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hi girls. I thought I should try to give you all a brief insight into my story about being a cross dresser and how it all began. to be fair I have always felt feminine from a very early age but never really understood what was going on. my earliest recollection with dressing was about age 15-16. as I was living with my mother the only source of clothes was via her. I used to 'borrow' panties out of her underwear drawer and sleep in them at night, it just felt right and oddly enough I got a better nights sleep in them for some odd reason. I met my future wife when I was 30 and still heavily into my cross dressing but going out with someone and cross dressing was difficult so like before, it was all in hiding and secret. the children from her first marriage were still young so they needed a father figure to look up to so I had to be very careful at this time. as the children grew older, they became more independent and I was able once again to devote more time cross dressing and of course my wife had a plentiful supply of clothes just waiting to be worn! the children turned into young men and were going about their lives at work and university, I felt empty and wanting, I was desperate to tell my wife as I hated keeping anything from her, especially something as important as this for me. days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years, I was wearing my wifes underwear under my pyjamas at night, she really had no idea but I hated the deception and I felt I was cheating on her. my emotions got too much and one night when we were watching tv, I confessed to her about my cross dressing, her reply was 'I had a feeling you were doing something like that as I kept looking for underwear that had gone missing.
I think in all honesty, most men at some time in their lives have tried on a pair of their wives knickers, they may not be a true cross dresser but purely experimenting, who knows?
the relief I got from telling my wife was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, like many years of pent up frustration, deceit, hiding and deperation had disappeared. I used to see pretty girls walking in the street and feel madly jealous of them, purely for their beauty and the way they wore clothes and walked, now I see a pretty girl and I feel no jealousy, thinking to myself, i'm just as pretty as her, I have pretty clothes. its a great feeling, does wonders for your morale and personal well being.
I had achieved all that so far but there was something vital missing. friends. I needed to talk to like-minded people, its ok wearing pretty clothes, smelling nice and feeling glamorous but I needed to chat with people like me as I never had done before. it was a huge step for me to come out of the closet as it were, wondering how people would take to me, would they be opinionated? would they be judgemental? would they agree with me dressing as a young girl as opposed to a fully grown woman? I had two options, yes or no. I decided to go for it, and in all honesty I am glad I did. I have chatted to the most lovely people on here, what a great bunch of girls you all are! so from me, fiona, I want to thank you all personally for accepting me, letting me chat to you and I sincerely hope I make many more new friends on here.
thankyou, to you all, love and kisses from fiona xxxx
Hi fiona and so many of us can relate to what you have written. It is important to try and meet up with other gurls like us to gain the confidence and release of anxiety over our life style. It is wonderful to chat but so much better to get together for outings and visiting one another. I made many friends from a support group here and it made all the difference in not being afraid. Good luck sis
Hi Fiona for your words. I feel Denise has said so much that I would love to say to you. It is so important to not hold on to our fears but share them. For me, I would try my sisters underwear on when I was a young and I was overwhelmed with emotion. Now I have never told my sister but at that time it meant everything.
We all need friendship and being honest to the core is the best solution. It is so hard as you say, coming out, but you say it all there. It opens the door and lets someone in. Thank-you for opening a few doors for me. Leslie XX
your very welcome leslie, thankyou for the kind words xx
love fiona xx
hi denise. thanks for your kind words and encouragement. this site really has opened up a whole new world for me. its great to be in touch with people that understand. take care and thankyou.
love fiona xx
What a great article Fiona (I love the name). I can truly relate to your experience..except the part about telling my wife about my CD.... Kathy walked in on one of my Leonara moments... I was a "deer in headlights". Somehow we worked it out. I only dress when the opportunity presents itself.... And I have my own intimates, dresses, shoes, and makeup....
I hope you take advantage of all the articles on CDH and I hope you contribute more articles.. You are great writer....Leonara
Hi Fiona I also started dressing in the mid 50's at about 15, My sister was two years older than I. We had just moved into A new home, my father had received A large inheritance from his fathers estate so for the first time our family had money to buy us kids some really nice clothes. My sister and I shared the upstairs bathroom together. One night while getting ready for bed I found my sisters new baby doll nightie in the hamper it was A pretty pink and so soft and silky I picked it up and was checking it out when sis walked in on me, she just looked at me than said, what do you think your doing? I was so embarrassed, but before I could say anything she said if you want to wear things like that just ask, I understand boys like to play dress up. At that she said she would get me A clean nightie to sleep in tonight. She brought out A baby blue nightie and handed it to me, gave me A hug and said pleasant dreams and went off to her room. All this time I wasn't able to get A word out, I did wear the nightie to bed, how good it felt to have my young body in that silky nighty. The next day all I could think of was the feeling of wearing A nylon nighty I was hooked for life. My sister winked at me that evening and asked if I enjoyed last night's sleep. I responded it was the best ever and thanked her over and over. Before going to bed she handed me A pair of nylon panties and said enjoy, and that I did very much so. My crossdressing started out on A good note and just got better as I grew up. Sarasue
Lovely story, Sarasue. I wish my sister had been so helpful and supportive. Best to you, Melissa
hi leonara. thanks for the kind reply. I am usually a very shy person but this site seems to have brought me out of myself quite a bit, I guess for once I am conversing with people like me who can relate to the ups and downs of our lovely lifestyle. I never look at it as a negative but merely a lifestyle choice of which I enjoy and feel happiest. sometimes your thoughts, emotions and activities are hard to put into words but I felt that I should share my experiences and maybe it might help someone else.
love and kisses, fiona xxx
hello sarasue. your story sounds very similar to mine, only you had some support. i'm so glad that you enjoy your experience as much as I do. doing something like this when you are serious but on your own can be very disheartening.
kisses and hugs, fiona. xxx
Hello Fiona-Ann; Thank you for sharing your story. You have my admiration for your courage to reveal to your wife. Even if I had that courage, I can't tell my wife. One evening she suspected I'd wore a pair of her panties, which I had. She laid the hammer down pretty hard, so I know she would not accept or support me if I reveal to her.
Since that night in late 2015, I started buying my own intimates; Beginning 2018, I accepted my self as a crossdresser(its been a part of me since I was 8); Since joining my local CD/TG support group in September 2018; I now know I'm gender fluid. When I first found CDH I read all the forum posts, including yours. A member of CDH is also a member of my local CD/TG support group, and last month I decided to join CDH to reach out and talk to more "like minded" people. Since joining CDH, I'm re-reading all the forums, thanking the topic starters, and offering positive advice and support. I saw you posted this last year and you're now a CDH ambassador (congrats). I'd be honored to hear from you. Please feel free to message me anytime, from Brittney Andrews.
Hi Fiona thanks for sharing your story with us x I started to Crossdress in the 60s when I was about 8 or 9 years old x I used to wear my older sisters clothes she was about 4 years older than me so she was a teenager x it was nice to wear her clothes and lingerie until she got married and left home, i gave up for awhile and then got married myself after a few years i started again but with my wife's clothes x I've had a few close calls over the years but have not been caught yet x I'm still in the closet with my wife as I'm still afraid of what would happen if she found out and said she wouldn't want to be married to me x hugs Rozalyne x
Thanks Fiona for sharing your beautiful story. It is wonderful that your wife is so supportive. I also agree with you about CDH. This is the only place I have ever discussed my cross dressing. Everyone I have met is so supportive and encouraging. It really is a great community to be a part of and share with like minded gurls.
Hi Fiona
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I love your profile picture. Your hairstyle is gorgeous!!! It really suits you. 🙂
Stacey xxx