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How do we measure confidence? With me, it's the things I do and how I feel about doing them, as compared with how I was before I found CDH. Since joining this community, making and meeting good friends, I've used the encouragement and support I get to exponentially increase my comfort zone. Ok, I can't see me walking out my front door all dolled up (well, not right now anyway 🤔) But, I'm doing things, and thoroughly enjoying them, that, 15 months ago, I simply would not believe.
This week I went for a professional waxing. Full arms, legs and chest/stomach, (yeah, that hurt a bit 😱). I've tried shaving, wax strips and creams, sticking with the wax strips, (yes, it hit me as soon as I wrote it, so I changed it to "staying" but it didn't scan as well) that takes time and I get bored easily.
So, I did a quick search for men's waxing and there were lots of results but some of them put me off; little known back street places and people offering to "come to your home", with mention of "other services".
However, my daughter, who I recently came out to, and can now have this kind of conversation with, told me that a local place did waxing. I've been there before, first time was to see a private podiatrist and another couple of times for remedial massages. Each visit was a huge success, pain eliminated 😊. It's in a lovely old building, high ceilings and big internal doors, and the service is excellent. Professional and friendly.
I can book online but I thought it better to check that they do men's waxing so I called and they said, of course, so I duly booked and, five minutes later, my wife reminded me of another engagement on that day. This time I did use the online booking to change the date.
I turned up about 10 minutes early and took a seat in the reception/waiting room. A couple of minutes later, the beauty therapist came along and welcomed me and showed me into the treatment room. She asked if I'd had waxing before and I told her, yes, but it's a bit of a faff and the results are hit or miss. "Ok", she said, "I'll leave you for a couple of minutes to get ready." I told her that I was wearing loose shorts and would that be ok? "Perfect" she said.
All very matter of fact and friendly, she proceeded, straight away, with applying and ripping off the wax. It didn't take long before I was telling her my life story, or at least the past 18 months of it, as she got on with the waxing. I did say, "You must hear some stories in this job.""Oh yes," she said, "but it stays between us."
I could hardly believe 90 minutes had passed when she said that was it done. I am delighted with the results, much smoother than I've ever achieved. She reckons it'll need done again in 8 weeks. So, at £10 a week, that's not really going to break the bank but I liked the title so I kept it. Anyway, what price beauty? Or as near as I'll ever get.
The thing is, I hardly gave the whole experience a second thought, it's all part of expressing who I am now. But, 18 months ago, I would have needed strong anti anxiety medication even to make the telephone enquiry!
So, to all our newer members, this is what we mean when we say that this community can enable real life changes and improvements in each of us. If I can.....
Allie x
I'm sure there's some clever response which makes a connection between 'waxing' and 'a slippery slope'.
I've tried shaving, wax strips and creams, sticking with the wax strips
Since you are used to yanking your hair out, you should look into using an IPL wand. Yanking the hair out compliments using light. Both kill the roots in different ways. One hurts way less, too.
Thanks, Harriette. I have looked at IPL, but I saw a few articles saying it doesn't work on grey hair due to lack of pigment.
Allie x
@alexina My grey hair would disagree, if it still existed. In fact, there is way more dark hair still on my chest than white hair. And it seems some areas of dark hair are fairly resistant to the IPL light, so it isn't just hair colour that is doing that. A lot of hair, including white hair, stopped growing surprisingly quickly.
White hair seems to be more of a problem with laser treatments than IPL, from what I can tell. The laser light has a very narrow frequency bandwidth, IPL's spectrum is broad.
Even if it didn't work on light coloured hair, even it it only worked on dark hair, it still is better and quicker than yanking all of that dark hair out, too. Yanking hair out is the preferred pairing with IPL, not shaving or creams, because it helps to kill the root quicker. And that is the ultimate goal, right?
It took about 1.5 years of focus to get rid of my leg hair, and I just noticed recently that my armpit hair seems to have stopped growing, too, and I didn't really go at it all that much. I will have to keep an eye on those patches, but it looks promising.
I am still picking at the remaining scores of ingrown hairs above my knees, though, left over from shaving, so I won't be shaving my body anymore, that's for sure.
I have written often about IPL here, so anyone can search for those posts. 📖
That's intrigued me enough Allie to ask "why not me too?". So I started researching.
Two questions for any of you out there with the experience.
How does the pain profile compare with epilation ?
What's other's experience of the going rate for a full body waxing ? £80 seems like a bargain compared to the prices I've encountered checking online for male waxing. So far my best searches comes in at double that. I'll have to move to Scotland!
eM x
Hi, eM, never tried epilation so I can't help with that one. I saw a range of different prices when I was looking but, as I said, I wasn't inspired to look further into the cheaper ones.
I think quite a few waxing places cater to the bodybuilding devotees and charge a bit more because of that.
Allie x
I think quite a few waxing places cater to the bodybuilding devotees and charge a bit more because of that.
Allie x
Oh, that explains the photos that the male waxing websites use - I thought they didn't look like me , hah ha !
@emmat I can tell you that waxing hurts less than epilation and I think it does a better job too. It's just a lot messier if you do it yourself, and although I have managed to do my own arms once, you really need to be able to get two hands (as well as eyes) on any area you want to wax.
I just had to check, didn't I. 41 years since she released that song!
Still great though.
Allie x
It is, Caroline, not to mention...I was going to say time-consuming but time-filling is more appropriate, and in the best way 😊.
Allie x
OK ... I can't resist this, so here goes: It is lovely to hear you wax lyrical about your experience.
But I totally agree, it soon becomes a totally normal part of life. I also found that after the first few waxings any "ouch" moments rapidly disappeared and I just don't realise it is happening while I chat away with the beauty therapist (sometimes about all sorts of feminine subjects).
After being prompted by my wife, I started waxing about 10 or 15 years before I really started crossdressing in earnest. Over time I have been through 4 or 5 different waxing parlours, moving on in each case for different reasons:
1: The lady sadly had a heart attack (not while waxing me, thank goodness, and thankfully not too serious, but she decided to retire).
2: Just once; the young lady seemed ill-at-ease waxing me, so I did not return.
3: Lasted quite a few years, but her business declined to the point where she was doing it in her Cotswold cottage with only 2 customers, of which I was one. In the end she decided to close the business. She was really good at the job though!
4: Waxing parlour called "Room 101" (refer to "1984"). Lovely Italian lady, but COVID arrived and she went back to Italy.
5: Current beauty parlour attended by both myself and my wife. They don't do full waxing for men, but they do for me ... go figure! The BEST person I have ever had for waxing, but her baby is due in a few months, so the last appointment will be in July.
So, Allie, you will have many more enjoyable waxing sessions to look forward to.
Hugs, Rebecca x
You sound as lucky with beauty therapists as my wife and I are with restaurants and cafés. I think we're at four now, that we've visited, thoroughly enjoyed and then recommend to friends. Only to find they're closed.
Yes, it'll become a fixture in my maintenence routine.
Hugs back.
Allie xx
Oh well done Allie! Your confidence is certainly going in leaps and bounds hon 🙂
I've not used a waxing service as yet, although the lady who does my nails and laser at my local salon also does full waxing for men and I'd be very comfortable with her. But I already have my own waxing systems (roller & hard wax) for the places where I won't use my epilator. Quite an apposite topic, as this afternoon is going to see them all in use, ready for a certain big night out at the end of the week 😉
