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RETIRING!

63 Posts
28 Users
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Posts: 2953
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@emilyalt)
Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

READER:
Retiring? Wait! What? That doesn't look right. WTF Emily! Who the hell is this Liz K person? Did someone hijack your account? Is Billie messing with you again?

ME:
Nope. Nothing like that Hon. I'm retiring Emily Alt. She had a good run but she's not me. Not really.  She'll be a fond memory of when I was still figuring stuff out.

Most of you know I'm trans. Well into transition. Lots of things happen when you transition. One of them is a legal name and gender change. That's happening. I got the court order last week.

My legal name is Elizabeth. You can call me Liz. And no, I won't tell y'all my last name. I don't want trolls showing up on my doorstep. Liz K will do.

READER:
But why not keep Emily Alt? That's who you've been for so many years.

ME:
Good question. 'Emily Alt' was a name I chose long ago when establishing my online identity. Back then, I identified as a CD and never thought of it as a potential legal name. Once I understood that I was trans, it became clear that I needed a new legal name. I got serious about it early this year.

Although I'm fond of 'Emily Alt', it's not the name I wish to legally bear for the rest of my life. In essence, it has always been just a screen name for me.

There is one place you'll continue seeing 'Emily Alt'. My username. That can't be changed. And I'm not dumping 5 years of memories for a new username.

READER:
Oh.

ME:
I invite y'all to start using 'Liz'. It's okay if you forget. I hope you like my new name!

Liz

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62 Replies
32 Replies
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 7 months ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1195

@emilyalt 

Fabulous news, Liz! Congratulations on your new name and all the legal gubbins that goes with it! Much hugs and best wishes!

xxx

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Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@jacquelinelarkspur 

Thanks Jacqui!  It's part of the process.  There's still plenty to do.  That said, my smile is a bit wider lately!

/LK

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 6 months ago

Noble Member     Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 708

@emilyalt Congratulations Liz, it's a lovely name 🙂  What wonderful news, that makes me so happy for you!  I hope your new identity takes you to the best places in your life 🙂  

Big hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@finallyfiona 

Posted by: @finallyfiona

I hope your new identity takes you to the best places in your life 🙂  

It already has Fiona!  The love and support I'm feeling from my sisters reinforces that CDH is my home. 

The name change has done wonders for my head.  I've started a new chapter.  The legal identity I've had my whole life....my male identity....is also being retired.  It's always been a source of dysphoria.  Not so much anymore!

/LK

 

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Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 12 months ago

Illustrious Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 3186

@emilyalt 

It's just the PERFECT name, and I love it.

instead of writing loads I'll just do this:

Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer Cheer  

Absolutely MASSIVE hugs,

Ellie x

Reply
Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 12 months ago

Illustrious Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 3186

@emilyalt 

I was just looking up the meaning of 'Elizabeth', and stumbled on a survey detailing which words people associate with the name. Here they are:

 

classic

mature

formal

upper class

natural

wholesome

refined

complex

serious  

 

I have to say, that's a pretty good list!

Hugs

Ellie x

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Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@ellyd22 

Ellie - I can't resist having a closer look at your list....

classic - okay, from a few different angles.

mature - enough to stay out of trouble!

formal - nah, I'm pretty informal.

upper class - LOL hardly!

natural - I suppose.

wholesome - pretty conflicted on this one!

refined - does lots of education count?

complex - agree, all women are complex beings!

serious - when I have to be, otherwise no.

/LK

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@ellyd22 

I'm laughing out loud Ms. Davis!  There are times when minimalism is the best form of flattery!

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@autumngold)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 113

@emilyalt 

Congrats! I like it! When I saw your picture and clicked on this topic, I thought you were retiring from work. My eyes didn't register the different name as my coffee hasn't taken affect.

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@autumngold 

Thank you Autumn!  Drink more coffee!  I do work too much.

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 56

@emilyalt Hi Liz, I like it. New changes need new identity. So many people get stuck in the past and have trouble coping with what's happening in the present. You have to be who you are, there is no other way to stay sane. Good luck with your transition. I hope everything goes smoothly. I don't know what mental changes one has to deal with during the transition period and would love to hear your thoughts as you progress if you feel like sharing it with us.

I had open heart surgery a few years ago and the hospital had people who had gone through that to come and talk about it so I would be prepared for the after affects. It was a great help to be aware ahead of time. I was given morphine for the pain but, had hallucinations because of it which was so rare they didn't mention that possibility. I thought I was going insane it was so bad. I wish I had known in advance about that, it would have helped. I'm rambling on about myself here!

Good luck, keep in touch, love you,

Tia 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@tia 

Hey Tia!  Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.  I totally agree with you about living authentically.  It's kept me sane!  Dysphoria really sucks.  Transition saved my life.

As for the mental changes, I've written several forum posts about that.  I won't rehash them here for brevity's sake.  You can search my posts if you like.  TLDR - the changes are profound.  It's a rewiring of your brain....in a good way.  Imagine stumbling around in a dimly lit room when someone turns on all the lights.

As for being prepared....  Yes, my endocrinologist did describe what might happen.  But I wasn't expecting the profound changes that hit like a bus several days after my first dose.  It really was like being in a dark room when the lights get turned on.  A massive improvement within a matter of days.

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@tia)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Shady Cove, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 56

@emilyalt Thanks Liz, I will definitely check out your posts.

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 576

@emilyalt I’m very happy for you, Liz, and how you’re moving forward with your new life. May it be nothing but the best times ahead!

Hugs, Jill

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@jillannquinn 

Thank you so much Jill!  I didn't realize how much I needed this.  A new chapter!

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2374

@emilyalt Thanks for updating us about your name.

I don't try to follow people's on-line ID changes. There have been too many, in my experience, to want to keep up with their changes. There is one player that has had at least 6 IDs that I know about. That's too much.

I created one great, identifiable ID related to a game genre in 2003 and have only used it on-line since then. I even had one player come into an on-line lobby and ask, "Are you the real <ID>?" One player tries very hard to find out my name for his own pleasure, tries tricks to get me to slip up and reveal it. Won't happen. However, world-wide, everybody knows me only by my iconic name, so I see no reason or benefit to ever reveal my real name. Since it works so well elsewhere, I have started to do the same thing with my en femme name.

If you keep your Emily ID here, then continuity remains and we won't have to think. With Elizabeth, you picked a classic, even royal, female name. 😁

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Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@harriette 

Thanks Harriette!

If I wasn't transitioning, I wouldn't be doing this.  There wouldn't be any point.  I did consider keeping Emily Alt for my online persona.  But it would be awkward in social situations.  I have a lot of friends IRL that also know me online.  I want to live authentically.  Juggling names doesn't make sense.

I've always loved Elizabeth so it was an easy decision.  The rest of my name was not easy!

It's troubling that someone would try to trick you into revealing your real name.  I hope that hasn't happened here.

/LK

 

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2374

@emilyalt A simple, authentic life is better.

No, I can't imagine someone here trying to pry too far into my life. I'm good. 👍

Reply
Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     Longview, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 47

@emilyalt 

Congratulations Liz,  on being well on your way through transition!   I can totally understand the desire to adopt a name that suits you for your real and future life.  

Kim 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@kimdl94 

Thanks Kim!  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I didn't know how much I needed this until I did it!  A new chapter!

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@kimdl94)
Joined: 1 month ago

Estimable Member     Longview, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 47

@emilyalt 

It sounds wonderful.   I am not quite there yet, but much farther out than I once imagined possible.  

Love,

 

Kim

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@kimdl94 

Just keep following your path Kim.  That's all any of us can do.  You'll find your happy place someday.  I'm confident you will.

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 6 months ago

Honorable Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 275

@emilyalt Hi Liz, like others I immediately thought this was a work based post (retirement is great) but I now see it's much more than that. So congrats on the new name & I guess, new start in life. It must be quite exciting! I picked up one phrase on your profile which really speaks volumes "It's getting harder to pass as a guy" That must be amazing & I must admit to a little jealousy about that. I hope things continue along the same lines.

X

Sasha

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@sashabennett 

Thank you Sasha!

Yeah, the title is a bit misleading.  Clickbait perhaps?  But it serves my purpose of getting the news out to as many members as possible.

My new life started a few years ago and things have never been better.  But my legal name has always been a source of dysphoria.  I knew I needed to change it but didn't focus on it until this year.  Obviously I needed to be 100% happy with whatever l chose.  I don't want to do this again! 

Getting official recognition is the start of a new chapter in my new life.  A new chapter that I'm very optimistic about!

I last edited my profile at least a year ago.  My statement "It's getting harder to pass as a guy" is even more true today.  It's very difficult to 'boymode' now.  The physical changes to my appearance are the obvious reason.  The mental and emotional changes are the bigger reason.  It's exhausting to hide.  It hurts.  Anyone that's trans will understand that.

/LK

 

Reply
(@justnikki)
Joined: 2 years ago

Honorable Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 428

@emilyalt Welcome, Liz! Congratulations on this milestone in your journey. I'm sure that by the end of this message I'll be fully accustomed to the change! Awesome news, lady!

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@justnikki 

Thanks GF!  Hope you're doing well!  I'm missing the PNY and the friends I've made there.  I'd love to attend Bumbershoot but don't see how I can swing it this year.  You attending?

I'll tell 'ya, transition saved my life.  Best decision ever.  Things have been good.  But this name change....  Should've done it sooner.  I didn't realize how good it would be for my head.  

/LK

Reply
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 1881

@emilyalt 

Liz,sorry, I don't like it. I hate change. 

Wait a minute. In the last 5 years I have just about abandoned my male clothes, been working at Torrid, I present as female almost 24/7.I guess I don't hate change that much, but a new name for you will take a little getting used to. 

Cassie 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@loneleycd 

Cassie!

Whether you love it or hate it today, I'm confident it'll grow on you!  Resistance is futile!

/LK

Reply
Baroness
(@denimwear)
Joined: 3 years ago

Honorable Member     Other, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 504

@emilyalt  Congratulations, Liz on your name change and progress towards the life you want to lead. 

 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@denimwear 

Thank you Aurora!

Reply
(@cdashley)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1287

@emilyalt Nice to meet you Liz, congratulations on your new life. lol

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@cdashley 

Thank you Ashley!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 644
Baroness
(@alexina)
Noble Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 months ago

Ok then, hello, Liz, it's good to meet you...eh.....again 😊.

May your new name herald good fortune in your new..ish life!

Allie x

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@alexina 

Thanks Allie!  I'm pretty fortunate but I'll take all I can get!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 1370
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Liz -

Congratulations on the name change and other legal changes.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@cdsue 

Thanks Suzanne!  It's a long process to change one's name and gender marker.  The court order is the essential 1st step.

/LK

Reply
Posts: 85
Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Estimable Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

Welcome , Liz ! May you live long and be happy.

 

Emma x

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@emmat 

Thank you Emma!

Reply
Posts: 467
Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Honorable Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Ah, the butterfly emerges from her cocoon and graces the world with her beauty.

Welcome to your new life Liz and may it be as wonderful as you.

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@michellemybell 

Thanks Michelle!  Life has been good.  Changing my name makes it even better!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 874
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Noble Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Congrats Liz! You have chosen such a beautiful name. It's so important that a name reflects who you are.

I totally get it. On here, I'm Lea, and feel like Lea. In real life, as I become more truthful about my CD side, I have a different feminine name that suits me because my real life side is at a different comfort level of being known as a CD than my CDH presence. Someday, as real life gets more confident, I hope to combine the 2 names because I love them both.

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@lea-jhene 

Thanks Lea!  I agree.  It's a beautiful name.  A classic.  More importantly, it felt like the 'right' name.

I feel an interesting resonance with your story.  When I still identified as a CD and was figuring out what this all meant, I started to notice an internal disconnect with my name.  I liked it a lot, but it didn't 'feel' right.  At the time I brushed it off as one of the uncertainties in my journey.  Only time would tell if there was more to it.  Obviously, there was.  Years later, I knew it wasn't my name for the rest of my life.

I hope you someday find the name that reflects who you are!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 462
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Good for you Liz, one more box checked off. May you have endless happy days ahead of you!

Sherri

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@blondsherri 

Thank you Sherri!  One more box checked.  Plenty more to go, LOL!  Life is good and it keeps getting better!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 57
Duchess
(@theapat)
Trusted Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 10 months ago

Dear Liz,

....when I find my self speechless, or struggling to find and say the right words, I retreat to my treasure chest. 

God Bless You, Dear Liz. May the Force Be With You, and/or May the Lord Be With You and With Your Spirit.

Love, Hugs and Amen.

Thea

PS....I'm So Happy For YOU.

 

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@theapat 

Thanks Thea!  Whatever you want to call this....I think it found me when I needed it most.  The day when I understood I was trans.  I had to choose between being happy or being miserable....for the rest of my life.  Happy was hard.  Miserable was easy.  The answer was simple yet maddeningly complex.  I know I chose wisely.  I also know that decision wasn't the result of pure intellect....

/LK

Reply
Posts: 1081
Duchess
(@reallylauren)
Noble Member     Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Well, hi there Liz, and I welcome the name change. I think it suits the person I know fairly well as Emily.  We are both on our journey as women, we have transitioned and are well past being CD's.     I'm a bit ahead of you with the name change, as Lauren actually is the name my Mom gave me.    She's gone now, but I now know that she knew I was intersex. I had to legally change my middle name to a feminine spelling. The name you all see one as my last name here on CDH and over at TGH, is what I use as my online identifier. Like you, my legal last name won't be known online.

Here in British Columbia, legal name and gender change is quite easy to do. I have been a legal female in British Columbia and Canada for well over a year and a half. The next hurdle will be renewing my Canadian passport, then I think all the T's will have been crossed and the I's dotted.

I welcome all the continuing news from my dear sister, Liz K!

Big hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@reallylauren 

Thanks GF!  I didn't know how much I needed this until I did it.  The dysphoria I've felt from my previous legal name is dissipating fast.  Should've done this much sooner.  In hindsight, I saw a name change as little more than a formality.  A box to check along with all the other boxes.  Little did I realize my name is how I connect with my identity.

I envy that you had a relationship with your mother where you were able to discuss your identity.  I never knew what name my parents had chosen if I'd been born female.  My mom passed many years ago.  My dad is too old and too narrow-minded to have that conversation.

I'm fast tracking my passport and other documents....just in case.

Big hugs back at 'ya!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 2652
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

I hope Emily has a lovely retirement and Liz takes over seamlessly with no fuss or fanfare..Oh hang on....

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@ab123 

Thanks Angela!  There's already a warm glow.  Fond memories of the name that got me where I am today.  Time for a new chapter!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 1263
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Noble Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

All the best to you Liz as you start on this wonderful new phase of your life!

Reply
2 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@d44 

Thank you Fiona!  It is a new phase.  It feels really good!

/LK

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@d44 

Thank you Fiona!  It is a new phase.  It feels really good!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 7063
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Liz K,.

Congratulations on your legal name change.  Liz is a great choice!  It was my maternal grandmothers name.

Alice

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@aliceunderwire 

Thanks Alice!  I agree.  Liz suits me!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 814
Lady
(@margprodue)
Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hello again Liz and congratulations!  Hugs,  Marg

Reply
2 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@margprodue 

Thanks again Marg!  BTW you're the best-looking zombie I ever met!

/LK

Reply
Lady
(@margprodue)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Madison, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 814

@emilyalt   Ooooooh,  I've never gotten such a nice complement!  Thank you Liz.

Reply
Posts: 38
Guest
(@Anonymous 95623)
Eminent Member
Joined: 3 months ago

 🤗 congratulations on this milestone in your life so glad to hear and thank you for sharing your moment welcome Liz 

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@erinboo 

Thank you so much Erin!

/LK

Reply
Posts: 385
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Honorable Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Congratulations on your legal name change Emily, er I mean Liz!  I was looking at the post headline in the forum and thought I needed to read this to see who Liz was that hijacker’s Emily’s photo.  But seriously, I’m happy for you, it’s a big step.

Reply
1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@emilyalt)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 2953

@jennconn 

Thanks Jennifer!  Up until when I submitted my papers, it just felt like another box to check.  Once the court had my papers, I was surprised by how much I wanted this to happen.  It is a big step.  A crucial one.  I was checking the court website nearly every day in anticipation!  It feels super validating to have official recognition of who I am.

/LK

Reply
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