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Me and my femme

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(@Anonymous)
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Joined: 1 second ago

Hi, I'm Maria and just thought it might help me and some of you to share my experiences.

I started crossdressing in my teens and have been on and off ever since, so about 30 years! Unfortunately it has all been in secret, although in the last 6 months or so I am getting a lot braver and really want to be me (Maria) as much as possible. I remember watching television shows, and when my male friends were talking about how much they fancy a certain female presenter, I was always thinking how much I would like to wear an outfit like theirs. So, I could kind of join in the conversation and say things like 'yes, she looks good', but really meaning, I love her outfit! At about age 20, I did get brave enough to underdress out and about, which felt amazing, although always a worry that something would show. Luckily I was ok, although in a strange way, I wish I did get caught back then, so I would have well and truly have dealt with things by now. I got married and then I just secretly wore my wife's clothes, which was nice, but I wanted my own wardrobe desperately.

Then about 2 years ago, I got separated and divorced,(not for cding) and all of a sudden I found I had a massive amount of freedom. Well I had no clothes in the house as they were taken away, but I did find a dress left behind. So I tried it on and ended up wearing it all day. It was at that point I felt so free and comfortable, so I headed online and bought a load of bits for me:)

It was finally at this point that I finally felt I knew who I am. And now I dress up at every opportunity. I've not been brave enough to go out to the shops or anywhere yet, but I do dress up and go for a ride in the car which helps to some degree.

My aims for 2019 are to get out and about more and to get my body and figure how I like, so I can look the way I would like (to some degree). I've actually modelled myself on a woman at work, who wears a style I really like. Also to get to some clubs or groups where I can meet others and share experiences. Maybe even meet someone special! Speaking of which, the only slight doubt I have is what my sexuality actually is. I only really find Cds/Tvs and Tgs sexually attractive, so I kind of think of myself as bisexual, I guess, but I don't think it is as clear cut as that. But hopefully getting out more and attending various social events, I will get a better understanding. And I will definitely be trying to date next year as I'm totally ready.

Finally getting to know who I really am is such a relief and whenever I dress up, even if it's underdressing, I feel truly amazing. When I have to wear 'boy's clothes', I am always thinking about the next opportunity to be me again.

I hope this has been an interesting read and feel  free to share your thoughts xx

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Posts: 1264
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

Thanks for sharing Maria.

I only really let the Bianca in me out after a divorce which, as with you,  had nothing to do with cross dressing.

It was such a release to finally let this part of me out, not only experimenting with clothing, make up etc, but now pay much more attention to my body, love smooth skin, and my eyebrows have never looked so good. My persona has softened a lot, now not afraid to comment about fashion, chic flicks etc at work, or buy make up, clothes from the women’s section etc. Now I have nobody to justify my actions too.

I am a single parent which is a full time job, so have no time for dating at the moment. Nobody in my daily life knows, primarily to protect the kids from hurtful comments from ignorant people. This site was such a ‘ release ‘ for me, to be able to share this part of me with others.

Yes there are many good looking cross dressers out there, but my attraction is only in so far as admiring outfits, make up, hair etc, as one would a friend. I am heterosexual, but why can’t men look however they want to look, women do it, nobody is getting harmed, what’s the problem. Also, if I ever did get the opportunity to date again, I know it would be a difficult issue. Cross dressing is hardly first date material, and if you leave it until later in a relationship there my be the feeling of being deceived. Perhaps I will just go on being who I want to be on my own,as well as a loving father.

love

Bianca

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(@Anonymous)
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Joined: 1 second ago

I can relate to so much in your story eg "how much they fancy a certain female presenter, I was always thinking how much I would like to wear an outfit like theirs".

I hope 2019 is wonderful for you

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Topic starter
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Thank-you Natalie for your lovely reply. I'm so pleased it wasn't just me! It's how I've always felt. I'm working more being more feminine in 2019 as I really want to go for it 100%.

You have a wonderful 2019 too x

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