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Many say they are misgendered as female when presenting male. I never thought this would happen to me but happily was proven wrong.
Last weekend I traveled 300 miles to Atlanta en femme for a doctor appointment to which I always dress and am treated as a lady. I also met up with CD friends. I visited my three daughters and their families en route to and from. All have seen me dressed. However there were unexpected guests at the third visit, including mutual friends and my daughter's paramour and daughters who Didn't know, which was awkward.. probably more for them than me. The trip was adventurous in other ways as I ran out of gas many miles from the nearest station, after midnight, my credit cards had by hacked and cancelled, no one takes cash or checks these days, and I had to make 2 am calls to my SO and a daughter to help me register at a hotel and get a ride to a gas station. Those encounters led to interesting reveals and comments as I was dressed en femme but no doubt seen as male.
Back home I returned to male attire but underdressed as usual. I didn't bother to remove deep red nail polish.... which I always put off to the last possible moment. I needed to pick up Valentine items last night (a late shopper) so donned a red sweater, through which one can, if obervant, see the outline of my bra, and the bra itself shows off my man boobs even absent forms or padding, even though that is not my objective. I figured that, being Valentine's Day, my red nails might be acceptable in view of the day, without drawing attention. I was wrong.
As I checked out the cashier, no doubt not glancing up at my unshaven face, addressed me as Ma'am. I did a double take, as that has never happened to me before when clearly presenting as male. Either my nails or my chest must have been the trigger.
If that weren't enough, the bagger commented that she loved my nails and thought it great that a man would be bold enough to wear polish.
That goes down as a shopping experience to rival my best outings en femme!
The trip was adventurous in other ways as I ran out of gas many miles from the nearest station, after midnight, my credit cards had by hacked and cancelled, no one takes cash or checks these days, and I had to make 2 am calls to my SO and a daughter to help me register at a hotel and get a ride to a gas station.
How THAT happened looks like fodder for another story!
I get gendered correctly (female) most of the time. And I'm usually not trying. Me thinks it's 2+ years of HRT and long hair.
/EA
I have been raised to never allow my hair to touch my ears but decided to let it grow for past two years. Maybe my hair contributed to the illusion.
@rhondalee One of the few good things to come out of the COVID pandemic. The perfect excuse to grow out your hair. I milked it for a year.
@emilyalt Glad that is working for you Emily. Things changed a lot for me as my hair got longer too. Marg
@rhondalee I think a lot of people are misgendered often. I remember years ago while grocery shopping, not even trying to present as female being called Ma'am by the cashier. It was winter time, my hair was longish and I had 2 days of stubble on my face.
I am often called he by those who knew me before Cassie.
Cassie
Rhonda, what an adventure. So many things to happen in just two days, the making of a movie if you ask me. So glad it all went well and what an ending.
Sherri
I have always been a risk taker so find myself in many, often hilarious, predicaments. I could write a book on them. The experiences might be embarrassing, but they have never led to harm, nearly always lead to positive affirmations, give amusement to all, strengthen my self-confidence in not just dressing publicly, but many other facets of life. They have even helped me avoid problems I couldn't have overcome if not dressed, such as being locked in a cell.. officers really don't want to face such dilemmas, and there is such a thing as female privilege that extends to crossdressers. Such adventures are part of the fun of crossdressing.
Well Rhonda a lot of reasons can be read into the last interaction at the store but an unusual misgendering.
One can only speculate as to the reasons but it could be that your mannerisms are so feminine now you do it without thinking and those little extra touches sealed the deal.
Rhonda,
I typically present as a man regardless of the clothing that I may be wearing. That being said, I have often been misgendered as a result, being both referred to as sir, ma'am, or my personal favorite the polite question of which pronouns do I prefer. Being misgendered does not bother me as long as the error was done out of respect. I have also been misgendered by my voice since I was teenager. And again, I am not bothered by it as it is mistake made out of respect. And while I would correct the caller in the beginning, I stopped doing that before I even left my teenage years behind.
MacKenzie Alexandra
I agree. I have attended Metropolitan Community churches, where one is encouraged to come as comfortable and warmly welcomed. Even there there are presumptions that I am lesbian or transitioning. Early on I might try to explain neither are true, but in time I realized it didn't matter to me what others thought. If anyone cared enough to ask (unfortunately almost never) I'd engage happily but otherwise I saw no point. If one is misunderstood even in an accepting environment it is inevitable one will be misunderstood and perhaps even corrected or condemned elsewhere. I decided to expend energy where it matters. There is little point to trying to influence opinions if the recipients aren't open minded or questioning. I am not insulted to be thought lesbian or transitioning so it is not a consequential issue. I can accept being misgendered if out of ignorance but it does bother me if out of disrespect. And in this age. I would THINK that most would attempt to use preferred gender pronouns if known or err on the side of addressing someone in a manner consistent with their presentation.
