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Steppin' out 🙂

45 Posts
16 Users
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Posts: 1461
Topic starter
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I was going to post this on the 'Today I ...' thread, but I think it's bigger than that.  This morning, I went out of my front door for the first time in full Fiona mode - hair, makeup, the works!  😊  It's unseasonably mild here at the moment, even some nice sunshine to go with it, so no coat on, just my new long-sleeved denim fit-&-flare dress (comes to above the knee), thick black tights and the black ankle-boots that I bought a couple of weeks ago.  

It was the nice weather falling on my weekly full-Fiona day that gave me the impetus really.  I thought, if there's an order waiting in the online shop that I run for the car club I belong to, I'm damn well going to go and post it off en femme.  My neighbours both sides and opposite are home, but to hell with them seeing me - that's always been going to happen eventually, ever since I got serious enough to progress from lingerie.  If today's the day, then so be it. 

Shutting my front door behind me wasn't without its internal butterflies, but before I knew it I was down my driveway, off the gravel and listening to the heels of my boots on the pavement.  A jogger emerged from a side footpath right in front of me! ... but I don't think he even looked at all before carrying on in the direction I was going.  I'm about 250 yards down a cul-de-sac with pavement on one side only, and the postbox is on the opposite side at the entrance, right next to a main road junction with traffic lights.  Having enjoyed every step of the way, I was about to cross over to the postbox when a red car turned in and slowed down as it reached me!  I carried on, crossed behind it and posted the packet in full view of the queueing traffic at the junction.  As I turned back, the red car was just finishing backing onto the driveway of one of the nearby houses. I crossed back over to the pavement and walked across right in front of the car as the door opened!  The rest of the walk back was uneventful, but that's the whole point - there were no shouted comments, no hoots from the cars that passed or at the junction.  If anyone noticed, I don't know them, and what they made of seeing me as Fiona is theirs to deal with.

Aside from the euphoria of today's achievement, it's so nice even just to want to go and enjoy being dressed outside in the daylight again.  I've missed that feeling since last year.  Back then it was mainly just in my back garden, and just the clothes, as I still had a beard.  It seems that as Fiona, my spirit responds more to the weather than it does as my drab self, so today I'm filled with hope for the coming Spring and Summer 🙂

Edit: I've just taken and submitted a photo of what I presented to the world this morning (with indoor flats instead of ankle boots).  It'll be in my public photos once it's been through moderation.

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44 Replies
23 Replies
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@finallyfiona 

Fantastic, Fiona! Congratulations on your debut excursion en femme. It sounds like you had a great time, despite the butterflies and the unexpected passers-by. I bet you can't wait for next time!

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@jacquelinelarkspur Thank you hon, and too right I can't wait 🙂  The next big step will be if there's an order that needs me to take it to the Post Office ... that's a whole size up of Big Girl panties though!

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@finallyfiona I'm not supposed to advertise on here *Ellie looks carefully around to see who might be watching, then lowers her voice to a whisper* ... but the Chiswick Gift Company sell beautiful enamel badges that say 'I've got my Big Girl panties on'.

You could wear one for a future Post Office trip 🙂

Ellie x

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@ellyd22 Thank you for another unexpected girly first experience as a result of your post 🙂  I was worried for a moment about how waterproof my mascara is ... I was in absolute tears of laughter! 🤣  

Then as I checked out their website, I realised something like that could actually be really a good ice-breaker, I'd be guaranteed to get smiles back from anyone I spoke to.  'Scared sh!tless but doing it anyway' or 'Chin up, t!ts out, it's all good' might also be good contenders.  You know, I just might ...

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@finallyfiona Well ... I did.

I bought one to celebrate coming out to my Mum and sister last summer. I felt that I needed something to mark the occasion :).

Ellie x

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@ellyd22 That does it then, I'll have to place an order 😉  I've been thinking of getting a girly mug for Fiona days as well, they've got that covered too.

Why am I so easy to sell to in Fiona mode? 🙂

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@finallyfiona The stuff they sell is REALLY good quality as well as fun.

At this point I'd like to emphasise that THEY'RE NOT PAYING ME*.

I was just VERY happy with what I received from them.

Hugs

Ellie x 

* If they WANT to start paying me then I'm not going to object.

We could put the money towards a CDH group outing to a Leeds First Friday event 🙂

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Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1005

@finallyfiona 

That’s brilliant Fiona.

The butterflies are a definite thing aren’t they? But once you’re out and moving you get more and more confident with every step.

That’s the genie out of the bottle now though and it aint going back in!

I’ve not made it out for months. This is making me want to as soon as I can

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@lucyb112 Isn't it strange how you think you'll work up to something gradually, and then it just happens?  I had no idea I was going to do this when I woke up today.  I always thought I'd talk to the neighbours first before I went out, but it was just too nice not to.  The genie's been pushing at the cork for a while, today she gave it her hardest shove and it finally gave up!  I do hope you get the opportunity soon to go out again too hon 🙂

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 602

@finallyfiona 

Wow Fiona, that's wonderful and I can only say how happy I am for you. There is no holding back now. It won't be long before you are happily out shopping for clothes, fully en-femme, out on the high street 😊 .

I don't know about genies in bottles; the cork came out so suddenly that it sounds to me it was more like a bottle of champagne and it's time to celebrate 🥂 .

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@fembecky Thank you hon, and I love that way of looking at it! 🙂 

Even though I might be riding the pink wave at the moment, I still think there's a way to go yet before I'm shopping freely en femme.  But strangely enough, a local magazine popped through the door this morning mentioning this town's first Pride event, in the High Street, on June 1st.  Now that has got me thinking!

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Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 602

@finallyfiona Tantalising thought!

I have never been to a Pride event, but nearly got caught up in one. About 10 or 12 years ago on one of our very occasional Saturday morning forays into London, my wife and I turned down into Baker Street only to find our car caught up in the midst a host of floats and numerous people all getting ready for London Pride. It took us nearly an hour to get through what would normally take 2 minutes.

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@finallyfiona The photo is wonderful. It was swiftly approved 🙂

Hugs

Ellie x

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@ellyd22 Awww, thanks hon 😊 I'm a really happy girl today 😀

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@finallyfiona Between your wonderful post, the fabulous photo and your friend request (thank you!) you've certainly made MY day.

Ellie x

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Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@finallyfiona Fiona, thank you very much for sharing your wonderful experience. I hope that, at some time in the future, I'll be able to share a similar experience.  

XXX

Jamie

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@jwhite You're so welcome 🙂  You know, that sounds somewhat familiar, I'm sure that's what I was saying not very long ago in response to similar posts.  What is it they say, if you can dream it, you can do it?  Go to it, and here's wishing you a smooth first outing hon 🤗 

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@finallyfiona I'm slowly getting more acceptance from my wife. I'd love to have her accept me fully as Jamie and make my first outing with me. 

XXX

Jamie

Reply
(@cdashley)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1489

@finallyfiona Congratulations Fiona . Love that sound heels make when walking outside in them.

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@cdashley Thank you 🙂  It's more than just the sound I think, it felt more like the steady rhythm was the thing that kept me grounded, able to enjoy it rather than my mind running off into flights of worry. At least to start with.  I'll have to see what it's like in girly sneakers one day once I've got more used to going out.

Reply
Lady
(@denises924)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Posts: 210

@finallyfiona 

Congratulations Fiona! I'm so happy for you. It sounds like you were absolutely on Cloud 9 during your jaunt. There's so much detail in your post, I felt myself cheering you on as I read. A very inspirational story by a very brave, confident girl. I love the pic, it was a perfect outfit indeed. You looked delightful, but very natural - if that makes sense...

Thanks for sharing! It was a great read to start my day.

Denise
❤️

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@denises924 That's so nice, thank you! 🤗 Really too kind.  I do wonder if I write too much sometimes, I can be very wordy if I don't try and keep a lid on it.  

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@finallyfiona Fiona, I didn’t find your story wordy at all. All was needed to complete the story!

Jamie

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Wonderful Fiona and what an eventful uneventful event.  You did it in style and if any one did see or didn't it matters not as it is obvious this isn't a one off. Whatever will happen in the future you should be able to deal with.

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@ab123 Thank you hon and no, while there's still more courage that needs building, it's definitely not going to be just a one-off 🙂

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Posts: 517
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

You go girl, put those big girl panties on Fiona and let the sun shine down on you. I'm sure what you felt when that car backed into the driveway, was nothing less than a thrill and a boost of confidence for you, too feel so right as you walked the rest of the way home.

Sherri

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@blondsherri Thank you Sherri 🙂  Replaying that moment with my eyes closed is still putting a big smile on my face and giving me the tingles!

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Posts: 1078
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Good on ya, girl! The first steps in an assuredly long journey! 🙂

Super cute look, too!

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2 Replies
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@melodeescarlet Thank you hon 🤗 Although I've got a looong way to go to get as cute as you!  I hope the rest of the journey is as much fun as today.

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Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1078

@finallyfiona Aww, thank you, but you just be the youest you you can!

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Posts: 138
(@ajthairms)
Reputable Member     Poole, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Congrats and well done going out the front door for the first time.

The first time I tried to go out the front door during the day-time was about 6 years ago, I bottled out. I faffed about and changed my outfit; then I tried again - awful jitters but I got outside and by the time I'd walked about 100yds down the road I felt fine.  Since then it just got easier and easier, now I don't think about and just do it.

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2 Replies
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@ajthairms Thank you 🙂  You look great in your outdoor shots, no wonder you're so relaxed about going out!  I've done a couple of night time walks now, and a couple of drives out in daylight last year before I shaved my beard and got hair and makeup, getting out of the car in the middle of nowhere.  But nothing like today - and if it's all downhill from here, that'll be wonderful.

Fiona xxx

Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@ajthairms I agree with @finallyfiona; your pics are terrific. Hopefully, I can come up with pics as good.

Jamie

Reply
Posts: 289
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Again, congratulations as I still get those feelings even though I have been out with public many times, my favorite place to go is church for Sunday mass, I guess it makes me feel like just another lady, and, since I haven’t gotten any stares or comments, I just love doing it, sort of a normal thing to do, shopping center is another place. I just hope to find a close friend to not have to do it alone, keep enjoying, you really looked wonderful.

 

carla

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3 Replies
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@carlafirst11 WOW! Church is one of the last places, even though we attend a progressive church.

XXX

Jamie

Reply
Lady
(@carlafirst11)
Joined: 2 years ago

Honorable Member     So. California , California, United States of America
Posts: 289

@jwhite yes, i sure did it when we started opening after pandemic, still wearing a face mask, then one day I got the courage to just walk without it, very jittery, I must say, now the rest is history, going to take communion as well.

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@carlafirst11 Carla. thank you 😊 

I'm a confirmed heathen but good on you girl 🙂 I might just have to try the shopping centre one day though, the next place up the road is a city with a couple of good ones.  Hope you get to enjoy it soon and in company.

Reply
Posts: 122
Lady
(@kelgels)
Estimable Member     Tasmania, Australia
Joined: 2 years ago

Way to go Fiona, those first steps are the toughest to take.  You proved to your self you can do this.  I can relate to how hard this step was to take and despite all the times I have been out I am still very cautious but this site has helped hugely with my confidence.  Onward upwards now Fiona, you know now  you can do this.  Well Done!

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@kelgels Thank you and I know what you mean, I don't think I'd be at this stage yet if it wasn't for all the girls here.  On so many threads, even if I'm not contributing to them, it's so nice to see everyone supporting each other in all their posts. 🤗

Reply
Posts: 1805
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

From one Fiona to another, congratulations! You are about to embark on an extremely thrilling and fulfilling part of your dressing journey. Enjoy!

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@d44 Ooooh!!   

~ squeals gently and excitedly ~ 

Thank you Fiona, I'm really looking forward to this! 

~ lifts her her right hand to her mouth and swallows the red pill 😎 ~

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Posts: 2111
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Fiona -

What a wonderful experience for you, hope you have many more like it in the future. 

I haven't had the opportunity to do that yet but hopefully one day it will come.

XOXO
Suzanne

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1 Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@cdsue Thank you 🙂  I hope it all comes together for you soon and you get to experience it too.  I'm still riding around on a pink cloud the next day 😊

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Posts: 1461
Topic starter
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I knew I'd be having a full Fiona day today, and that I would have another order to post off.  It was a lovely sunny morning so I thought I'd repeat the little outing from a couple of weeks ago 😎  Finally, after getting my outfit and makeup on (while keeping an eye on work of course 😉 ) it was time for the wig to go on. Let's brush it out first ... but where's the hairbrush? 

Cue much searching of everywhere that I store any of Fiona's stuff, then the rest of the house - no joy whatsoever.  Can't think where I've put it down, but I just can't find it anywhere.  "Right then my girl", I think to myself, "the outfit's not too stand-out.  We'll see your trip to the post-box, and raise you a trip into town to buy a new hairbrush!" 😲  

So, before I could chicken out, I was in the car, stopping at the end of the road to post the packet, and then on to one of the supermarkets right in the middle of town, where I know the location of the haircare and cosmetic supplies.  By now it was 1pm and nicer than ever.  It took a bit of a deeper breath to get me out of the car, but then ... off we go down the carpark, over the crossing, smile and thank the car that stopped, up to the door and we're inside! 

Although I knew the aisle I wanted would be relatively quiet, it was a fair way in and, being lunchtime, it was pretty busy, especially down at the checkout end.  But I heard no comments, I don't think I was even getting any looks, although once in the aisle I definitely got a thankyou from one lady for standing back from where I could see to search the shelves, for her to pass.  However, I couldn't find any hairbrushes.  Not round the end into the next aisle, either.

The hairbrushes turned out to be on the end of a completely different aisle, right in the busy bit opposite the checkouts.  On a wave of optimism from the experience so far, I took a few moments to choose from a couple of different styles, I even did the bend-down-sideways-with-legs-together to look at one on a lower level.  Picked up some hair bands too.  Then standing back up, I noticed the queue for the self-service tills ... OMG that might be a step too far for my confidence just yet! 😱 

So I went to a nearby checkout staffed by a lady of around my age, who was smiling and polite as she served the customer in front, who was already down the other end loading her trolley.  My turn came, not a flicker as she scanned my items and we did loyalty card, payment, receipt.  On the way out I seemed to be swimming against a tide of incoming people, but still no looks that I noticed.  I got back to the car with a big smile on my face 😀

When I arrived back home, I was still smiling, riding on such a wave of adrenaline.  So for good measure, seeing that the bin-men had been while I was out, I wheeled my neighbours' bins back down their drive and put them against their fence, in full view of their lounge window - with no net curtain, I could see Mrs inside watching TV!

There's no mention in this little tale of any feelings of femininity or freedom of expression.  There was too much adrenaline and excitement going on be able to take a step back and experience it on that level really.  If I'd had longer, I would have loved to have made a full excursion of it, taking in a cafe and some charity shops and making time to relax and feel the moment properly.  That's got to be for next time now ... and I'm sure there will be a next time 🙂

There are two more good outcomes from today's adventure.  For one, I should absolutely be able to do the post-office run en femme now.  And two, I've definitely now earned the handbag I've been promising myself for going out 'properly' 😍  

PS: I've uploaded the outfit to my public photos.  And now there's a third good outcome, I'm going to have to upgrade to a paid subscription because I've got no more slots left!

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