Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I met a friend for coffee this morning. We don't normally meet on weekends, but he works varying shifts and we've not been able to catch up for a few weeks.
We're sat having coffee, and I need to visit the toilet. Toilets in UK coffee shops tend to be unisex, and only one occupant at a time. The toilet is engaged, and a lady, maybe in her early 50s is waiting. As we stand there, I see her looking at me (I am in Cerys mode). I smile at her. She then says to me "I do hope you don't mind me asking, but are you a man?". My reply to her was "Not today.".
I went on to explain that yes, I was a man, and that I like to present as a woman. She then told me that I looked great, and I had great dress sense.... Like I need telling!!!!! 🙂 She had seen "people like me" but never got the chance to talk to one.
The person using the toilet, came out, and this lady went in. I went in after she left...
As I was walking back to my friend, the lady waved me over to where she was sitting with her friend. She thanked me for the little chat, and wanted me to be sure that she was supportive, but just curious. She said that with all the sht going on in the world today, people just need to be more accepting of others, and to live and let live. It was a really nice chance meeting, and it gave me chance to explain that 99.999 % of crossdressers and trans people are nice decent folk just doing what they do. She was surprised to hear that I wasn't gay, and that I had a wife. It seems that the belief that crossdressers are gay, is still rife in the world.
I returned to my friend. A good friend of maybe 30 years. He asked who the lady was, and I told him that she asked me if I was a man...... His response... "She had to ask???????" 🙂 🙂 Thanks very much old friend!!!!! I've always said that you can tell your true friends when they feel free to take the pss 😉
All in all, it was a great morning!
Cerys
@dazzler indeed what a lovely moment thanks for sharing with use as a closet dresses reading post like yours makes me wonder if it’s not so bad to adventure out we hear about more hate in this world then good but today maybe I should think I could be accepted in this world today my mind is truly wondering 💭 lost what an amazing experience you had first handed
@erinb I live in Cardiff, Wales, but I travel all over the UK. I have never had a negative experience. Yes, people look. I've heard the occasional "is that a man" type comments, but never anything negative. Never any hate. 90% of people don't notice, and 99% of those that do, don't say or do anything. I dress to look good and blend in. I try not to look "typically tranny". When out, I act as though it's perfectly normal... To me it is.
Confidence is key. I started slowly. Short walks at night. Then daylight walks in parks away from home. Then a coffee shop. Then a supermarket at night when it was quiet. little outings gathering confidence. Then I nearly died! Whilst laying in hospital, I decided that I would no longer hide away, and after a lot of discussion with my wife, who was very nervous, I decided that it was time for the world to properly meet Cerys. She's no longer a secret. Anyone that knows me knows of, or has met Cerys. At the moment, I'm practically living as Cerys. I prefer presenting as female, though I don't want to be female. Cerys is my Facade. She's my superhero alter ego.
Cerys
@dazzler I love this story Cerys. That is truly a true friend ya got there. They’re the ones who are honest with you. And the inquisitive ladies, my kinda gals! I have found, as you have, that most people think we are gay. My social circle certainly all do. For the most part.
I think that’s primarily why many here are challenged in letting their wives in on the game. Having to explain yourself. “Honey, I’m not gay, I just want to wear panties and bras and hang with other men who do too.” It’s embarrassing! 🤷♀️
GP
Another wonderful story Cerys. When you recount these little episodes they leave me grinning broadly (yes, really!) and make me feel good inside, just as if they had happened to me. Thanks for sharing.
I have never directly been asked if I am crossdressed, but I think most people I interact with have figured it out. They have ALL been very accepting but, more than that, I find it makes me memorable to them. When my wife and I revisit those places we seem to get a warmer than expected welcome, in coffee shops we have been served little extra goodies that were not ordered, staff stop and chat with us more ... I am sure this is genuine and not just my imagination!
Events such as those you recount are real confidence builders. I look forward to reading about your future adventures 😍 .
Rebecca x
@fembecky Yes, we do get remembered. My wife and I were in a shop the other day. This shop is usually quite expensive, but every now and then they have a 50% off sale. We saw the sign in the window and had to visit. Two of the shop workers (there are 4) recognised us, and treated us in their usual friendly way... The staff know that I'm male, but treat me as they would a female. This includes encouraging me to try stuff on, and bringing stuff that they think we'd like. it's a real experience.
Cerys
she had to ask? i know i'm not totally passable, but no one has ever asked if i was a guy or not. i have seen a couple of young ladies at a gay bar. i don't know if they are real women or crossdressers but i didn't think it would be nice to ask. what if they were real women and i asked if they were crossdressers. if they were real girls i'd feel stupid. so i keep my mouth shut. if they are crossdressers they are knocking it out of the park.
Fantastic. That's a true mate. BTW. Are you sure your not Aussie?
@mary Many years ago, when I finished my electrical apprenticeship, and my girlfriend (now wife of 34 years) had graduated from university, we seriously considered emigrating to Australia. We felt that we would fit in. Sadly, we never did.
We might try and get over for a holiday one day, but there's a danger that e wing want to come back to Wales 🙂
Cerys
@dazzler that kind of humour fits right into our culture. I hope one day you do make it over.
My Goodness what a fabulous story.
With kindness Gwenny
Cerys -
What a wonderful experience for you. That is sweet that she asked and you took the time to talk with her. If only there were more people like her around (I guess there are just can't see them).
XOXO
Suzanne
I agree Cerys, with all the 'nonsense' going on 99.9% don't care, there are more important things to worry about.
What a great story, thanks for posting, and thanks for representing all of us in such a positive way. Most people are like this lady, accepting, but lacking direct experience with LGBTQ...
Helping people gain just a little such experience goes a long way toward others' acceptance. No doubt she went back to her table and talked about the lovely chat she just had with a very normal person who just happened to be dressed differently then most people.
