reason it was the makeup, and not the kissing, that bothered her. While the performers were wearing dresses, everything was okay; when they were in shirts and jeans, well, that just didn't compute.
I had no idea about this when I told her about my crossdressing, and that I identify as female. She was very accepting of both of those things ... but the whole makeup thing will still take a LOT of unpicking because of that one decades-old encounter.
My point is that sometimes people's views may seem to be set in stone but in fact they're based on only the flimsiest of experiences. Introduce them to new ways of looking at things, and their whole perception can change. Now that Mum has met your average crossdresser-next-door (me) her view of us has shifted entirely. You say that your wife doesn't understand why some men want to dress as women, but I wonder how entrenched that view actually is?
Just a thought 🙂
Ellie x
@ellyd22 hi Ellie, thanks for sharing your story with me,
I'm glad you're mother has accepted you, as for my wife I'll just have to see how things go, maybe one day she might accept me, but for now I'll take it one step at a time X
Hugs Rozalyn X
@rozalyne I have no real advise as too thought I'd be totally in the closet, it was only a simple misunderstanding that kind of forced the situation. However it did take a lot of time to get her to "kind of understand" my other needs.
I think for you it is softly softly and don't dive straight in. Watch some films and TV where some level of normal crossdressing is seen (not mokery). See what conversations arise after it.
But most of all don't ruin your relationship.
Elaine xx
@elaines hi Elaine,
Like i said it's going to take a lot of courage to actually say to my wife that i like to wear women's clothes, I'm sure she would feel that I've betrayed her by not telling her before, we have been married for 52 years this year so it's a very long time to keep this secret,
Hugs Rozalyn X
@rozalyne When I was "interogated" after blurting it out I didn't use the phrase "like to wear womens clothes". I said "I love womens fashion and like to enjoy the moment of feeling feminine as it looks so nice. The way you look so lovley, I just want to experience it". It's true and seemed to work once she knew I wanted no more than that! It took a long time but we are still OK.
Elaine xx
@chrisfp99 You must know that if and when you decide to tell your wife, you have the full support of everyone at CDH…
That's very sweet of you Chanel and is a source of great comfort to me but I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen xx.
@chrisfp99 That is true for me too. Life would become difficult so not happening.x
