My first brush with nightclubbing

It was 1994. I'd been out & about plenty during the day & was a frequent visitor to Newcastle's Transformation shop (yes lots of UK people are no doubt muttering under their breath about those shops as they read this... ).

Transformation had a reputation of being rip-off merchants among our community. Well, some of the stuff they sold was overpriced for sure but when I was a regular & had started filling out my own wardrobe that little shop in Newcastle became a lifeline for me.  Back then not only did they offer full makeover services but you could take your own clothes etc, have them do your makeup, stash your regular clothes in a locker then go & explore the town - at a fraction of the cost of their full makeovers (and with better clothes - your own!).  They later brought another service in where you changed there & did your own makeup etc  - this was my gateway to many a blissful Saturday.

This however wasn't enough for me.  I'd been an avid reader of Mixmag & DJ Mag for years & often found myself dreamily staring at the photos of trendy clubs in London with their drag queens & all manner of gender experimenters. I SO wanted to do go out dancing! Problem was I didn't know where to go & I didn't know anybody to go with.

I'd probably told the staff of Transformation this so many times & one Friday afternoon when I'd dropped by after work for a natter somebody told me something very interesting.  A young lad from the club up the road had been in earlier in the day to tell them about a new night there.  The DJs were called TWA (like the airline) - T's With Attitude & all people of our ilk would be welcome.

"Well?" a shop staffer said.  "Isn't this exactly the kind of thing you've been going on & on & on about for ages?  You should go!".

I hummed & hahhed saying I didn't have anything ready to wear so she pointed out that Newcastle's shops were still open so go buy something new.  So I did.  I rushed to TopShop & picked out a slinky black polo shirt dress. I went home with my new purchase, had my dinner, did all the necessary prep & headed out in my car to change somewhere discreet.

Once ready I drove back to Newcastle & parked near the T shop just before they closed so I could have a Polaroid taken of me in my new outfit.  The staff wished me the best of luck & told me they wanted to hear all about it next week.

Of course I had lots of time to kill before the club even opened its doors so I drove round for a while & ultimately settled on nursing a pint of Coke for 2 hours at The Yard pub.  After watching the world go by & reading the 'gay' papers I went back to my car to drive closer to the club.

On getting near I saw the queue.  It was right around the block.  I drove past it & got cold feet.  I'd driven half the way home when I changed my mind again.  Come on, silly! Go back into town, park up & join that queue!  You've waited so long for this!

I parked up, joined the queue, chatted to strangers as if I did this kind of thing all the time, complete with surprise from onlookers that I wasn't a 'real girl' I was a.....     (oh you're a....!  WOW! You look AMAZING! kinda thing).  Then at the door of the club a doorman asked if I had a ticket. Nope, I didn't have a ticket.  Oh I need one?  Can't I just pay to get in?  What?  All sold out?  Ach well at least I tried, right?

Dejected, but proud I'd even tried, I started walking back to my car.  "Excuse me!" came a voice from behind me.  I walked faster.  "Excuse me!  Do you want to buy a ticket?" asked a lad not much younger than me.  It turned out he'd arranged to meet friends there & they hadn't shown up so he was trying to cut his losses. I paid the £10 face value for the ticket, turned right around & rejoined the queue.

This was immense!  I could hardly believe what I was doing.  I'd never been to a club by myself where I didn't know anybody, let alone in a dress & full regalia.  Well, I'm here now!

I put my jacket in the cloakroom, stashed the ticket in my bag & went to survey the club.  Obviously as I was driving I stuck to only soft drinks.  The dancefloor started to fill as the energy of the music grew.  I joined the dancers.  I got thirsty, bought another drink.  Then eventually I needed the loo, so off to the ladies' I went.  Eeek I'd never been to the loo in female mode before.  Fine, fine, all fine. Then I'm touching up my lipstick at the mirror & a girl said to me she didn't know how I could even walk in those shoes let alone dance.  I told her they were comfy & that my ex girlfriend had given me them.  "OH!" she said.  "I thought you were really a girl but you're a.. ".  Ahaaaa!  Yes I'm a.....   She said I looked really good though.

Off I went back to the dancefloor til closing time.  On the way back to my car, jacket in hand I felt hungry so decided to grab some chips (fries) from the nearby takeaway.  The guy behind the counter called me gorgeous.  Okaaaay lol.  I ate my chips sitting in my car then headed for home.

Half way back I decided to pull over & get changed.  Then it hit me.  The thing I'd dreamed of doing for ever so long, I'd just gone out & done with barely even a flinch.  Looking back I probably had doubts & fears but I hadn't been brave at all, nope.  The imperative to do what I must do had taken over & overridden everything.   Of course it all came streaming out of me.  I cried tears of absolute joy.  My hands shook as I took my makeup off. I was in BITS.  Eventually I regained enough composure to drive the rest of the way home.  I slept with my brand new polaroid photo under my pillow.

The next day I wrote my ex gf a long letter detailing my adventure. I enclosed the polaroid.  3 days later I got the photo back, carefully packaged in thick card so it wouldn't get damaged, along with a reply on 3 sheets of A4 paper. The top sheet had "YOU COMPLETE & UTTER BABE!!!!!!!" written in magic marker in huge letters.    Well, yes. I suppose I had been.  

Thirty years later I look back on that night & wonder where the drive to push myself like that ever came from.   I struggle to call what I did brave - it was just what a calling, some huge imperative had me do.  It still inspires me these days sometimes.

I went back to that club more than a few times.  Once even with the girl who'd given me those shoes - that's a whole other story in itself lol.  Planet Earth is a block of flats now & I sometimes make a point of walking by if I'm passing.

Of course nostalgia is ok in its own right but we must always forge forwards & make new adventures... and that's what I love doing 🙂