Rowan went out last night...

My story is a bit different to date, I was totally closeted until a few weeks back, and my lovely fiancee, R who is out and loud, poly, queer, and the biggest heart ever has coaxed me out of the closet. Mostly by offering love and clothes (whatsa difference?)

She wanted to see my clothes and promptly made me get rid of most of it....so for the last coupe of weeks we have been shopping and talking and trying to understand Rowan (Rowan herself is four days old...I had no name, and R. helped me find her...)

Two nights ago, R. dolled me up, just a maxi skirt and 3/4 sleeve top, and did a real, and vey professional makeup job on me....Now, I have never been one to stare at myself in a mirror...but I spent an hour or so just looking into the eyes of a new me, a lady that I do not understand....almost cried at how lovely I found myself, and I am not what you would call a crier...like...ever.

That told me that I could do this. I have outed myself to a very select few of very eclectic and broad minded people now...to overwhelming love and support. My goodness.

There is a local home where we meet up with other kinky, poly, trans, wierd folks that we identify with, and there was an open party last night with a very few people going...none of whom knew about Rowan, but I felt it a good place to start, so, I decided on a plan...Rowan is going out in public, now! Not just to a private home, but to do the errands such a trip takes. I felt it necessary at this stage to find the courage to carry my narrow butt out in heels and be a @#*& lady. lol.  R. saw how important it was and egged me on.  So, all dolled up in a Navy knee length skirt, (By god going to show off my legs in heels) a lacy little tank and a calf length knit cardiganthrown back to frame it all and give a little librarian look maybe...and a face that was....omg...I uad no idea....lovely.  In my not very humble opinion anyway...

R. wemt into the grocery store first with instructions to wear the spare flats I brought...have I mentioned I am stubborn?  Nope.  Four inch black patents with a little platform,  because this is my mission. If I can do it in heels, I can do it, period.

One scruffy looking dude walking out with a case of (cheap) beer gave me a bit of a disgusted look...I gave him a look that spoke of a spike heel to the temple...bye Felipe..

Everyone else was lovely...or ignored me.  Yasssss!  Objective unlocked: getting groceries.

At the party, R. went down first, as I was toting our newly aquired and soon to be one booze...and told everyone she had brought her new girlfriend....and was asked if Lloyd was coming too....She said...."yeeassss....sort of..."  I was introduced as Rowan all around, and formal introductions were made to people I have know for a long time...Oh my. Our hostess later admitted that it took her a good 45 seconds to be sure it was me...and she has a cynical eye.  I call that a buckt of success.  She later unshipped some things which had been a former partner's who had dabbled in CD....New boobs and a nice flesh backed black lace bra!   You gotta love going to a party and being presented with bigger boobs!  No southern belle debutante ever had it so good!

On the way home I had to hit the local stop n rob for a couple of things...I waited a minute before going in to let one guy and his girlfriend get gone...probably did not matter, but I would have avoided those two anyway....guy looked like an 80's eurotrash jerk.  Why put myself in a position to find out?   I went in amd waited at the counter for the lady to help me, she looked at me, halfhearted smile....then took another look...and lit up like the times square christmas tree....That made my whole night.

I am so relaxed and happy....I think I can face Rowan now, and learn who she is, because she is me.  I like me, I don't feel any sharp dysmorphia, but I like all of me, and I am not yet sure if I am trans or not, or to what level....not how far I am willing to go....but whatever it is, I can do it.

I think I have the best partner in the world. She is my hero.

❤

Rowan