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I started at my 18 only wearing panties .
After i met my partner i quit .but it always came back , i started more and more to feel something wasn't complete .
I came more and more jalous about my wife her dressing style . It suppose to be me who was wearing that dress .
After a carnaval party where i was dressed as woman (drag queen ) it felt correct to me .
I quit again after 10 years i restarted for a short period with her coopporation .
I looked too much like my mother when dressed up . My wife unhappy with the idea and me too so quit again .
Now i am restarted in a rollercoaster of mixed emotions . Is it correct is it not ,angryness about those feelings etc etc
It want go away so i can better give in to it
Emma
@emmacdl Emma, accepting who we are and what we are compelled to do is the first important step to starting to enjoy the wonderful feeling of being cross dressed. It certainly helps if you have an understanding/tolerant partner or better still a supportive partner. Because you are right, the urge to dress never goes away and can cause unnecesssary feelings of guilt if we do not embrace what is a harmless to others lifestyle.
So congratulations on your first step. This site is full of helpful, insightful, fun ladies who will provide the support you need to move forward.
Enjoy the journey and embrace the wonderful world of crossdressing.
Hugs
Christine.
@emmacdl Hello Emma,
Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to CDH. I have struggled with some emotional ups and downs over the years over crossdressing. I’d say you are feeling quite normal.
Caroline 💋
@emmacdl
Hello Emma,
This desire to dress and feel feminine never goes away, at least in my experience. I purged so many times, mostly out of guilt and it always comes back, try to embrace who you are hopefully your wife will understand.
P.S.
I love Brugge very much, have been there three times, every time try to explore something different, was there just two weeks ago.
@emmacdl Ya as others have said at this point it will never go away. you can hide it , suppress it , tolerate it , all at your own distress , but it is what it is.
I found once I got acceptance from my SO and I was able to dress alot after some time It backed off a bit. though I still think about it alot, it's not so difficult to ignore. like purging the pink fog and just waiting for it to build up again.
This freedom did accomplish something though it made me realize I don't want it gone. I love River and she is part of me. and it's just something fun to do that I can look forward to. I would miss that If it ever went completely away.
Cheers RC
Hey @emmacdl I’ve been dressing for over thirty years, I started in a similar way; In my late teens and early twenties everything was secretive, snatching opportunities to dress up when my parents were out; desperately scrubbing mascara off; panicking as I realized I’d left the magnetic stud earrings in… which would have been a disaster. The emotions go from exhilaration, excitement, arousal, thrill and freedom and can very quickly dive bomb in to guilt, self-loathing, fear anxiety and more.
The desire to get dressed up comes in waves, it’s super distracting and persistent; there’s no doubt in my mind that the desire to dress displays very similar characteristics to addiction. I’ve heard a fair few folks talk about purging and regretting it very much when they were compelled to go and spend money on a new wardrobe and accessories.
I don’t have any practical advice for you; I can say that you are not alone, and the feelings you are experiencing are common.
Underdressing works for me a lot of the time, and if that’s not quite enough, then I’d invest some time and maybe some cash on creating a look that is as far a way from mother as possible.
Sending you good vibes and hoping you get through the other side of the rollercoaster.
nvn
@naivian do you have the urge to dress when either your SO is away and you feel lonely, or there are big emotional upheavals your overwhelmed by? These seem to be triggers for me so to speak.
@longlegsvb1 sorry for the delay.
I definitely get “waves”, I haven’t identified particular triggers exactly, and definitely not ones connected with emotional state.
For me it feels more visual, so if I see a pair of heels that catches my eye or when the Venus catalog lands in the mailbox, or even a to-die-for dress on a TV show.
I totally understand the emotional vibe though especially as it relates to intimacy, but I usually turn to the top shelf and a glass for the kind of moments you’re describing.
@naivian thank you for your perspective - I do get your vibe also - shoes do it for me! Nice dresses on pretty models too
