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When I was returning from my recent trip where I ventured out for the first time, I felt like I wanted more. I stopped at a mall on the way back home and ventured into the Torrid store, in drab. I quietly explained to the sales people that I was CD and that I would like to purchase an outfit to wear out into the mall and out to my car. Both of the sales girls reacted as if I had just bitten the head off a snake. While one of them reluctantly tried to help me, the other walked just outside the stores entrance seemingly looking for something. It turns out what she was looking for was mall security. She comes back into the store with two mall security people following. I looked at her and asked if that was because of me? (I am not an imposing person and all I was doing was trying to do was quietly purchase some merchandise.) She mumbled something at which point I thanked them and told them that there would be no sale to me this night and left the store, disappointed (I had found a really nice black leather skirt that was on sale). Just a wanted to let you know about a recent experience I had at a Torrid store.
@fabulous1 Which mall was it? I've been in to the Torrid at Columbia Mall a few times (both in guy and girl mode) and never had anything but helpful people. Though to be fair, I merely go about shopping, I've never asked anyone for assistance with anything other than checking out.
Gosh that's an awful experience Penelope what were the sales girls thinking!! I am sure they will not be getting your business anytime soon.
Sorry to hear this happened to you Penelope, really? security ? I had a similar experience where we live at Torrid as well. Wife and I were just looking at their dresses and tops and the sales associate asked if she could help. I asked if they carried a size 12 for a dress I liked. She just looked at me ( in drab) with a curious look and walked away. We keep on looking and I noticed she and another associate were talking and laughing. Over priced anyway. Luv's Kathi
Every store is going to have different people so it’s tough to blanket say a chain is accepting. I hate you had to deal with that, that’s just awful. If a woman walked into a Lowe’s and asked for a tool belt there would be no issue. Or if a girl wants to go buy men’s anything it’s like nothing happened. The weird double standard is so annoying, I’m angry for you right now yeesh. They never deserved your business…
Gosh Penelope, Im sorry to hear you had a bad experience at Torrid. ive never heard anything but good news about Torrid. But ive never tried to purchase anything there in either boy or girl mode,
I'm in the UK, so have no experience of Torrid stores.
At the moment, AFIK in The States, it's not illegal for a man to dress or present as female (for now, at least), so what you wanting a female outfit has to do with security in anyone's guess. I would suggest a very strongly worded letter to the store, head office and to the security company/mall owners. Maybe a chat with a legal advisor, too.
Cerys
If I may give you an idea of what might have been going through the SAs minds since you were in drab:
"Yes, sir, how may we help you?"
"Hello, I'm a cross-dresser."
"Ok."
"I know I am wearing a man's clothing, but what I'd like to do is buy some women's stuff from you, use your changing rooms to put it all on and, after paying, walk out into the mall wearing it."
No matter how you personally might have reacted to this if you were the shop assistant, you must appreciate that with so many weirdos around these days, the sales assistants may well have felt somewhat on the back foot. They don't know if you are genuine, or whether you're trying to get some sort of perverse kicks from the situation, as they can see no evidence that you are what you say you are. You may well find that these people are normally quite used to dealing with CDs and trans women, but it may also be that you came across as less than normal and perhaps a little frightening.
I don't know, I wasn't there, but sometimes you have to take into account how someone might see your behaviour. You may have felt it was all quite normal; they may have thought it anything but.
That said, if they were just close-minded bigots then they are completely to blame.
Sorry if I've played devil's advocate but I try to see both sides, at least at first.
Becca
I am reallly surprised they acted so negative, most retail employees especially females are super nice, all they want is to make a sell. I don’t shop at Torrid, but I accompanied a friend, they were super cool with us.
Hey Penelope,
l’ve visited Torrid multiple times and not had a problem. I’m sorry to hear of your experience. As Brittney suggests, I’d report the two sales associates to Torrid corporate Human Resources. The associates receive training to treat all customers with care as they are the faces of the company. In fact the sales receipt has a link to a survey a customer can fill out to relate a positive or negative SA experience.
Perhaps, you could relay your very negative experience to that store manager.
Alice
I'm new, so this may be an unpopular perspective, but I never specifically tell a salesperson I'm a CD (or trans, as be the case). I expect they can figure it out when I ask to try something on, or if someone comes to help and I say that "I'm looking for something to wear".
I have every right to shop there as anyone else.
30+ years, I've never had a problem. Now, there is always the chance that they respond as they did for OP. I was once denied trying things on, but it was sort of a closed-off area, and there were other women back there. While I knew I wasn't going to do anything, I did appreciate where they were coming from. As I recall she still fronted me a 20% coupon. 🙂