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I am 6'2 250 I wear a size 13 men's shoe. I love wearing women's clothing and high heels. I want to go out dressed up but I am scared to go out in public. I love getting dressed and just going on long drives. I have been forced to go to the rest areas or get gas the entire time I was scared someone would say something but they didn't. I just wish I knew a way to get more confidence to go out in public. I have been to a couple of clubs with my wife and enjoyed the time.
Hi Nicky,
I’m a plus size girl too and love going out dressed up. I find that most everyone is wrapped up in their own business and barely notices others. A GG might smile so keep a big grin on your face. Try to blend in with others and watch other women to follow their mannerisms and movements. As you blend in your confidence will grow and you’ll become more relaxed. Just think of all the fun you’re having.
Alice
Hi Nicky
Sounds like your SO is comfortable with your feminine side. It's easier with someone that supports you rather than going out by yourself. It is scary until you are comfortable being Nicky when Nicky has the courage to finally go out. Have you tried making an excuse to go out with your wife as Nicky ... like clothes shopping to dress for the weather? Or woman's tights because of poor blood circulation and vercose veins? Or heels that provide a higher arch for your feet if you are not flat footed?
You've already taken the 1st step in going out to rest stops and gas stations....how about stopping by an out of town supermarket or a 7-11 as well to pick up a small non-essential item or 2...(use the shopping cart as a distraction...people will pay a lot less attention as they often are too busy and single mindedly thinking about what they need to buy.)
That's helped me calm my fears...in the meanwhile, enjoy your journey Nicky.
Summer
@nicky35 How you feel is totally normal, so don't beat yourself up over it.
However, I agree with @alison-anderson - you just need to believe. It's a simple thing, but simple doesn't mean easy. What you will find however is that the more you do it the easier it gets. I feel the most important thing if/when you decide to go out is to behave as though this is just a normal thing. People are keen to sense when someone's acting dodgy and it makes them suspicious. I walk around being 6'2" (mostly) and in bright red hair (also mostly) and draw looks, but I think people see someone just going about their business and so they just shrug and get on with their day.
Unfortunately you don't appear to be too near any larger cities - those tend to have groups that schedule events and outings where you can meet likeminded people. Do you have the ability to travel to one of the larger group events? Erie, PA or Atlanta, GA, or Las Vegas?
I understand your being nervous while dressed up. We all fear the worst will happen. Recently when I was dressed up for my counselor appt and my key-less fob went dead, I was scared to death Thankfully I was able to get it going and home so I could change for work
My journey began when I was a little boy and loved seeing my Mom dressed and seeing all the little girls with their Sunday dresses on. I wanted one so bad but growing up in a rural area and on a farm I knew that I would never own a cute dress. I was either a suppressed CD or never went out. After my divorce, which was not about crossessdressing, I started dressing more and more. I wanted to go out and enjoy my life as Carla.
I started small, sitting on my deck, going to take the trash to the road or driving around some. One day I told myself I have as much right as anyone to be me. So I started going shopping, movies, Disney World and other things that girls like to do. I'm 6 foot tall and was 240 lbs but have lost weight and now down to 190, so I know how it felt to see myself as the tall chunky chick in a dress. I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10 and that has made it easier to go out. I even cut my grass the other day in a bikini top and booty shorts. Yes my neighbor saw me but she knows that I like to dress. The most daring thing I have ever done is using the ladies restroom at a Buc-ee's outside Macon Ga.
Start small, celebrate your success and build from there.
Hey Nicki, as ever some lovely helpful and practical responses from all the girls here, but I'm with you. I'm 6'00" and 190 lbs and just don't think at that size it's ever going to work 😢. And yes, I love heels too 😊.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Nicky, it's not often I'll disagree with Chrissie, but on this one I'm going to. I'm the same height and weight as she is, with the same size feet as you, and I can tell you that no-one bats an eyelid when I'm out dressed, which is normally a fairly casual dress or a skirt and top. Even when I wore a proper smart-ish dress this weekend, there were no reactions. See my public photos for this and some of the other outfits I've been out in.
I've yet to wear anything other than flat soles however. That said, I am planning some excursions where my sparkly wedges or even some medium heels will be appropriate, and I'm not expecting any reactions then either.
To me, the key word in all this is 'appropriate'. The dress I wore was suitable for the weather and for my visit to the gardens of a stately home, even if I then wore it round the supermarket on the way back. On warmer days I've seen plenty of women in dresses around town too. But none in heels, unless they're obviously dressed right up for an occasion such as a wedding. When I eventually do go out in my 'posh' shoes, they will be suitable for where & what I'm going out for.
Just a thought, do they have casinos in your state? Other girls have mentioned before that they are very safe with lots of cameras and security on hand. That could be something you could treat as a classy night out and dress up fully for. Go for it honey, you know you're going to enjoy it 🙂
I will not side with either of my very dear friends Chrissy, and Fiona, hi girls. It’s how you see yourself, and that can be altered. I’m 6’2” and 200 lbs, not exactly Twiggy, ( look her up youngsters). I have been out multiple times on my 3 visits to vegas. I was upside down scared at first. I got a super makeover and dressed as a sane , mature woman. I saw myself in the mirror, and said Yes, I got this. I opened the door and gave the world the benefit of my presence. I thought only of what I saw in the mirror and didn’t even notice the general population around me as I strolled the busiest pedestrian areas. That’s the key, don’t look for negative vibes from others, LOVE YOURSELF!