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This is my story. It isn't totally flashy but it does have its moments. I'm 34 years old and married with a wonderful little boy. I have been wearing female lingerie off and on since I was a teenager. It began when I would try my mother's stuff on and loved the way it felt on me. After awhile, I began to take small items and hide them in my room to put on at my leisure. The silkiness of the material made me feel good. This went on for a while then one day, I came home from school and both of my parents were home. I knew something was up because I knew my dad's schedule. That was when they told me what they found in my room. I was devastated and embarrassed. Not long after they found out, they put me in counselling which I resented. After that incident, I decided to bury my desire to wear lingerie as deeply as I could. I was 16 or so years old at this stage and I know I wasn't the same since I made that decision.
A few years later, I transferred from a Community College to a university (I'm leaving the name out) that was 4 hours away. When I got there, I felt like a different person. It was during college that I began to rediscover my love of dressing women's underwear. The mall was only a bus ride away so I would go there and roam the stores. That was when I began to buy panties. I was to scared to buy a bra but I did end up with a very small collection of panties that I would wear to class as well as to bowling. I felt like myself again.
While in college, I met my wife and became afraid again. At first, I continued to wear panties but as we got more serious, I once again buried my desire to wear female underwear. I didn't want her to know because I wasn't sure how she would react and I did not want to lose her. This was in 2006 and two years later, we were married. For the next 8 years, I didn't do much. I kept my secret buried for that entire time. Five years after we were married, we welcomed our son into the world.
A few years later, my wife and I were having a deep seated conversation. It was during the conversation that I just couldn't keep things buried anymore. I broke down and finally told her everything. I told her my past and I told her about my love for wearing lingerie. I was scared when I told her but I felt relieved that I finally got it out of my system. I wasn't sure how she was going to react. At first she was in shock but then who wouldn't be when someone just told you something like that. I told her if she had any questions, all she had to do was ask.
IT wasn't long before she was asking questions. I answered them to the best of my ability. The answers seemed to have settled her down. She was accepting of who I was. Before long, I had my first bra with a matching panty. It is a pushup bra so I really only wear that one out in public during the winter months. I do have a non-pushup so I wear that one out when I can. I also have a matching panty with that one as well. Lately, she gave me a couple of pieces of lingerie she no longer wears. I also wear her pink silk robe as well. I also have bought two pieces of lingerie of my own.
I know my story is different than most. I have an accepting wife, a wonderful son, and I'm finally comfortable with who I am.
Pattie,
My experience is actually very similar. I too was outed as a teenager. To say my parents were accepting could not even be considered an understatement. Being naive, I told both my parents and the psychiatrist what I thought each wanted to hear. I did not understand the feelings myself and processed them at the time with filter provided by my parents. The result was to bury them so deep in the closet that it took 20 years before I truely let them see the light of day.
I also told my wife after several years of marriage, nine years in my case. Her reaction was almost a complete copy of your description of your wife's reaction. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a wife who has been understanding, accepting, and supportive within her limits. We are soon approaching the one year anniversary of my disclosure. Our relationship has grown stronger in that time and our understanding of the feelings involved, both mine and my wifes, has also deepened. It has not always been a smooth ride, but the result is a better position than the position in which we were a year ago.
I wish thee the best on your continuing journey.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Pattie you'll find that your story isn't really different from most others. There are many of us here who have accepting partners/wives. My wife and I often go out together.
We even have a group here only for wives and other SOs. Some members are completely accepting, some are coming to terms with finding out their 'other half' is a CD while yet others can't understand but want to accept and support.
It's amazing how often we find others who have similar experiences.
Jane
Hello Pattie; Your beginning story is very common. It's good to hear that your feelings weren't broken by the counselor. Being in the "closet" with this secret is very common. You're also fortunate to have an accepting wife. Many on CDH have that. It's wonderful that you have accepted and embraced your self.
Sounds alot like my story. Glad to hear your wife supports you.