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READER:
Retiring? Wait! What? That doesn't look right. WTF Emily! Who the hell is this Liz K person? Did someone hijack your account? Is Billie messing with you again?
ME:
Nope. Nothing like that Hon. I'm retiring Emily Alt. She had a good run but she's not me. Not really. She'll be a fond memory of when I was still figuring stuff out.
Most of you know I'm trans. Well into transition. Lots of things happen when you transition. One of them is a legal name and gender change. That's happening. I got the court order last week.
My legal name is Elizabeth. You can call me Liz. And no, I won't tell y'all my last name. I don't want trolls showing up on my doorstep. Liz K will do.
READER:
But why not keep Emily Alt? That's who you've been for so many years.
ME:
Good question. 'Emily Alt' was a name I chose long ago when establishing my online identity. Back then, I identified as a CD and never thought of it as a potential legal name. Once I understood that I was trans, it became clear that I needed a new legal name. I got serious about it early this year.
Although I'm fond of 'Emily Alt', it's not the name I wish to legally bear for the rest of my life. In essence, it has always been just a screen name for me.
There is one place you'll continue seeing 'Emily Alt'. My username. That can't be changed. And I'm not dumping 5 years of memories for a new username.
READER:
Oh.
ME:
I invite y'all to start using 'Liz'. It's okay if you forget. I hope you like my new name!
Liz
@emilyalt
Fabulous news, Liz! Congratulations on your new name and all the legal gubbins that goes with it! Much hugs and best wishes!
xxx
Thanks Jacqui! It's part of the process. There's still plenty to do. That said, my smile is a bit wider lately!
/LK
@emilyalt Congratulations Liz, it's a lovely name 🙂 What wonderful news, that makes me so happy for you! I hope your new identity takes you to the best places in your life 🙂
Big hugs,
Fiona xxx
I hope your new identity takes you to the best places in your life 🙂
It already has Fiona! The love and support I'm feeling from my sisters reinforces that CDH is my home.
The name change has done wonders for my head. I've started a new chapter. The legal identity I've had my whole life....my male identity....is also being retired. It's always been a source of dysphoria. Not so much anymore!
/LK
@emilyalt
It's just the PERFECT name, and I love it.
instead of writing loads I'll just do this:
Absolutely MASSIVE hugs,
Ellie x
@emilyalt
I was just looking up the meaning of 'Elizabeth', and stumbled on a survey detailing which words people associate with the name. Here they are:
classic
mature
formal
upper class
natural
wholesome
refined
complex
serious
I have to say, that's a pretty good list!
Hugs
Ellie x
Ellie - I can't resist having a closer look at your list....
classic - okay, from a few different angles.
mature - enough to stay out of trouble!
formal - nah, I'm pretty informal.
upper class - LOL hardly!
natural - I suppose.
wholesome - pretty conflicted on this one!
refined - does lots of education count?
complex - agree, all women are complex beings!
serious - when I have to be, otherwise no.
/LK
I'm laughing out loud Ms. Davis! There are times when minimalism is the best form of flattery!
/LK
@emilyalt
Congrats! I like it! When I saw your picture and clicked on this topic, I thought you were retiring from work. My eyes didn't register the different name as my coffee hasn't taken affect.
@emilyalt Hi Liz, I like it. New changes need new identity. So many people get stuck in the past and have trouble coping with what's happening in the present. You have to be who you are, there is no other way to stay sane. Good luck with your transition. I hope everything goes smoothly. I don't know what mental changes one has to deal with during the transition period and would love to hear your thoughts as you progress if you feel like sharing it with us.
I had open heart surgery a few years ago and the hospital had people who had gone through that to come and talk about it so I would be prepared for the after affects. It was a great help to be aware ahead of time. I was given morphine for the pain but, had hallucinations because of it which was so rare they didn't mention that possibility. I thought I was going insane it was so bad. I wish I had known in advance about that, it would have helped. I'm rambling on about myself here!
Good luck, keep in touch, love you,
Tia
Hey Tia! Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I totally agree with you about living authentically. It's kept me sane! Dysphoria really sucks. Transition saved my life.
As for the mental changes, I've written several forum posts about that. I won't rehash them here for brevity's sake. You can search my posts if you like. TLDR - the changes are profound. It's a rewiring of your brain....in a good way. Imagine stumbling around in a dimly lit room when someone turns on all the lights.
As for being prepared.... Yes, my endocrinologist did describe what might happen. But I wasn't expecting the profound changes that hit like a bus several days after my first dose. It really was like being in a dark room when the lights get turned on. A massive improvement within a matter of days.
/LK
@emilyalt I’m very happy for you, Liz, and how you’re moving forward with your new life. May it be nothing but the best times ahead!
Hugs, Jill
@emilyalt Thanks for updating us about your name.
I don't try to follow people's on-line ID changes. There have been too many, in my experience, to want to keep up with their changes. There is one player that has had at least 6 IDs that I know about. That's too much.
I created one great, identifiable ID related to a game genre in 2003 and have only used it on-line since then. I even had one player come into an on-line lobby and ask, "Are you the real <ID>?" One player tries very hard to find out my name for his own pleasure, tries tricks to get me to slip up and reveal it. Won't happen. However, world-wide, everybody knows me only by my iconic name, so I see no reason or benefit to ever reveal my real name. Since it works so well elsewhere, I have started to do the same thing with my en femme name.
If you keep your Emily ID here, then continuity remains and we won't have to think. With Elizabeth, you picked a classic, even royal, female name. 😁
Thanks Harriette!
If I wasn't transitioning, I wouldn't be doing this. There wouldn't be any point. I did consider keeping Emily Alt for my online persona. But it would be awkward in social situations. I have a lot of friends IRL that also know me online. I want to live authentically. Juggling names doesn't make sense.
I've always loved Elizabeth so it was an easy decision. The rest of my name was not easy!
It's troubling that someone would try to trick you into revealing your real name. I hope that hasn't happened here.
/LK
@emilyalt A simple, authentic life is better.
No, I can't imagine someone here trying to pry too far into my life. I'm good. 👍
@emilyalt
Congratulations Liz, on being well on your way through transition! I can totally understand the desire to adopt a name that suits you for your real and future life.
Kim
Thanks Kim! I've said it before and I'll say it again. I didn't know how much I needed this until I did it! A new chapter!
/LK
@emilyalt
It sounds wonderful. I am not quite there yet, but much farther out than I once imagined possible.
Love,
Kim
Just keep following your path Kim. That's all any of us can do. You'll find your happy place someday. I'm confident you will.
/LK
@emilyalt Hi Liz, like others I immediately thought this was a work based post (retirement is great) but I now see it's much more than that. So congrats on the new name & I guess, new start in life. It must be quite exciting! I picked up one phrase on your profile which really speaks volumes "It's getting harder to pass as a guy" That must be amazing & I must admit to a little jealousy about that. I hope things continue along the same lines.
X
Sasha
Thank you Sasha!
Yeah, the title is a bit misleading. Clickbait perhaps? But it serves my purpose of getting the news out to as many members as possible.
My new life started a few years ago and things have never been better. But my legal name has always been a source of dysphoria. I knew I needed to change it but didn't focus on it until this year. Obviously I needed to be 100% happy with whatever l chose. I don't want to do this again!
Getting official recognition is the start of a new chapter in my new life. A new chapter that I'm very optimistic about!
I last edited my profile at least a year ago. My statement "It's getting harder to pass as a guy" is even more true today. It's very difficult to 'boymode' now. The physical changes to my appearance are the obvious reason. The mental and emotional changes are the bigger reason. It's exhausting to hide. It hurts. Anyone that's trans will understand that.
/LK
@emilyalt Welcome, Liz! Congratulations on this milestone in your journey. I'm sure that by the end of this message I'll be fully accustomed to the change! Awesome news, lady!
Thanks GF! Hope you're doing well! I'm missing the PNY and the friends I've made there. I'd love to attend Bumbershoot but don't see how I can swing it this year. You attending?
I'll tell 'ya, transition saved my life. Best decision ever. Things have been good. But this name change.... Should've done it sooner. I didn't realize how good it would be for my head.
/LK
@emilyalt
Liz,sorry, I don't like it. I hate change.
Wait a minute. In the last 5 years I have just about abandoned my male clothes, been working at Torrid, I present as female almost 24/7.I guess I don't hate change that much, but a new name for you will take a little getting used to.
Cassie
Cassie!
Whether you love it or hate it today, I'm confident it'll grow on you! Resistance is futile!
/LK
@emilyalt Congratulations, Liz on your name change and progress towards the life you want to lead.
Ok then, hello, Liz, it's good to meet you...eh.....again 😊.
May your new name herald good fortune in your new..ish life!
Allie x
Liz -
Congratulations on the name change and other legal changes.
XOXO
Suzanne
Thanks Suzanne! It's a long process to change one's name and gender marker. The court order is the essential 1st step.
/LK
Welcome , Liz ! May you live long and be happy.
Emma x
Ah, the butterfly emerges from her cocoon and graces the world with her beauty.
Welcome to your new life Liz and may it be as wonderful as you.
Congrats Liz! You have chosen such a beautiful name. It's so important that a name reflects who you are.
I totally get it. On here, I'm Lea, and feel like Lea. In real life, as I become more truthful about my CD side, I have a different feminine name that suits me because my real life side is at a different comfort level of being known as a CD than my CDH presence. Someday, as real life gets more confident, I hope to combine the 2 names because I love them both.
Thanks Lea! I agree. It's a beautiful name. A classic. More importantly, it felt like the 'right' name.
I feel an interesting resonance with your story. When I still identified as a CD and was figuring out what this all meant, I started to notice an internal disconnect with my name. I liked it a lot, but it didn't 'feel' right. At the time I brushed it off as one of the uncertainties in my journey. Only time would tell if there was more to it. Obviously, there was. Years later, I knew it wasn't my name for the rest of my life.
I hope you someday find the name that reflects who you are!
/LK
Good for you Liz, one more box checked off. May you have endless happy days ahead of you!
Sherri
Thank you Sherri! One more box checked. Plenty more to go, LOL! Life is good and it keeps getting better!
/LK
Dear Liz,
....when I find my self speechless, or struggling to find and say the right words, I retreat to my treasure chest.
God Bless You, Dear Liz. May the Force Be With You, and/or May the Lord Be With You and With Your Spirit.
Love, Hugs and Amen.
Thea
PS....I'm So Happy For YOU.
Thanks Thea! Whatever you want to call this....I think it found me when I needed it most. The day when I understood I was trans. I had to choose between being happy or being miserable....for the rest of my life. Happy was hard. Miserable was easy. The answer was simple yet maddeningly complex. I know I chose wisely. I also know that decision wasn't the result of pure intellect....
/LK
Well, hi there Liz, and I welcome the name change. I think it suits the person I know fairly well as Emily. We are both on our journey as women, we have transitioned and are well past being CD's. I'm a bit ahead of you with the name change, as Lauren actually is the name my Mom gave me. She's gone now, but I now know that she knew I was intersex. I had to legally change my middle name to a feminine spelling. The name you all see one as my last name here on CDH and over at TGH, is what I use as my online identifier. Like you, my legal last name won't be known online.
Here in British Columbia, legal name and gender change is quite easy to do. I have been a legal female in British Columbia and Canada for well over a year and a half. The next hurdle will be renewing my Canadian passport, then I think all the T's will have been crossed and the I's dotted.
I welcome all the continuing news from my dear sister, Liz K!
Big hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Thanks GF! I didn't know how much I needed this until I did it. The dysphoria I've felt from my previous legal name is dissipating fast. Should've done this much sooner. In hindsight, I saw a name change as little more than a formality. A box to check along with all the other boxes. Little did I realize my name is how I connect with my identity.
I envy that you had a relationship with your mother where you were able to discuss your identity. I never knew what name my parents had chosen if I'd been born female. My mom passed many years ago. My dad is too old and too narrow-minded to have that conversation.
I'm fast tracking my passport and other documents....just in case.
Big hugs back at 'ya!
/LK
I hope Emily has a lovely retirement and Liz takes over seamlessly with no fuss or fanfare..Oh hang on....
Thanks Angela! There's already a warm glow. Fond memories of the name that got me where I am today. Time for a new chapter!
/LK
All the best to you Liz as you start on this wonderful new phase of your life!
Hi Liz K,.
Congratulations on your legal name change. Liz is a great choice! It was my maternal grandmothers name.
Alice
Hello again Liz and congratulations! Hugs, Marg
🤗 congratulations on this milestone in your life so glad to hear and thank you for sharing your moment welcome Liz
Congratulations on your legal name change Emily, er I mean Liz! I was looking at the post headline in the forum and thought I needed to read this to see who Liz was that hijacker’s Emily’s photo. But seriously, I’m happy for you, it’s a big step.
Thanks Jennifer! Up until when I submitted my papers, it just felt like another box to check. Once the court had my papers, I was surprised by how much I wanted this to happen. It is a big step. A crucial one. I was checking the court website nearly every day in anticipation! It feels super validating to have official recognition of who I am.
/LK
