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So if you’ve seen my photos, you’ll know that yesterday I dressed up as Angela and went shopping at my local mall. One of the stores I visited was JC Penney. I saw a beautiful dress in the plus-size section and decided to buy it. But when I went to the checkout counter and handed the saleslady my credit card, she did something unexpected.
She asked to see my ID.
Now mind you, I’ve made many purchases with my credit card both in drab and en femme, and never get asked for my ID. I’d like to think that maybe — just maybe — she thought it odd that a woman was using a man’s credit card? Unfortunately, the only ID I had was my driver’s license, with my male name and photo. So when I handed it to her, I said “I have to warn you, right now I look different than the way I look on my ID”. She looked at the photo, looked at the card, looked at me, and smiled broadly. And I smiled back. And she finished the transaction and we both went on our merry way.
And it’s funny. Before I first went out in public, when I was still so fearful about doing it, this would have been my nightmare scenario. Somebody confronting me with the knowledge that I am a man in a dress. That is precisely, exactly, the type of situation I feared the most. But now I’ve been out in public many times, and I’m no longer afraid. I realize people are too absorbed in their own lives to care about me. And salespeople and servers don’t see you as male or female. To them you are a customer, and they’re simply there to serve you. So instead of regretting or being embarrassed about what happened, now I think it was kind of amusing. A funny story that I thought I’d share with you.
@theunrealangelawagner I would have died right there!!! You’ve gained so much confidence in the last year. It’s truly inspiring. Your experiences are helping to build my own confidence towards going out in public. -Gemma
Thank you, Gemma. But here’s the kicker. When I went out shopping yesterday, I got asked for my ID again! By the sales clerk at Forever 21. So I handed over my drivers license, and like the first time, there was no problem. I realize now that it’s just something that happens occasionally, and it’s not a big deal. What I can’t figure out is — I’ve bought clothing at that same Forever 21 before, and they’ve never asked for my ID previously. So why this time?
@theunrealangelawagner It’s the holiday season, and identity theft is probably more of a concern. I’m sure the stores have just stepped up checking IDs for a few months. Im sure it wasn’t personal, or targeted.
I always thank them for asking for my ID because in doing so they are helping to protect unauthorized use of my card.
Also, I’m sure you gave that employee a positive learning experience with someone from our community. It’s something that hopefully they will be sensitive about going forward.
I can’t wait to see what you purchased.
@theunrealangelawagner Good story and great writing, Angela! Thanks for sharing. And oh, I would have died….
hugs,
Jules
@theunrealangelawagner And oh, I, Jules have a credit card in my name. It is the same account and number as my male self’s. It is a Chase Bank account. I simply called them and explained that I, male self was trans and wanted a second card, same number, in my name Julie Anderson. And they were very nice and understanding.
hug
Jules
Angela; the real reason she asked for I.D. was because you had also bought a bottle of wine and she thought you looked younger than 18... Holly XXX
I have never been out in public but hope to one day. I would have panicked momentarily for sure.
I had been dressing and going out for three years before I went to a mall en femme. They always seemed so big and scary. I give you lots of credit for doing that. I used to shop at smaller, stand alone store when out shopping femme.
Whenever I could, I would pay cash, but there was some times when I bought a lot of things I just had to have and had to used a credit card. Whether I was in femme or guy mode, I don't recall ever being asked for ID.
I've been asked about my pantyhose, told I have nice legs, nice shoes, and even was politely told I had a run in my stocking. At first, those encounters made me very nervous. After a few of them, I was hoping they would occur more often.
Not that I would ever wear pantyhose with runs in them just to get attention for my legs and the fact I'm wearing pantyhose. Um, Ok, maybe I did it a couple of times, possibly a few times. Alright, I used to do it often.
But, glad you're getting out and enjoying the experiences.
Great story Angela, and I had the same fears! I used to carry just cash for any purchases worried that someone would ask for ID. Eventually I got over that; however, I have yet to be asked for ID!
👏Angela, you purchased the beautiful dress at JC Penney! You apparently stayed calm in that surprising, never- before ask for ID. 💐 You courteously warned the polite employee. And thennnn:
She looked at the photo, looked at the card, looked at me, and smiled broadly. And I smiled back. And she finished the transaction and we both went on our merry way.
May your next Angela purchase via credit card be smooth and without surprises. If/when you're again asked for ID, then you'll have this successful experience ...in your purse .
Oh! It's a Saturday!
That means....😉
'Appreciate you,
Connie🌹
Thank you for sharing that story.
I first went out shopping in the early 80s. Back then if you used a credit card or check it was customary to ask for a ID. Back then I always paid in cash. Today is so much different. I have a Macy's credit card with my male name and never had a problem when shopping as Terri. I use my Mastercard all the time with the same result. Each time you go out it gets easier. Just relax and enjoy the experience of being yourself. Life is Short.
Angela,
I’m sure your story will calm some fears and inspire others feeling any trepidation about venturing out en femme, to finally take that plunge! I’m happy that you were able to handle it so well and just enjoy the experience. Thank you for sharing!
Hugs, Jill
Agree, it was so unwarranted to be fearful. Last week at diner with the girls, the waiter called me sir twice. I smiled and went on with the conversation without hesitation. Once out, these “ bumps” in the road are so trivial. Thanks for the story.
I hope you didn’t leave that waiter a tip!
When I had lunch last week with Vivian Vee, our male waiter was constantly referring to us as ladies and saying “ma’am”. I tipped him very generously.
Of course, it helps to look as good as you do.
I hope you adjusted your tip accordingly.
From one Angela to another. Is it not possible to ask your credit card company to take off you male title and use your intitials and surname? I know you are U.S. and I'm in the U.K. My credit company issued me with a card attached to my main account in my female name and being an international bank I would wonder if that could apply in the States? My debit card has only my initials and surname.
Great story of confidence though.
Interesting idea, Angela. I’m going to look into it. Thank you.
Hi Angela,
You might call your bank/department store who issued the credit card and add Angela as an authorized user. You’ll have a second card for Angela when she goes shopping next time.
Alice
