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All my life I have known I was different. At first I just knew it wasn't fair that my sister gets all these pretty clothes to wear and I get boring yuk clothes. One day I tried pretty clothes on, I would have been about 14 I think. Growing up I was always a sooky kid and my friends used to tease me and call me a girl, a sissie just boys being boys I thought. But after trying a dress on and how it made me feel. Was like freedom like this is what I should wear and it feels comfortable and right. I never considered I was transgendered just comfortable and happy being feminine.
As time rolled on i tried all the boy things sports, girlfriends, working drinking the army etc. Met a girl that became my wife. We had a beautiful baby girl. And life was good. Then one day I tried on one of her dresses, for no apparent reason just felt like doing. Well after that it became clear to me that's what I wanted more and more. Then one day I got caught. My wife went into instant rage. Hated me from that moment on, took my daughter away from me. Made it hard for me to see my daughter. I did persist and won my right to see her. And 22 years later we are still very close.
I chose to live alone for a while, spending weekends with my daughter, working and dressing female as I chose. Was great but lonely. A few years later my sister introduced me to a friend of hers. We hit it off and eventually moved in together. Inevitably a few years in and reasonably content with life. The dressing thing came back with a vengeance. And again I started doing it more and more and yes I got caught again. This one went into hate mode aswell kicked me out called me a disgusting perverted faggot and some other pretty names and told my friends and family.
The next few years were pretty Un eventful I dressed I worked and was pretty happy. I moved to a new city and started afresh new life. Then as only I can do met a beautiful woman fell in love moved into together. Again I dressed here and there when time permitted. Left little hints etc. Then randomly and out of the blue some one rang my partner at her work place and told her that her partner was a transvestite fagot and she should check my car for evidence of this. Which she did. And yes she found a dress, wig and some knickers hidden under my seat. She confronted me about this I told her everything. She is not convinced that you can be a crossdresser and not be gay, which at this stage is her biggest fear. That and anyone knowing.shes trying trying to come to terms with all this. She says she loves enough to try ad that's the main thing. I have worn only a pair of knickers and a bikini in front of her. She allows me to shave my legs etc. But at this stage that seems to be enough. I'm starting to feel like going all the way and dressing up. But that's something we agreed to do together at a later stage. It's funny tho. All I've ever wanted was the chance to dress up whenever I want now I'm being patient and waiting for my partner to be ready.
Kelsey❤
Hi Kelsey.
Welcome to CD Heaven, I'm sure you will find that you are not alone in your feelings of wanting to be feminine by the number of girls here, many of us in Australia.
Thank you for sharing your story in your introductory posts, there are many girls here who are on a very similar journey to yours and nearly all of us would share some aspects of it.
Be assured that you are not a perverted faggot or any of the other names that your ex'es gave you. Crossdressers are no more an abberation of humanity than red headed people who form about the same proportion of the general population.
You can also reassure you fiancee that being CD and gay are definitely not the same thing, most of us, like any other group of people, consider ourselves to be straight.
Congratulations also to your fiancee for being open minded enough to accept you for being yourself, particularly if she has not previously met a CD/TG person.
There is a part of CD Heaven which is dedicated to wives and SO's. She would be very welcome to go there and meet others in the same situation as she is in.
I wish you well on your journey and hope you can travel it together.
Hugs
Sheryl
Thankyou Sheryl it's great to have a place to go and tell my story. My fiance is trying very hard which is all I can ask of her. I've told her about this site and I'm hopeful she embrace the site aswell.
Kelsey
Hi Kelsey,
My heart goes out to you. I'm actually in my office bawling like a baby. Hope no one stops by. Whatever happens, know that we will always be here for you.
Say, did you ever hear the one about the guy at the gates of heaven. While arguing with St. Peter to let him in, a CD walks up (dressed to the nines) and strolls right past. The guy says "Hey what gives?" St. Peter replies "Oh her...She's already been to hell."
Don't think I'll get that kind of pass, but I sure hope you do.
As for your new relationship. Don't push too hard. While I'm fortunate to be able to dress while my wife is around, things usually work best if I do most of my dressing alone. That way she mostly gets her average husband and I get a fair amount of time to express Julie. She also let's me keep my Julie clothes in our closet, which is really nice of her.
I hope you two can come to a similar arrangement. I like to think of dressing as my hobby. And as with most mens hobbies, it's okay if the wife does not fully participate.
💋💋💋 Julie
Kelsey, Julie, Sheryl.........Ladies....OMG!!!! Ya'll really know how to slice thru my armor and make me cry. What experiences have taught you.
Kelsey..........what does not kill us will make us stronger, it is a path of heartbreak but you will survive, be strong and move on towards your ultimate goal. Keep the faith in yourself, there are many here at CDH who are behind you and will step in front of you when needed to protect you, my sister/brother. I notice that you were in the army........if you saw combat, you will know, that what you are experiencing now is little compared to starring down the enemy. If you can do that, you will survive anything. I have done so in Nam and came away diss-associated with life and its events. I am strong and can deal with anything. Be strong dear, I will help when needed. All the best....my door is open friend.
Lady Veronica
Thank you Julie.
My wife is getting there slowly she lets me paint my toues and my clothes are hanging neatly in the closet. Shes seen the photos of me dressed and asked me to put my wig on so she could fix the fringe which she did. She bought me the nail polish and a pair of shoes. But when i put my boy clothes she always says its nice to have my man back. And thats nice to hear too. However i like to dress and do my girly thing and sometimes she looks a little dissapointed when i do. But she says its ok. Shes trying and i adore her for that. I hope i get to speak to you more, to all my new beautiful friends more.
Love Kelsey❤
Kelsey, I am so glad to hear that things are working out for you and your SO. I agree, it is important to remember not to go overboard and that you should allow her to maintain her image of the man she fell in love with.
By the way, I just wanted to let you know that your story reminded me of the importance of being open and honest with my wife. Tonight and for the next few days my kids are at their grandparents and I could have shot home and started dressing. However, I figured it was about time for us shore up our relationship. You see I had not told her about my recent experience of going out in public nor that I had joined CDH. While I was really nervous to tell her about these new steps, she took it as a non-issue and was actually excited for me. She was most excited about CDH, as she recognized the importance of being able to connect with other CDs. She did open up about a related but different issue, that we worked through, though I suspect there will be more discussions on that topic. We topped off the night with a date night dinner at our favorite restaurant, where we toasted to her being the best wife in the world. She really enjoyed that part.
So, I guess what I am saying is thank you for sharing with us. While all of our paths are distinct, we all have the opportunity to learn from each other.
💋💋💋 Julie
Kelsey so sorry to here of the nonacceptance of your x spouses I have always let any of my intendents know ahead of time so that they can make up their mind long ahead of time I always felt it better to let them make a decision long ahead of time before marriage or children etc. My wife though not compleating accepting has semi accepted my dressing up. She will buy me things one day then the next day she will make some kind of unkind remark at the way I'm dressed. Good advice is to be honest with anyone you intend to be in a long term relationship with just my thoughts.
Krlsey, you are amazing, such resiliance, so pleased it has paid off in the long run. Everyone's experience is different, yet the same. The exhilaration of dressing is something that will never go away cos it's so natural, just we have to expect/respect the reaction when we finally show our true colours to them.
I'm glad you found a new wife who's better than that intolerant one you had before. When I 1st got on the internet to find about about others like me I could understand why various blogs had to clarify that most cross dressers are heterosexual but for people to not listen to you explain that you're straight but like to cross dress is messed up. I applaud your decision to fight to earn your right to see your daughter. Your ex-wife has no right to withhold your daughter from seeing her just because you like to dress as a woman.
Hey Darlin, I'm Lea from Baltimore and I had the same experiences I started at 9 years old and I had no one to talk to I didn't understand what was going on but when I tried to bring the subject up I was told the same things those people are deranged perverted molesters sick in the head gay etc etc so I kept it hidden I knew I belonged in those clothes I felt very in touch with my feminine side as I had girlfriends again I would bring up a subject and shot down so I stayed hidden I got married tried to bring it up no go got married a second time again a no-go and I figured I was the only one going through this back in the 60s and the 70s and the '80s and the '90s and early 2000s there wasn't any place I could turn to and finally at 55 years old I met a woman who is amazing and I told her everything up front it took a couple days for her to think about it and she decided to give it a try now she enjoys encourages participates she even buys me outfits and lingerie from time to time and for the first time in my life I walked through the front door completely dressed my wife did my makeup and it was an amazing feeling and we are planning on doing some weekend vacations where I can stay dressed her family moved in with us so I had to stop dressing completely in the house except in the room but I still under dress everyday so I totally get it I understand we all need to stick together and support each other and not have to deal with discouraging relationships tell them up front if they don't like it move on the women are out there who accept this and I'm glad you found somebody who is at least partially accepting it and I wish you all the best stay feminine be true to yourself and you'll be much happier
