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So I’ve had an interesting month or so, and have been off of CDH for most of that time. It’s odd but a recent milestone gave me a sort of sense of peace I think?
About a month ago I was deep into the pink fog, but not in a detrimental way as it usually can be. I was in such a deep feminine state and felt as if I was living as close to a woman as possible for myself. I had a night where I was able to go full girl mode from top to bottom and took advantage. I was fully smooth as usual, fresh pedicure, some of my best makeup work, and a cute outfit and hair! I wore a really pretty tan sweater dress I just got with black pantyhose and wedges. I felt so attractive as my feminine self, it was great.
My friends and I picked up gaming together during the lockdowns and sometimes will be on camera to feel like we’re more together. I will often be dressed in secret when we do this and I’d just be off camera. This time I just felt so authentically myself that I just didn’t care about what they could say. If they didn’t accept this version of me, that’s an issue for them, not me. So I did it… I just came out and said “so I have a very random announcement but I think you guys are going to say no big deal, but I’ve been a cross dresser my whole life”. Then I turned the camera on! When I say the way my stomach felt hovering my mouse over that button was upside down it’s an understatement. But, just as quickly as the camera came on, so too did the surprising compliments! I was just in shock with what I’d done and how great it felt to have some of that weight off of my chest. We sat there playing games while I was Rebecca for hours and hours until it was bedtime. After we’d said our goodnight and logged off, I was working to change back from Cinderella and my phone buzzed. One of my friends sent the sweetest message to me. He said that he was really proud of me for being brave and that he appreciates the trust I had to share this with them considering the state of the world today. Also said,”and if it’s not too weird to say, you looked damn good if I do say so myself”. I had never felt so normal and accepted in my life.
So since that night, I’ve had this feeling of calm about my feminine side. My draw to CDH was lower, I had less desire to push boundaries with the wife, and CD in general just feels more “normal” I guess? Hence my hiatus from posting in the forum and being here for you all. I guess I’ve just been processing things for a bit. I always intended to come here to type up the experience for you lovely gals. I’m sure there will be even more Rebecca gaming nights to come that I will share with you all. Heck, maybe you’ll see me on Twitch streaming as Rebecca Gaming or something…may need some help workshopping the channel name with my friends here 😝
Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I’m sure the editing is atrocious but such is life 😊
@rebeccaoh that’s so awesome Rebecca!! I’m so excited and happy for you!! And for the record , we missed you!! Hugs…jo
Rebecca, that's great to hear, well done you, for owning it. Thanks for writing about it, and, believe me, your editing is fine, you should be pleased with it.
I certainly expect to read of more Rebecca gaming nights, oh, good luck with that, by the way.
Allie x
@rebeccaoh Rebecca, what a beautiful good news story about your friends acceptance and love. I checked out your public photos and you do look great! I love your long curls! Hugs, Dee
@deesmith1 I kiss that more curly wig, sadly it got too tangly so it’s out of rotation these days 😢
@rebeccaoh Way to go Rebecca! Well done girl, more power to you 🙂
I remember when I came out at work, in the first conversation with HR and my line manager, he suggested calling up one particular female colleague of many years, and having the conversation with her directly rather that letting her know by email. The moment when I turned the camera on and she saw me as Fiona was just so joyous for us both. I hope you are able to keep those feelings from that evening with you 🙂
Big hugs,
Fiona xxx
@rebeccaoh Rebecca, how cool is your story! Just wonderful for you honey. Ooh, you have some lovely looks girl. I've postulated before that those of us who are living their authentic life maybe don't necessarily need to be on CDH all the time. Heck, me, I'm on here constantly 😂 xx.
Thanks for sharing Rebecca, this is so inspiring. You have crossed a major milestone. Congratulations!
Rebeca - that's so amazing that your gaming friends accepted you. 😀
Tres cool! And amazing hugs going your way!
Love
Rachelle
Wow Rebecca! You are so brave. Your friends are friends indeed.
Super happy for you. This took guts, and it sounds like it worked out splendidly. It's one thing to daydream about what it would be like to bring our CD selves into our regular friend groups, but a whole other thing to make it real.
@ginawedges No kidding, I always thought once I was ready to do it I would feel like it was easy no big deal. Definitely not the case, was a big scary step in heels 😂
That's a big step you took and I'm glad it turned out well. Bit of weight lifted off your shoulders feels good, doesn't it?
A great story Rebecca! Thanks for sharing.
Alice
Hi Rebecca, truly a wonderful story and thankyou for sharing, hugs Gwenny
Telling friends is always an anxious time. Many, many years ago, I told Terri very close friends that I like to crossdress, but the never saw me as Cerys. Scroll forward a few years, my wife and I were out drinking with close friends. We'd had a few, and talk was flowing. My wife, without warning, or prior discussion, blurted out my secret. Needless to say, I went bonkers! This nearly finished us. I was so angry that she could betray my trust. My friends were fine with this revelation, I must add.
Hit that forward button again to about five years ago. Cerys was playing a bigger part of my life. I was venturing out under cover of darkness. I was visiting my counsellor as Cerys. Things were moving forward. I wanted to be less confined. We had a party at our house. My wife and I agreed that this would be where our close circle of friends would buy only get to know about my "hobby", but would also get to see the other me. I spent the day stressing. What was I going to wear. Nothing formal, nothing too "tranny". Many outfits were tried before it settled on my first "coming out" outfit. My friends had no idea that I was going to tell them a secret.
I got ready for the evening. I was seriously nervous. These were good friends. Very good friends. I knew that they would be OK with my secret. This didn't make it any easier. I had asked them to arrive at a specific time. This was so in could make a grand entrance.
My friends turned up. I was hiding upstairs. They gathered in the living room where my wife told them that I had a secret and wanted to share it. One of my friends said "he likes to dress as a woman. We know. Freddie two years ago made that clear".... Two years previously for Halloween, I dressed as Freddie Mercury a la the " I want to break free" video. I heard this and decided that the secret wasn't the secret that is thought it was. I can't down into the living room. No one cared. Everyone was supportive. As the evening progressed, the ladies offered me advice on how to sit like a lady. How to eat without ruining lipstick, and various other things that a man needs to know about being a lady. It was a great night. My nerves were all for nothing.
Introducing Cerys to friends for the first time still happens. The nerves have gone now. I do try to pre warn them, and ask them if they are ok with it. There are.
One of the great things about being a crossdresser is that you learn who your true friends are.
Cerys
@dazzler that sounds like a great coming out party to me, if not a bit anticlimactic. Hopefully I have a similar experience minus the exposure by the wife, that’s scary for sure. Thanks for your story Cerys!
Thank you for a wonderful post. I love these stories as they encourage others to just be themselves. The vast majority of these are positive, which should tell us something. While we do not need to announce ourselves to the world, we also do not need to hide it away either. The few people I have told, and have seen JJ have all been wonderfully suppprtive, even my wife. I hve never had a negative reactiin, and when out in public as JJ I have had nothing but positive comments. I have had the occasional odd look, and no doubt some people talk amoung themselves, and I am fine with that.
Are your gaming buddies close friends you see regularly, or internet friends you just interact with online? BTW, I agree with your friend, you look great.
@jjandme a little bit of both actually. I met them through a friend from an old workplace. We get together in person every few months since I live an hour from them and we all have things going on. So, we just link up online for the most part.
