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How would you describe your current motivations for dressing and have they changed over the years? With me, I would say it started off as a sexual fetish for girdles and hose as a teenager and then changed to fully dressing when I could from my twenties on with less eroticism than before. However, that element has always remained to one degree or another with my ultimate fantasy of my wife being encouraging and actually turned on by my dressing. I realize that all of our motivations are different and am interested in yours?
How would you describe your current motivations for dressing and have they changed over the years?
Nothing about my motivations has changed since I started crossdressing. As Jack Webb used to say, "Just the fashion, ma'am".
My fashion sure caught the eye of a bunch of civilians today.
@maureen76 I have always wanted to be female but the stars did not align for that so I evolved into a male who prefers to dress as a woman. As I approach my 76th birthday nothing has changed.
@maureen76 I'm one of those persons who simply wanted to be female and dressing is my way of being in alignment with this. I've always just wanted to be one of the girls and blend in.
@maureen76 it hasn’t always been this way. I dress now because I feel more like me when I’m in femme mode than not.
@maureen76 Sounds similar to me. I didn't really understand it at a young age.. in my teens I feared it. from 20s to up to a few years ago it was erotic but I rarely got the opportunity and with what I could scrape up in secret. rarely anything that really fit me. I used to fantasize about having real breast forms and thought that would never happen. then I saw a breastplate whole top end and I was OMG. The past few years all of those fantasy's have become reality . even dressing with my wife. so Im finding it difficult to fantasize and I miss that. Its weird when I could say my dreams came true now what do I dream about. Lately its been take it or leave it and as I spent most of my life wanting it gone Now im afraid Of losing it. Been confused lately not interested in getting something new have not been shopping. will partially dress for a few hours once in a while then im good.. I went from obsession to Meh and I dont like it. I I guess when forbidden fruit is no longer forbidden. well its just Fruit!! Cheers RC
@river ." I went from obsession to Meh and I dont like it. I I guess when forbidden fruit is no longer forbidden. well its just Fruit!! "----That is a very interesting point River----I remember the first times I wore women's underwear as a kid---it was exciting, it was "forbidden", and I felt very naughty---all those things have disappeared over time. And with old age, all my passions have cooled down
RC
@maureen76 My motivations have definitely changed over the years. I started out just wearing my older sister's panties and enjoy myself before washing them and putting them back in her drawer. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I first put on a bra. God, was that great! But for me it was still taboo and therefore a sexual thrill followed by guilt and purging. When I joined CDH three and a half years ago, my wife asked me if I wanted to dress as a woman and go out in public. " Hell no!" I said, and I meant it. I just wanted to wear bras and panties. But as I began to read stories of so many girl here describing there forays out in public fully dressed and the sheer joy of those experiences, my desire, and thus my motivation, changed drastically.
Now that I no longer feel ashamed of my desire to wear women's clothing, the taboo element evaporated and with it the majority of the sexual attraction too. Though, there is still an element of it and I believe there always will be. Now what motivates me is to dress, is the absolute joy and bliss I feel whenever I embrace my feminine half and allow her to take control and dress as she wants to, with a beautiful wig, makeup and all the accouterments of womanhood, then go out and enjoy being in public and treated as a woman. I'm still happy being a man, but I LOVE being a cross dresser!
Hugs, Jill
@jillannquinn Hi Jill---yes I think the experience of hearing from other cross dressers here at CDH definitely influences our own view of cross dressing as demonstrated by your own story---Hugs, Maureen
@maureen76 I believe that part of that influence comes from the understanding that we're not alone after all. Knowing that, is no small comfort to me and I'm sure to most of the girls here.
@maureen76 i've never really question my reasoning too much, it simply is what it is. Couldn't have been eroticism when I started at 5 or 6 but when puberty kicked in, it was all about the fetishness. Stayed that way until much later when I spent the day dressed even before sharing with my wife. I would've thought the last decade has been about feeling pretty but the first silicon enhancers I got this week maybe changed that. I don't know, & don't really care why, it's just me.
@maureen76 the first time i dressed i was 18 (Sure my sisters once put me in a dress and my parents freaked out when i was still a child). I left home going to a different city, all i had was an empty room, a shared bathroom and a matrass. I bought a goodwill box from a thrift store because it had plates and forks in it. When i unpacked it fully i noticed it had a pair of heels in it, and thats not all, it was my (very large) size. Ive always heard people complaining its a hell to walk on heels so i just had to try it! And f### it felt AMAZING. I put them on when i needed a pick me up. It stayed like that for 2 to 3 years. Then i bought a dress, dont even know why, prob because i wanted to see it matched with a set of my heels (that was 4 pairs now). Nowadays (especially after my partner found out) i dress 4 times a week.
I just noticed im writing a novel so I'll sun up. I started out curious but it went to comfort pretty quick, and it stayed there!
@crazycynthia Hi Cynthia, I like how you turned a mini novel in to a synopsis---LOL---from curious to comfort!!
How would you describe your current motivations for dressing and have they changed over the years?
Well, I have to wear something.
I live full-time. What I wear at any given time depends on my mood and where I'm going.
There was nothing erotic about wanting to wear a dress when I was three. I just knew that was what I should be wearing. The adults in the room had other ideas.
Eroticism came later. It wasn't the motivator for wearing women's clothes, but it was an enjoyable reaction!
/LK
@lizk I wonder if that erotic element plays some role (minor or major) in most of us girls here no matter whether we self identify at a CD, Trans, Inter sex, gender fluid etc.? Somewhere is all that, it was pleasurable to some degree at some point.
I never wore women's clothes for erotic intentions. They just felt right. But yes, things happened often enough.
Now, it's the connection I have with someone that gets me going. The clothes I'm wearing aren't a factor at all.
/LK
My motivation? I just wanna be me. I've always wanted to be female and had those wishes and dreams as a child. I just feel so much more alive and fulfilled as a woman. For some reason it the introvert becomes the extrovert and I no longer feel like letting the world revolve without me.
Years ago, I did a little dressing for fetish and sexual purposes, but these days it's play-acting, being someone else; like being a kid and pretending you're James Bond. There is no sexual motive at all, those days have long gone.
@rebeccabaxter Interesting---that is a little different than my "evolution" in that for me. it is still a sensual experience to some degree
Motivation: If I ask it like this, "What >motivated< you to where you are today?" It was that with my earlier cross dressing, yes it felt good, but something inside still wasn't right. The continued dysphoria motivated me to explore this year to think outside the box. I then asked myself, "Are you a trans woman?" I tried it on, considering what the differences are, began living this way, and I feel MUCH better. Actually HAPPY like I've never been before.
Fashion-wise, at 68 years old, I am motivated to do justice and flattery to the appearance of a 68 year-old woman. I already know the wardrobe, I am working on the makeup.
Dani
Big question. Complicated answer that I haven't quite worked out.
What motivated me first was curiosity - what would it feel like to wear a bra and panties? After the initial sexual excitement and thrill wore off, what motivated me was that each little expansion in my exploration of my feminine side, didn't just not feel wrong, it felt right. Particularly when it came to how I looked once I'd started shaving my beard and doing some basic makeup. I'd never felt this good about myself before. I realised that I am trans, even if I'd previously had no dysphoria. After trying life en femme more-or-less full time for a couple of months, I was so much happier, even if I hadn't been unhappy before. That's why I made the decision that I'm staying this way 🙂
@finallyfiona Yes, many of us have been following your story and seen your recent pics with girlfriends. I hope things are still proceeding with your ex--- I remember you saying that you were seeing each other and trying to work things out--- Best Wishes---Maureen
I just know it's something I need to do and feel comfortable in a pretty dress and a pair of smooth tights. I am perfectly happy with being male, but Anna time is a something I have always wanted and I left it a long time to let her out of her box.
My motivation is simply to show the world the real me.
@d44 and you are living the life and certainly very much "out in the world"---Hugs Maureen----great pics
I am with Fiona as that is my motivation as well.
A little bit of each of all of the above. Depending on the day. And what mood I’m in.🥰 Whether I have any new dresses to try on. Hence, I see it mostly as a hobby. I certainly don’t need to crossdress. I just want to because it’s really fun. And I like the challenge of trying to look like a GG. (As well as an old dude is able to.) I want to be as good looking as possible - but in a fairly casual way. I don’t need to pass, and I want to look nice without a lot of heavy lifting or too much time involved. Those are my motivations. And because crossdressing is the complete opposite end of the spectrum of everything else I do for fun in my retired life at this time. Another good topic Maureen that will get a lot of action😊
GP
A little bit of each of all of the above. Depending on the day. And what mood I’m in.🥰 Whether I have any new dresses to try on. Hence, I see it mostly as a hobby. I certainly don’t need to crossdress. I just want to because it’s really fun. And I like the challenge of trying to look like a GG. (As well as an old dude is able to.) I want to be as good looking as possible - but in a fairly casual way. I don’t need to pass, and I want to look nice without a lot of heavy lifting or too much time involved. Those are my motivations. And because crossdressing is the complete opposite end of the spectrum of everything else I do for fun in my retired life at this time. Another good topic Maureen that will get a lot of action😊
GP
@gracepal Thanks, Grace---I think every one of us has different reasons---and it has gotten some good comments so far
Maureen, my motivation is to dress as close as I can to a natural woman. I think it’s always been that way. But of course there were things that I wanted to experience when I dressed, and I have pretty much done all of them. The other thing that motivated me to dress completely as a woman was that I really wasn’t sure if I was just on the CD side or if I was trans. So, the more I dressed, the clearer it became to me that I didn’t want to be female all the time, just every now and then.
@jennconn very interesting--- "So, the more I dressed, the clearer it became to me that I didn’t want to be female all the time, just every now and then."----a different take than some others here---I think I can understand---it takes much time and effort to dress fully on a long term effort----but you never know if it is really what you want until you try
@maureen76 No Maureen, sometimes you DO know what it is before you try it. As long as you weigh all the variables and you know yourself. I know what I like and dislike. I’ve only been surprised a few times and even then thought: “Well, I don’t ever need to do that again.” To dress fully short term is tough enough. I can imagine long term dressing quite easily. And being glad that I’m not female so I don’t have to.
GP
My motivation is to be happy with the lady inside of me the feeling dressed is a whole new world I started off with leotards and some how moved into the more stripper look not sure why but my style my so no support so there be no fetish there just she laughs at me how I look but all good we all got are own unique ways of dressing and motivation to who we are and become
@erinb Like Tower of Power famously said in a song "Everybody's got there own way, to get high. Everybody's got there own way to feel good inside"
Very interesting topic and responses so far. I agree with Maureen about the beginning of this journey. When I was a teen, it was all about eroticism and all that went with that. As I grew older, that element faded to where there is rarely that kind of sensation involved now. I have always had a desire to dress pretty with all the lingerie definitely part of the equation. The more feminine, the better. I have grown to love the feel of a bra band hugging me, the satiny underwear, so smooth, looking down and seeing a feminine chest and sleeping in a nightgown. But why, I wonder. Is it because as I get older, my level of that boy hormone is decreasing resulting iin a relative increase in the percentage of estrogen circulating within me? Is it that I love the female form so much that I am driven to emulate it? Is it exciting to do this forbidden thing? Do I just like that cosmetics seem to take years off this old facade and allow me to once again feel youthful and healthy? I suspect it is the sum of all these things and probably others that haven’t occurred to me yet. What I do know is that I do not want this ride to stop. I love my Penelope time. The only way you can take my brassieres from me is to peel them from my cold, dead hands.
@fabulous1 I am driven by a very strong desire to emulate women. I believe the more comfortable someone is with their femininity the greater the desire to more closely emulate a woman.
And I agree, it feels so nice to get 10 or 15 years taken off my looks by using makeup.
@fabulous1 A very thoughtful reply and I identify with several of the reasons you postulated--- perhaps as my level of male hormones is diminishing so is my former male sexual excitement but there also seems to be an increased level of "female" sensuality that is there and wasn't before. It centered on my breasts and nipples---how they feel in a nightgown or bra. Perhaps the increased estrogen has taken my dressing in a different direction
@maureen76 It would be interesting to find out if there is any scientific research that would support the theory. Do the relative levels of testosterone and estrogen affect male behavior? And to what extent?
@fabulous1 That would be an interesting study--from personal experience, I think they must---as I have aged and my T levels decreased I find that my sexual feelings have moved from down below to up above---but that's just my experience
@fabulous1 That’s a good take PM…I never thought about decreasing testosterone and increasing estrogen levels causing my crossddressing habit to demand more of my time. Makes sense.
GP
@gracepal I also wonder if mom took a long drag (pun intended) on her cigarette at the wrong time when I was developing inside her. Is that why I’m Penelope? Dunno, but I’m glad I found this place and I am able to be me.
@fabulous1 We had the same Mom.🥰
I like to think that “we girls” just have a bit higher bar when it comes to our hobby. It takes a certain amount of refinement if you will😊. A VERY exclusive club.
Just wanted to add that I consider crossdressing to be my hobby. I compare my hobby to a person whose hobby is say making artistic clay pots. The potter tries again and again to make the “perfect” clay pot. One that is pleasing to the eye. One that wins the artist accolades from their peers. A clay pot they can be proud of.
I consider my pretty time in much the same way except I am both the artist and the clay. I desire to make myself the most perfect and presentable specimen as I am possibly able to.
@fabulous1 Penelope--- that is a good analogy and a great way to look at your dressing----when I can devote more time to "my hobby" I will remember what you said here---it is something to strive for---to look a little prettier each time--Hugs, Maureen
I started dressing as a child of about 6, being fascinated by my mum's sheer tights and sneakily trying them on. And it just developed from there as I got older... And it has always been the lure of tights (and I mean pantyhose, of course) that has kept me dressing.
My ;motivation' these days is that I can't stop; that's who I am, and after all the years of wishing I could and trying not to, I have accepted that I cannot resist the look and feel of these clothes, the makeup, the accessories and perfumes. I am fortunate to have found someone who accepts me and recognises that I am just a better, happier person than I was.
@caroline2k Caroline--that is similar to my story of starting off with one item of clothing and then it expanding from there--- you must be younger than me because the items in my mum's drawers were girdles and stockings while the items in your mum's drawers were pantyhose
you must be younger than me because the items in my mum's drawers were girdles and stockings while the items in your mum's drawers were pantyhose
Perhaps, but I'm not sure if that's why Maureen... I was always fascinated by tights. I can clearly remember as a very small child being told "No! Boys can't be Bunny Girls" when I announced I wanted to be one after seeing them on TV. I used to spend ages looking at the tights in my mum's mail order catalogues.
Had I wished, I could have accessed my gran's stockings and girdles, but they never had the allure. And still don't to this day, although I am quite happy to wear them on occasion (over a sleek pair of very sheer-to-waist tights!).
@caroline2k Ah, I had forgotten the joy of mail order catalogues---I must have worn out the pages of the lingerie section---I am surprised my mom never caught on
@caroline2k I'm with you on tights. I love them. The first pair I tried on were my sister's. After that, they were my own.
Hugs, Anna xx
@maureen76 You are right, Maureen. I had access to my mother's and older sister's girdles and stockings before the era of pantyhose. When pantyhose were introduced a few years later, I wore them, too, but not with the same degree of fascination. In my teens, I enjoyed how a "real" girdle hugged and shaped my body. Pantyhose felt good when I pulled them on, but they didn't offer the same degree of control I liked. About 25 years ago, I lost interest in wearing girdles, and now I find happiness wearing the numerous garter belts and stockings in my collection.
Isn't it great how each of us is different and brings a diverse viewpoint to make life interesting?
Lisa Ann
@lisadouglas Yes, Lisa---each of us has a different perspective on the wonderful world of cross dressing---I also liked the sense of being controlled in a girdle----but not only for myself---another dream I had was to be girdled along with my wife and for both of us to touchingly explore the others girdle as well---I am glad you still enjoy garter belts and stockings to this day---Hugs, Maureen
@caroline2k That’s me too. When I was younger I did stop but I still had the urges. Wished they’d go away too. Then I get to be retired and I’m thankful I have such a cool hobby to spend time with.🥰
@gracepal We have a "Carl's Hobby Shop" here in the town I live---I wonder if they would have a section for cross dressers----LOL---It would be great if they did---a sign that cross dressing was now mainstream
