Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

She bottled it.

12 Posts
9 Users
76 Reactions
313 Views
Posts: 1341
Topic starter
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

To 'bottle it': In case it's not a phrase Americans know, it means to back out, lose one's nerve.

 

My wife and I were going to go out to the city with me dressed this morning but I got the distinct impression that she was not comfortable, there was just something about her demeanour. I hadn't actually got dressed at the time but I had had a good shave and done my legs before we had the conversation. Fortunately we do talk about things and no, she was not comfortable and, to be honest, neither was I. She felt it was too 'odd', she hadn't got used to it all and that it would take more time, although she was fine with me dressing at home. I felt that if she wasn't going to be happy and comfortable then I didn't want the responsibility of making her unhappy, so we called it a day before it started. We've decided that for now, if I want to go out dressed then I will and if she decides she wants to come along then that's fine, if not, it's also not a problem; that way, there is no pressure on either of us. It's quite a relief really as I can now go out dressed if I want, on my own, with only me having to accept the ramifications (in the unlikely event there are any) and not having to worry about anyone else. It's a shame but it's better to know in advance. We've been out together once and for now, that will have to do.

 

Heigh ho, onward and upward.

Reply
11 Replies
5 Replies
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@rebeccabaxter 

A very wise move I think Rebecca.

The last thing either of you need is for her to feel uncomfortable. It’s great that she’s ok with you dressing, so anything else will need to be taken at her pace.

Hopefully she’ll become more comfortable with it, but if not, being able to go out alone with her blessing is a big win.

 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@lucyb112  @rebeccabaxter 

I was going to write the same response but Lucy beat me to it 🙂

It's all about feeling your way and only doing what each of you is comfortable with. Slow and steady wins the race.

Hugs

Ellie x

Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@rebeccabaxter I agree with @lucyb112! Your agreement sounds like a perfect solution.

XXX

Jamie

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@rebeccabaxter Another example showing that good communication between couples is key.

Reply
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@rebeccabaxter 

A sensible, considerate and loving compromise. Absolutely the right thing to do, and an excellent basis to build on. I applaud you and your wife.

Reply
Posts: 879
Lady
(@mary)
Noble Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 4 years ago

Interesting. In Australia the term means to bottle things up... not to talk about the issue.

Reply
2 Replies
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1341

Posted by: @mary

Interesting. In Australia the term means to bottle things up... not to talk about the issue.

 

As it is in the UK. We 'bottle things up' i.e. we keep them hidden or held inside but also 'to bottle it' or 'to lose one's bottle' means to back out or lose ones nerve. Like perhaps a bungee jumper who backs out at the last second as 'he has lost his bottle' or 'bottled it'.

 

The internet informs me it might derive from the Cockney rhyming slang -- bottle and glass, or ass, and is a reference to losing control of one's bowels after becoming so scared of something.

 

For our American hosts, you will have to look up Cockney Rhyming Slang as I can't possibly give an explanation here (or anywhere else for that matter. as it is almost incomprehensible.) 

 

Reply
Lady
(@mary)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 879

@rebeccabaxter thanks..I love the culture of terms.

Reply
Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

A good and sensible compromise Becca. I am sure that your wife is still thinking things through and needs time. At least she is not stopping you going out and perhaps she will rejoin you when she is ready.

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1341

@ab123 

 

Yes, I think she will, given time. In the meantime, she is going to paint my toenails over the weekend, so that's nice (especially with my back not bending that far!).

Reply
Posts: 2111
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Becca -

That is wonderful that you could feel your wife being uncomfortable and had a conversation with her. Better to hold off until she is comfortable rather than to upset the apple cart and ruin any chances in the future. I try to detect my wife's feelings when I'm dressed and if I feel she is uncomfortable I'll change. There are times I've done that and she says she's okay but I can tell she's not. Open communication is best. I usually let her start any conversations regarding my dressing as I don't want to assume she is okay discussing it or cause her to shut down. When we do talk the conversations are open and honest.

Enjoy what time you have and at some point thins may change.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!